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Keto and the Falcon - A Story Never Written Part 2

Updated on February 13, 2017

A Story Never Written (Part One)

I really enjoyed writing The Story Never Written and was amazed by the positive response from readers. A number suggested that I should write a series around Keto, and develop his character further. I decided to take that advice and this is the result.

If you haven't already read Part One of "The Story Never Written" please click on the link and read it first or this poem may not make a lot of sense.

Alaskan Tundra
Alaskan Tundra | Source
Source

Keto and the Falcon

Keto stood atop a cliff,

His breathing deep and slow

Sensing what he couldn't see,

The vast tundra below.


He moved his body slowly,

Muscles taut and hard.

His very own form of tai chi,

He called it keto bard.


The blind seer moved along the edge

No fear that he might fall,

His body appeared weightless,

And the danger very small.

Source

Suddenly he makes a sound

No other man can hear.

A falcon leaves a nearby peak

And plummets like a spear.


Then Keto steps back from the ledge

And sits back against a boulder,

As the swiftest bird of prey swoops down

And lands upon his shoulder.


Sharp talons pierce his human flesh

But Keto flinches not.

His mind can disippate the pain

And make all bleeding stop.

Source

He feeds the bird a scrap of meat

Left over from a meal,

Then man and bird climbed down the cliff

Navigating just by feel.


A warrior lay in a hut,

His chest pierced by a spear.

The barbed spear head had broken off,

And death was very near.


Keto pushed into the room

And knelt down by the bed.

He took the falcon off his arm

And felt the ill man's head.

Source
Source

A fever racked his body,

His skin was wet with sweat.

Eyes closed and in a coma,

His chest heaved with each breath.


Keto stroked the falcon

Then gripped the raptor's leg,

Thrust a talon into the wound

And removed the barbed spear head.


A mime, a seer, a healer,

A legend of his time,

Keto's name's remembered,

But only through this rhyme.

Comments

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    • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

      John Hansen 

      3 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Thank you again, Phyllis. I fell in love with the Keto character myself. Have done three stories so far...hopefully there will be more.

    • Phyllis Doyle profile image

      Phyllis Doyle Burns 

      3 months ago from High desert of Nevada.

      This is the beginning of a great series, John - and maybe a book. (?)

      I love it.

    • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

      John Hansen 

      18 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Thanks so much, Shauna. I am enjoying writing this series. The most recent is "Keto the Peacemaker" but there will be more to come.

    • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

      John Hansen 

      18 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Thanks for following this series, John. Glad you are finding it enjoyable. Blessings.

    • faith-hope-love profile image

      John Ward 

      18 months ago from Richmond, British Columbia, Canada.

      I am still enjoying Keto and the Falcon. Looking Forward to more

      keep it coming. God Bless. John

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 

      18 months ago from Central Florida

      John, I love this spiritually and holistically connected duo. I hope to see more of Keto and the falcon. What an awesome read!

    • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

      John Hansen 

      19 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Thank you again, John. I appreciate your kind words.

    • faith-hope-love profile image

      John Ward 

      19 months ago from Richmond, British Columbia, Canada.

      As I said in my last Comment fiction can be entertaining and instructive. You manage to do both. thoroughly enjoyed this work.

    • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

      John Hansen 

      19 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Thank you Missy my friend. I don't think HP will choose this to move to LetterPile unless I submit it because they didn't choose the first one in the series. However sometimes there seems no rhyme or reason to what they select. If they did and wanted to delete the extras I think I would decline.

    • Missy Smith profile image

      Missy Smith 

      19 months ago from Florida

      Excellent!! I thoroughly enjoy reading about your character Keto. The pictures and video are awesome as well. I hope if Letterpile picks this one up, that they leave all the added entertainment. It goes so well with your story. :)

    • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

      John Hansen 

      19 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Hi Rasma, this is the type of poetry I really enjoy writing. I am glad you like reading it too. Thanks for the generous comment.

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 

      19 months ago from Riga, Latvia

      Applause for a truly marvelous story in poetry. I love the idea of telling stories with poetic rhyme. You do it very well. Enjoyed.

    • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

      John Hansen 

      19 months ago from Queensland Australia

      You are too kind, Paula. How could I refuse to keep this story going when I am getting comments like yours? A mini-book, now that is an idea. Thanks again.

    • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

      John Hansen 

      19 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Thank you for reading part 2, Shyron. I shall keep working on this series.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 

      19 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Bravo!! Bravo!!! Bellisimo!! Encore! I could read this story, poem after poem... You must keep this alive & at the end, make it a Mini Book!

      I would give copies to everyone I know.....P.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 

      19 months ago from Texas

      Awesome and beautiful, I enjoyed this very much John, and I am looking forward to the series.

      Blessings my friend.

    • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

      John Hansen 

      19 months ago from Queensland Australia

      So glad you are impressed by Keto, Linda. From the responses I think I have to continue his tale.

    • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

      John Hansen 

      19 months ago from Queensland Australia

      MsDora, I tried to create a hero that appealed to me with the hope that if I succeeded others would warm to him as well. Glad that worked. Thank you for the generous comment.

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 

      19 months ago from British Columbia, Canada

      Keto continues to impress me. I hope there's a Part Three in the series.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      19 months ago from The Caribbean

      This seems like a story enjoyable for all ages. Keto is a hero we could all fall in love with. Solid content set in happy rhythm makes a great poem. Good work, Jodah.

    • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

      John Hansen 

      19 months ago from Queensland Australia

      You are spot on, Dream On. Keto senses what needs to be done and instinctively knows what to do. I am glad you are enjoying the series and will keep his adventure going as long as I can come up with new scenarios. Thanks for the congratulations on 100,000 views. I know some people have over a million but I am happy.

    • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

      John Hansen 

      19 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Sakina, I am so glad you enjoyed this and really appreciate your generous comment.

    • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

      John Hansen 

      19 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Thank you for the wonderful comment and encouragement, Ann. I am a birds of prey fan too. I will do my best to keep this story going as long as I can keep coming up with new scenarios for Keto. Cheers.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 

      19 months ago

      What a great job. I feel Keto does what needs to be done.He has perfect timing. Congratulations on 100,000 views. I can see that number doubling as The Adventures Of Keto continues...... Looking forward to more. Thank you for sharing and caring.

    • SakinaNasir53 profile image

      Sakina Nasir 

      19 months ago from Kuwait

      This is awesome! I loved reading it a lot and you have a beautiful talent. God bless you always. :)

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 

      19 months ago from SW England

      This is fantastic, John! I was gripped from the start and the imagery was powerful all the way through. I also love anything to do with birds of prey, they are so majestic, so this appealed to me on so many levels! I saw a peregrine falcon swoop once, from an amazing height and with such speed (apparently the fastest creature in the world, who has special eyelids to protect when shooting downwards like a bullet), it was breath-taking.

      Well done and keep it going, pleeeeease!

      Ann

    • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

      John Hansen 

      19 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Thank you for reading this second chapter as well, Tim... I intend to highlight Keto's other special abilities in future instalments as ideas come to me. Thank you also for pointing out the problem with the link. That is fixed now.

    • tsmog profile image

      Tim Mitchell 

      19 months ago from Escondido, CA

      Onward the legend and lore go with well-written verse tickling the ear and imagination. Inspiring and provides for contemplation of Keto's wisdom through harmony as a healer of more than flesh. Thank you for sharing while hoping for the next verse leading this story further.

      Footnote: The link at the beginning does not go where it should :-)

    • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

      John Hansen 

      19 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Jo, it is The Story Never Written, so if I don't keep Keto alive who will? :)

      Thank you for reading.

    • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

      John Hansen 

      19 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Thank you for that kind comment, Clive.

    • jo miller profile image

      Jo Miller 

      19 months ago from Tennessee

      Glad you are keeping Keto alive. Great job.

    • clivewilliams profile image

      Clive Williams 

      19 months ago from Jamaica

      A very captivating and beautiful poem indeed john.

    • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

      John Hansen 

      19 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Hey Annette, thanks for reading and it is great to hear you are enjoying this tale. Yes, it is quite like an Indian story isn't it?

    • Annette Roussey profile image

      Annette D Roussey 

      19 months ago from Twinsburg

      This is such a great poem/ story. The pictures and the way it's coming about feel like an indian story.

      I'm looking forward to reading more adventures.

    • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

      John Hansen 

      19 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Ruby, thank you for your support of my writing. I am glad you enjoy Keto and I hope there are more adventures to come.

    • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

      John Hansen 

      19 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Thank you, Bill. I greatly appreciate that. I just wish I knew what that next level might be.

    • Jodah profile imageAUTHOR

      John Hansen 

      19 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Hi Chris, it was easy enough to start the poem off but more difficult to actually develop an interesting story within it. Then I had to fiddle with rhyme and meter to try to make it fit together. Glad it worked in the end. Thanks for your support.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      19 months ago from Southern Illinois

      I agree with every comment above. You are a true poet that can rhyme beautifully. I want to read every time Keto starts on another journey. Amazing!

    • Larry Rankin profile image

      Larry Rankin 

      19 months ago from Oklahoma

      Great read!

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 

      19 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      No effort did I see here. In fact perhaps the lack of any at all. I do not know if this wonderful art comes from within you or through you. In any case it is a true gift, thank you.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      19 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Seriously, John, you are oozing with talent. I agree with everything Chris said....take this to the next level, whatever that might be.

    • cam8510 profile image

      Chris Mills 

      19 months ago from Missoula, Montana through August 2018

      Bravo, John. The life and Times of Keto. I love part two as much as I enjoyed part one. Creating an interesting story, then making it fit the meter and rhyme have to be difficult. Great job with this challenging format.

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