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LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD - Survival
Yes, this is a cliche....
I know...the first thing that comes to mind is Pat Benatar's hit song many years ago. The difference between then and now is that I am in my mid-forties and I finally get what she is saying after all these years!!! The first time I ever heard that song I was venturing into my first romantic relationships. I mean after quite a few relationships and marriages I can finally say that I have seen and felt all sorts of toxic gun powder and bombs!! That I have finally found my foxhole and I know exactly "where" and "how" to hide!!! Infact I can tell you truthfully that life is "complicated" and I'm actually glad that social sites give you this option when it comes to relationships. AMEN to that!!!
MY Relationship Status: COMPLICATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Without explaining why it is complicated, just hang on for a while longer.
So, now I finally get it. The battlefield consists of having love, losing love (or never loving the one you are with), having money, losing money, good sex, then eventually bad sex, one partner loses work, the other partner gains new job, one partner has addictions or starts one, the other doesn't, one has an affair and the other does not forgive or goes out and gets their "revenge." Some forgive and then some forget. Some people have vices and others don't. People lose their parents and children cause problems, college tuition and other pressures that can put a damper on a relationship. Some couples are good at communication and some are not. Like my favorite Eleanor Roosevelt quote which I always repeat " A woman is like a tea bag- you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water. Well I'm BOILING I tell you!!!! I feel sorry for you if you are on the enemy line!!! OK, I will stop joking around. This is serious cause you see, I have gone into "survival mode." I get angry and let down like everyone else. I feel passion and love like everyone else. I give more of myself then most and people who truly know me often get a lot of love in the things I say and do.
So, what is my point? There is NOT ONE so go onto a better hub and do yourself a service!! ha ha... Part of me wishes I found the right one to grow old with who is a master of everything. I know this is impossible and too much to ask, but it would be nice. It really would. Someone who when they find themselves in "hot water" they still bring me into the bath until it cools off. Makes sense doesn't? I mean I know the bath sucks when it is really hot and the person maybe having a really hard time and life changing experiences, but it would be nice to share the bath instead of being shut out of the bathroom. This is what I feel when it comes to relationships and friendships. Communication is "key" and when there is a "shut down" people act a certain way...they either deal with it or they "act out." I call this "survival" and I am extremely familiar with this emotion. Are you? I have been doing a lot of "soul searching" lately and have come to the conclusion that "Love is a battlefield." Even if you love the one you are with.
As a child I often got let down by immature partners and arguments would take the place of love. This is what happens when there is a breakdown of communication. Everyone acts differently in the battlefield. They either jump into the foxhole until the war is over or they shoot a couple of enemies, take care of their wounded and go back to the barracks and share some tea with their loved one. Even if it is for 5 minutes before they go into the next village and wipe them out. This is the type of soldier that I want. This is the type of person I want to share the battlefield with.
When a parent dies when you are young, you know that they will never return. This is fact and this is truth. But when communication breaks down for whatever reason in a friendship or romance, it feels like "death" to someone like me even if I decided to end the relationship. Love is there and then love is gone. I mourn the loss nomatter what. I just do. Even if they are still alive and having the hardest times in their lives ever.
The reason why I have let go of people in the past and just recently is because they left me out of the bathroom when the bath was too hot. In the case of a recent friendship that I ended due to the persons screwed up values and no respect for mine. The thing that really made them get kicked out of the squad was that they were not mature enough and did not have the gutts to approach certain issues and they treated me like the enemy (yes I am a bit threatening and a very strong woman), so they ran like a scared animal with their tail between their legs. Frankly I was glad because this is the type of person I do not want in my foxhole. Someone who is not honest or who really does not love me for the right reasons. If you have a friend or partner like this who constantly judges your true life values and passion, shoot them or ship them out to a military camp now!
So the survival ship is in the water now flowing on slow waves and fast ones too. It may slip into a port late into the night or it may disappear on an adventure in the higher seas soon. But one thing is for sure it will never disappear on anyone who it holds dear....