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Lady Slipper and Night

Updated on April 5, 2013
Wild Lady Slipper
Wild Lady Slipper | Source

Foreward

As many of you know, I rarely do poetry, as I really am not much of a poet. Through the encouragement of another hubber, KrisL, this is my first attempt at haiku:


Sunlight fades

the lady slipper shudders

in a last attempt at light.


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    • aviannovice profile image
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      Deb Hirt 3 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Thanks, KoffeeKlatch Gals! I think when something notable hits me on the head, I will do something.

    • KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

      Susan Haze 3 years ago from Sunny Florida

      Awesome. It brings a picture to the mind. I hope to see more haiku from you.

    • aviannovice profile image
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      Deb Hirt 4 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Thanks, dreamseeker. That one just walked into my fingers.

    • profile image

      dreamseeker2 4 years ago

      Pretty awesome! I still can't write a haiku and I do write poems. : ) Great job! Voted up.

    • aviannovice profile image
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      Deb Hirt 4 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Amen, Colin!

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      I have a 'sway' on nature too. I live 100 feet from a beautiful lake front view of lake erie which looks an ocean with the naked eye - and I see 'God' everyday with the sunrise and daybreak over the lake .

    • aviannovice profile image
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      Deb Hirt 4 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Glad to hear it, Colin. My sway on nature always takes me to places that most people only dream about...

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      Well it works for me, my divine Deb. Please do more - you're very good and just remember one thing - when you write from the heart the mind will always follow. Just be yourself because you're beautiful the way you are. Sending you warm wishes from Billy Joel 'Colin' and his cats at lake erie time 7:27pm

    • aviannovice profile image
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      Deb Hirt 4 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Leslie, it really does look like that, too. Glad that you think the piece is all right, for I might just try another haiku again one day.

    • ImKarn23 profile image

      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      This haiku is brilliant - and you are very brave to try something new!

      good for you deb!

      (i must admit that when i first glanced at the picture- it looked like a giant tongue!)

      Please - don't analyze that..haha..

      up and sharing onxx

    • aviannovice profile image
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      Deb Hirt 4 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Thanks, Alicia. I used to write a lot of it as a teen, until one person never returned my works. Those had been the only copies that I had.

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      I love the fact that a short haiku can express so much. I'm very happy that you're writing more poetry, Deb.

    • aviannovice profile image
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      Deb Hirt 4 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Thanks, Lela! Sometimes, time stands still and we must wake up to it, and share where we have been.

    • CreatePerfection profile image

      CreatePerfection 4 years ago from Beautiful Colorado

      Beautiful, just beautiful. Thank you.

      Blessings,

      Lela

    • aviannovice profile image
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      Deb Hirt 4 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      So much support. I might just give it another whack, Jim.

    • xstatic profile image

      Jim Higgins 4 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

      Welllll, Deb, this is a great one in a challenging form. We hope you do some more!

    • aviannovice profile image
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      Deb Hirt 4 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Thanks foryour support, Eddy, that means a lot to me. The rain will give me the time to be able to strengthen my haikus.

    • aviannovice profile image
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      Deb Hirt 4 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Not too bad for a first try, Martin? I wuill likely do a few of these when I wish to state a strong message. My writing is straight from the heart, so maybe this is another venue for me.

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      A great poem Deb and I hope the first of many more to come. No matter how good your teacher is you have to have the gift yourself before being able to compose your own.

      Looking forward to many more Deb.

      Voted up and enjoy your day.

      Eddy.

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 4 years ago from San Francisco

      Here to support you. I am here to say, This is a strong haiku.

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 4 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Thanks, Jamie, but I can't take all the credit. I learned the concept from a good teacher.

    • jhamann profile image

      Jamie Lee Hamann 4 years ago from Reno NV

      This is well written and beautiful haiku. Keep them coming. Jamie

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 4 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Thanks, Billy. I can honestly say that Kris is a great teacher, and really knows what she is doing.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I can say with no hesitation that this haiku is better than anything I could write. I like seeing your branch out and try new genres. Well done, Deb!

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