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Layin' Lil' Charlie
By: Wayne Brown
CC keeps a talkin' 'bout that pretty 'hole in my chin'
Tryin' to score another bit of prose worthy win
But come on Charlie, the old answer is real simple
You just wish you had yourself a pretty lil' dimple
Charlie hooked me up with a midget groin-kicker
She worked me over good and ripped right off my nicker
He wrote a lot of other stuff heard only in C&W song
Then he had that lil' bitch a messin' with my bong!
After getting extricated from this wild dwarf out of hell
He took to a joint where they had brandy there for sell
Showed one of his women with tops so large and juggly
But God look at that face, man! She's way too friggin' ugly!
But CC kept a beggin' that I should take her for beer
I said I dunno Charlie, she missin teeth, warts on her ear
He said awwwh just close your eyes it all feels the same
She's got tricks and talents to make forget your own name
Well, I couldn't do it but Charlie claimed he just might
What could be wrong he asked with layin' a little pipe?
I handed him my car keys and said go for that warted treat
But I better not have to clean your DNA off my backseat
Dirty Lil Charlie grabbed that waitress and they head for my car
Left me sittin' in this ol' booth by the crapper in this old bar
Now it's been four hours; my patience is startin' to twitch
If I didn't know better I'd swear CC's married the ugly bitch
In a few more minutes Charlie come a-runnin' in a huff n' puff
Said he didn't believe he wanted any of that ugly stuff
Told me he had slipped his hand down to grab a little 'feela'
That's when he discovered she really weren't a 'sheila'!
Well, me and Charlie, we don't see that barroom's lights
Got a sign in the crapper: Danger We Have Transvestites
And Charlie says he swearin' off; don't want no more juggly
But I'll bet it wont' be long afore he turns up with some ugly
So that Dirty Lil' Charlie can just make jokes 'bout my chin
I ain't the one got caught with one of them crossdressin' men
He needs to get more observant, boil it down plain and simple
If an ugly girl ain't no sheila, I'd rather be playin' with my dimple
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