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Lady of the Evening

Updated on June 27, 2013
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As the sun began its descent in the western sky and dipped below the tree line, she began to stir. Stretching her limbs, she raised her head and allowed her incredible senses to search in the gathering dusk for prey. She rose from her hidden location and began to follow those senses in search of her dinner. Blood was on the menu, and she thirsted for it. Blood was her life, and she required at a massive amount of it each and every night of that life. To fail to feed was to die. She had no intention of dying, not just yet anyway. She had a duty to perform.

Coasting through the night on subtle nuances of the wind, she searched. While she searched she thought about her need, her all-encompassing need for blood. She needed blood to survive, but she needed it even more to procreate. Her sole purpose was to have children, many children and to do this she must feed heavily.

She caught a hint, just a singular waft of her prey on the gentle breezes. Adjusting her flight she sped in the direction indicated by her senses. Warmth, lovely warmth and blood called to her. Maintaining her distance she waited beneath the massive limbs of an ancient oak tree for the sun to fully set before venturing out of the darkened woods into the clearing.

She did not have to wait long for the sun set quickly. When she felt safe she darted into the clearing, aiming directly for her prey. Before she could attack, the human stepped into the open doorway and shut the door behind him. She had not been quick enough and her dinner had escaped. She cursed the sun for delaying her departure from the shadows. Had she been able to move just a few moments earlier she would be feeding at this instant. She waited for a bit, hoping against hope that the door would open and she would be invited inside. There was light there, but not enough to dissuade her at this point. She felt the hunger pains intensely, her body demanding she feed, and soon.

Eventually she realized her prey would not be venturing out again this evening so she turned in search of other, more accessible prey. None was within reach of her ability to detect immediately so onward she flew into the night. Soaring on the wind, she flitted through the trees searching, always searching for her meal ticket. Something tickled her senses. She lost it as quickly as she found it, so she circled around desperately seeking the scent again.

There! There it was again! She found it was strong enough for her to locate with certainty and to follow. Orienting herself on the scent she ghosted through the trees seeking that lovely fragrance as she homed in on its source. Through shadows and moonlight she flew, the scent growing ever stronger with each passing moment. Up ahead she saw another clearing and she threw caution to the winds as she erupted from the shadows. There she saw her prey, waiting unsuspectingly for her to dine. Setting on a chair near a campfire was a perfect opportunity for her to feed. She dove, bloodlust overwhelming her every thought as she prepared to attack. As she arrived behind her prey she settled in and prepared to dine….

Slap! Her world was obliterated in an instant.

“Damn mosquitos! Another one just got me. Honey, get me the bug spray, will you?”

What did you think the lead character was?

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    • Infectionstudios profile image

      Steven 4 years ago from NY, New York City

      Wow, love the twist at the end and your description of actions are really good!

    • Becky Katz profile image

      Becky Katz 4 years ago from Hereford, AZ

      This was wonderful and so funny. I loved the twist and the ending. I never suspected.

    • Mr Archer profile image
      Author

      Mr Archer 4 years ago from Missouri

      Thanks infectionstudios and Becky, glad you both enjoyed the little twist. Those "Daughters of Dracula" make my evening time during the late spring and summer hell here in my little neck of the woods. They come out and drive me from my garden and keep the family indoors looking out for the last two hours of the day.

      Take care and many blessings your way.

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      Too funny! At first I thought this was a story about a hungry vampire. What a clever twist! Damn mosquitoes. What purpose do they serve, anyway????

    • Mr Archer profile image
      Author

      Mr Archer 4 years ago from Missouri

      Food for bats is all I can say! Glad you enjoyed this one. Take care Cheyenne!

      Received a notification that my hub was inferior, and will not be featured. They advise it will remain available but not searchable or featured. Oh no! What shall I do? I feel faint with depression at this turn. All I desired was a featured hub! Argggghhhhh!!!

      Ah well there's always the next hub!

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      Yeah, I've been working on my hubs that have become un-featured since the new QAP parameters kicked in. Also working on the ones that were never featured. I've changed the titles to some of them to have a better chance of getting a higher SEO rating with Google.

    • Mr Archer profile image
      Author

      Mr Archer 4 years ago from Missouri

      I've tried a couple of times, but when I go back through them I just don't see what there is to change that would make them conform with these new requirements. On this one I think it's too short for their liking. Hello! It's a "short" story!

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      I haven't changed any of my words, but I've added polls, subtitles, videos, etc. I now have 18 more featured hubs than I had last week. I feel it's worth the effort if it'll increase traffic.

    • Mr Archer profile image
      Author

      Mr Archer 4 years ago from Missouri

      Thanks, I'll give that a try.

    • Marie Flint profile image

      Marie Flint 4 years ago from Jacksonville, Florida USA

      I like the imagery and slow, detailed development of the story. The sentences flow and do a good job of engaging the reader.

      Favorite sentences: Orienting herself on the scent she ghosted through the trees seeking that lovely fragrance as she homed in on its source. Through shadows and moonlight she flew, the scent growing ever stronger with each passing moment. (This, to me, is sheer poetry in prose. Note: A comma after "scent" would work.)

      From the onset, I figured this was either about a bat or a mosquito and wondered where the storyline was going. The ending was too predictable and the last line hit me in the gut. (All that poetry with such hard, stark ending.) Perhaps, just ending with the "Slap!" would drive home the message and retain the mood of the piece. (Something to think about.)

      Very nice, Mike. You've got a good feel for "voice," an element that hard to accomplish in creative writing. There's a lot of talent evident in this little piece. Keep writing and blessings!

    • Isaac White profile image

      TDM 4 years ago from Welcome to my beautiful world, where magic is no longer a myth.

      That was AWESOME!!!! You had us all out of our seats with excitement. 0h boy, what a catch. voted up. :)

      I. White

    • Mr Archer profile image
      Author

      Mr Archer 4 years ago from Missouri

      Marie, I am glad you enjoyed this little story. Your praise (sheer poetry in prose) means a great deal to me. I am sorry it was too predictable for you and that the ending was abrubt. However, I intended it as such. I set out to carry the reader through the woods, flying on the air with the thought this might be a vampire, a bat, a mosquito, a nighthawk but not sure which it would ultimately turn out to be. I do appreciate your thoughts and the fact you feel I have talent. Sometimes I am not sure if I do or not. Take care, Ma'am. Blessings to you and yours.

      Isaac, glad this was fun for you; sounds like you really enjoyed it. I appreciate your comments and am happy you took the time to tell me how you felt. Many blessings your way and have a great day!

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 4 years ago from New York

      My personal opinion? It was great! "Her incredible senses searching for prey" of course after knowing the ending 'mosquito' makes perfect sense, but let's be honest, the entire story reeked of Vampire!! I loved it.

      Voted up, funny (only because of the ending), awesome, interesting and shared.

      Maybe another photo or a quiz or poll at the end would get it featured. This story is certainly worth reading!

    • Mr Archer profile image
      Author

      Mr Archer 4 years ago from Missouri

      tillsontitan, thank you. I am glad you enjoyed it and voted it the way you did. Makes me feel good about my writing. Maybe I'll add a poll and another photo or something to try and get it featured. I am really glad you think it is worthwhile. Take care, Ma'am. Stay safe and blessings be upon you.

    • weestro profile image

      Pete Fanning 4 years ago from Virginia

      That was great, thought for sure vampire! I'll go back and read it again! Voted up!

    • Mr Archer profile image
      Author

      Mr Archer 4 years ago from Missouri

      Thanks Pete. Take care and enjoy the day.

    • Isaac White profile image

      TDM 4 years ago from Welcome to my beautiful world, where magic is no longer a myth.

      Thanks Mr. Archer,

      And your also, very welcome.

      I. White

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Voted up and delightful. Fascinating story and you did it so cleverly making the mosquito out to seem like a vampire. Actually with all the blood they suck they could be close relatives of vampires. Enjoyed and passing this on.

    • Mr Archer profile image
      Author

      Mr Archer 4 years ago from Missouri

      Thanks, Gypsy. I read an article in a magazine years ago where they were termed the "Daughters of Dracula" and I always found that fitting. Only the females are blood suckers, you know. I am glad you enjoyed this little story and thank you immensely for passing it on. Take care and many blessings to you and yours.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Mr. Archer,

      Ha ha! This is too clever! I love what you've done.... sometimes I think I'd rather take my chances with the vampire than those darn mosquitos! What a perfect season for this hub too!

      Up and more, sharing too!

      Cat

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