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How to Win A Poetry Contest !
Vote for Your Favorite of these Finalists
#1. Ode to Laundry
The fabric and thread of my life is -- in part,
Defined by the tasks that bring woe to my heart.
My labors, my efforts, my thoughts -- though they wander --
are often directed to things I must launder.
Washing and spotting and sorting and pressing,
folding and hanging gets hugely distressing,
And everyone knows that the job's never done.
When I finish one pile, another's begun.
Apparel and linens and towels do proceed,
In orderly fashion, with clothes that we need,
From hamper to tub to dryer to closet.
Every room has its once-worn and causal deposit.
Pondering laundry products, I find,
Causes such agitation in washtub and mind.
With softening agents and unscented bleach
To bring a spring freshness or whiff of the beach.
Managing lint and static cling trouble,
The wash product ads are a tower of bubble.
Do we dare buck the trend, and face naked derision,
Or keep wearing clothes in a decent decision?
Why toil to grow cotton, or toil raising sheep
To spawn our ultimate laundry day heap...
Of socks and shirts and BVDs?
While I earnestly hope for deliverance from these,
I think of the time when the leaves of the trees
provided our aprons --though not very big,
Adam and Eve did not give a fig.
#2. Computer Shopping
Buying online, buying online,
Shopping for anything's perfectly fine
Before I shower, before I'm dressed
In 'jamas and robe is always the best.
Shopping for gifts or just for myself
I can find stuff that's not on a shelf
in any store or outlet shop
and once I get started I don't have to stop
for hurting feet or aching back
While trying to handle each bag or sack
In front of the keyboard with full coffee cup
the virtual stores just keep popping up
filling the screen with things I request
(but stuff I don't need is always the best.)
Virtual stores from here and there
invite me to contemplate and compare.
I don't have to drive or ride my bike
It all saves me time, so what's not to like?
I don't need skates or a motor scooter
when I purchase things with my computer.
A shopping cart I don't have to shove,
Makes it so easy, so what's not to love?
It's awfully convenient, but one thing I hate . . .
After I order, I wait . . . and I wait.
# 3. Larceny
You can steal a glance, you can steal a look
or forget to return a library book.
When you happen to notice the boss is away,
you can call in sick on a pleasant spring day.
Or taste the grapes at a grocery store,
(Tell me you've never done that before.)
You can steal a hug; you can steal a kiss,
Steal away with you love, for a moment of bliss.
Steal an idea right out of the air,
as long as you use your original flair.
But when you use words - a word to the wise
Please don't ever plagiarize.
These are not Carp.
# 4. POLLEN.
The pollen of trees, beloved by the bees,
Wafts over the fruited plain.
It carries forth thoughts of allergy shots.
It's time for the doctor again.
The powdery cloud keeps me crying out loud,
Sniffling and sneezing and shaken.
It stops up my nose when I'm trying to doze,
When I nod - it is time to awaken.
With seasonal fears and buckets of tears
I'm groggy and drowsy all day.
I'm taking the pills and getting the bills.
I hope my insurance will pay.
#5. Death of the Bobatier
(A short epic in the spirit of Jaberwocky, for which you must suspend your disbelief, bewilderment and incredulity. Just read.)
The arnish blayking of the bathe resounded in the Garne.
Its faren tainspag, loudly rose above the pavish starne,
and heening glibly far from knab, the bremsen far and near.
Would gheen and nammer murly more and flee the bobatier.
The bobatier was bobarish, how could it not be, fraith,
His heely hoofdomms dinned the air and made their fears repaith
So globerously large was he, so trasker huge and blain,
They couldn't hope to rophe the slaught and askerize their pain.
With cloudish noss all overlaid a rainly weff imdaired ,
Though doggish pride had held them up and kept them all astaired,
They fled the garne immersed forthwith in faile and steamish tears.
A dooming dash of brightning flash did zern upon their ears
Their Hunsta emerred frotith-like aligt and grabbitaith
Inspeering quarish fortitude and couraging their faith.
He bid them ryne with quare renewed,
A baskishblair and staunch kreefloode,
To rush againt the bobatier and streen the memory and stain
Never to regirsh the Garne or stang the Garne again.
An blanged the bobatier smake thoo his overbeathing franger.
The gartish bobatier lay slain; the Hunsta sherth his blanger.
Which one do you like best?
You may vote for your favorite here. I doesn't really matter which one you vote for because they are all mine, so I will win anyway. I figure this is the only way I could ever win a poetry contest -- Unless all of you vote for carp.
(By the way, the fish drawing is not carp, it is Rainbow Trout, as in its title: "Somewhere over the Rainbow".)
The Prismacolor pencil drawings are mine too, all of them were done quite awhile ago. Please don't complain that they don't go with the poems, because I didn't have time to do new ones--too much laundry.
Besides, I have no idea what a Bobatier looks like.
Comments
Thanks for this hub. The drawings are just great. I vote for the laundry. Congratulation for winning.
Dear Rochelle,
It was all my pleasure. I just Shared this with my followers.
You and yours have a Safe and Happy Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Write me anytime.
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Thank you, Kenneth. Very kind of you to comment.
Rochelle,
What can I say, but "Wow!" You are a God-send to HP.
I love your poetry, imagination, and creativity.
Keep up the great work.
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Thank you. pstraubie48. I think your comment is very poetic.
All I can say is my hat is off to you and others who write poetry. I just am not wired to connect the words that scramble around, swirl around inside my nogging, tripping over each other in an effort to fall onto the page...I read poetry, I enjoy it...am amazed at the poet's ability to create as they do...
Angels are on the way to you this evening ps
I entered poetry contests and never won but your tips are awesome I will try them. Great read, keep these hubs coming you earned yourself a new follower :)
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manatita44, thanks so much. These have been written at different times, but I think "Laundry" is the one I spent the most time on-- possibly because I spend so much time doing laundry. I'm glad i said something nice to you-- it makes sense, since you seem to be very nice. I have had a long day-- keeping track of news about local wildfires, but I will look at your link soon.
Superb, exquisite and beautiful! In fact, sublime! These are perhaps the best rhyming poems here that I have seen on HP. Very clever too. Thank you so much!
I came here to give you a link to a poem that I wrote for you. Perhaps, like most, I was attracted by something nice that you said to me. I actually did not realise that you are so good. Those beautiful drawings that I commented on elsewhere, I believe that they are yours also. I admire their star quality. Anyway, here is my link:http://manatita44.hubpages.com/hub/Engaging-With-Y... In Love and Light.
Oh! The Laundry poem, no question.
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Thank you for your kind and generous comments, Jodah.
Wow Rochelle, I loved all these poems and had trouble deciding which to vote for. After reading "Ode to Laundry" I was sure I'd be voting for that, but then I read "Online Shopping" and chose that instead...but could have gone for any of the others. I did enjoy "death of a Bobatier" though because I like writing fantasy nonsense poems too (I wrote one called Bettlegeise) quite a while back. Voted up. Congratulations on winning the contest.
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I'm not familiar with that site, but I'll take a look. Thanks.
I think Zazzle can be fun, and there are a lot of creative people on there. Believe me, you will not make a living on that site, but is a nice way to share your artwork with a larger audience.
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I'll think about it Sweetie Pie, but as I have said before, doing fun things occasionally is very different than doing them as 'work'. I appreciate the suggestion, though.
I like pastel quality of the butterfly illustration. I also think you should definitely try Zazzle or Etsy, since you enjoy creating artwork.
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Thanks for the vote and share, torrilyn. It's the only way to make sure you win. I'm sure you realize that the idea of it being a contest was a total figment, deciet, concotion and fabrication. Otherwise it was all substantially and scrupulously on the up and up.
Hi Rochelle,
thanks for the tips on starting a poetry contest
i agree that the way you choose the finalists doesn't matter
great information and tips that you have included
Voted up and shared.
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You are further into the wilderness than we are. I respect your ability to go off grid. I know it takes some effort to get set up and to maintain, but it's a smart thing to do.
Well now, I bet you could do lovely things with twigs & acorns :~). Although I know what you mean, as I live totally off the grid, and it takes 20 minutes in perfect weather to go three and a half miles down our trail to the paved road. I drive an hour each way to pick up packages at UPS or FedEx, and it takes forty minutes to get to the mailbox.
Cheers! L.
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Thank you for your kind comments, ExpectGreatThings. I probably spent the most time on the laundry one -- perhaps more time than I spent on the load of laundry that inspired it.
I think you are just hilarious! Thanks for the laughs and for the excuse to put off folding the huge pile of laundry in front of me. Obviously, Ode to Laundry got my vote. Congratulations on winning the contest :)
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Thanks, Linda Compton, for all of that. Living in the woods, as I do, I depend a lot on online shopping. One cannot always give twigs and acorns for birthday gifts, for instance.
Ah, love your art, love all your verse, but just had to vote Computer Shopping as first! After all, it was online that I "met" you, and online that I learned of your delightful book, So What, Saw-Whet? A book which I ordered......online! Now I also recognize the artful enhancements to the photos. So this comment is really all about a vote for you. And honestly, how could I not be a fan of your prosaic take on Computer Shopping since I am an online marketer, too?
Thanks for a very fun romp!!!! L.
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Thank you, Audrey. I am humbled to find that you are a musician and poet. I try to squeeze the words to make my verses conform to a rough rhythm.
Comment is much appreciated.
I am thinking that Larceny should win! Lovely and clever writes--all of them!
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Thank you, so much, Drstabile. I appreciate you risking a cringe to look at these-- and I know what you mean.
Normally when someone says, "Here are some poems I wrote," I get ready to cringe. But I love these. I was torn between Ode to Laundry and Computer Shopping, and I went with Computer Shopping (maybe it was the mention of coffee that got me). Great job. I really enjoyed these.
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(Sorry for the delay.) Thank you, Enlydia, again. I am especially gratified when someone notices this hub. It is very personal and self-serving, but if people are amused or appreciative, it makes me happy, too.
I love your picture of the butterfly...you are quite talented...now I will go back and read the poems.
alright I have read the poems, and I connect with the laundry one having 8 kids...but when I was young I memorized Jabberwocky just for the fun of it...so hard to choose only one, but I did...I love your stuff...and you are uber-talented.
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Thanks for your comment, Jackie Lynnley. I don't draw very often anymore. The fish are rainbow trout. I was never quite happy with the way the tail bent on the top one, but it was fun to do. I did this one for a local contest with a wildlife theme. There were "Feathers, Fur and Fins" categories and my thought was that there would be less competition in the "Fins". I got a second place.
Wow, if you are not making money on your art work, you should be. The fish looks like a trout to me...but it has been awhile since I have pulled one in. Voted up.
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Thank you Susan. It's very kind of you to call it that.
Love your Poetry!
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Thank you so much, dotty1, for your comments. I don't think I am qualified to un-disolusionedfirmltsion any poets, as this is almost the sum total of my "poetry". I will take a look. Thanks again.
hi Rochelle . Wow i.m so glad found your hubs ! Lady after my own heart. I love poems with humour and yours is just fantastic. . Seen as i.m now an avid fan would you be so kind as to over look a forever hopefull and somewhat disolusionedfirmltsioned new poet and offer me any advice? Would be so appreciated. . . I.m also in awe of your art . What a talented lady amazing x x
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Thank you Moulik Mistry. They were fun to do.
EXCELLENT! So down to earth in words and expression, very well done...
this is a very clever hub
All of the poems here are a pleasure to read, the laundry poem summed up perfectly how it feels some days.
You made me smile, what more can I say - except the pictures are so good I never realised till I saw the comments that they were your own work too. Thank you.
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Thank you, fits4life. I appreciate your comment.
They all are funny and true, and I like that, but none of them can compare to the drawings. They are awesome.
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Thank you, Jen. I think I deserved it, since I didn't let anyone else enter.
Well this was a lot of fun! Though I liked the laundry poem, I most identified with, Computer Shopping, so picked that as my favorite. I read them all though and laughed more than once, needless to say. Thanks for the great hub and congratulations on your win. (smile)
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Thanks so much Sara-- yes, I have been watching you, or at least your posts. I appreciate your comments.
Very clever, funny hub! I had to cast my vote for Computer Shopping because it sounds like you wrote it while secretly watching me.
Wait. That has a disturbing sound to it.
What I meant is that it's as if you were right there in my 'jamas and robe with me.
Nope. That's not it either.
Please continue writing while I figure this out.
P.S. Thanks for the laughs! :)
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Thanks a lot, Gus...
I'll try to come up with more-- usually, they just happen and I can do nothing to stop it.
I really appreciate your fan.. er ... followship.
Hi Rochelle... Well, I am late to this "Poem Party," for which I roundly apologize. What fun poems. So well done. I wish that I could do as much with words. With your permission, I am now your fan. If that is not good enough, just pop up with some more poems like these and I will simply read and enjoy them all.
Gus :-)))
I love poetry, but poetry doesn't like me. You're a born poet. You must be a walking dictionary for having all those words by the tip of your fingers. You caught the vividness of the difficulty of dealing with one's laundry in a nice, easy way. I voted for this. I love them all.
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Thank you, Betty Reid.
Very clever. And the illustrations are fantastic.
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Thank You, myownworld. What a nice comment to come home to after being away for a couple of days. I wish I could write more thoughtful and meaningful hubs like you do-- You have a way of mankng people think.
I have spent a good part of the evening reading your hubs...and would have liked to comment on each and everyone of them, except it would have taken way too much time! you're one of the most talented writers I've read on here...and it was a real pleasure just to go through your work. These poems are beautiful too...(and u're an artist too?!)....so thank you for sharing all...!
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Thanks, Blu Ink, they were fun to do.
Loved the poems and what a great sense of humor.
Well, I'm learning. LOL Campbell is my name. That really is a great little story. I love it. ya did good. Roy is red ya know. Ciamar a tha thu? How are you?
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Thanks, ralwus-- I was hopeing someone could translate this... I guess you are a native speaker of the language.
Bobatier, I think I spotted one the other day across the garne. He threw at me a starne and Roy he was in his harish and he stood upon the cairn as I ran through to his baile with me Claymore as his blood ran thru the glen. Ach what a tale ye told lassir. Loved it.
Love your sense of humor and rhythm. Love your keen observations and sense of playfulness. I pick Larceny--who hasn't done something sneaky? As for plagarizing--as writers, we know we can't get away with that one.
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Well-- I almost regretted commenting on your hub, because I didn't know what I was talking about, or else I misunderstood something.
On the other hand-- I appreciate your effusive compliments and am glad you came over to visit.
Thanks much.
I am so delighted that you popped in to comment on my hub which led me to yours, and I have been happily reading ever since. You are clearly a very talented woman! I was pretty darned impressed with your writing ability, and then I found this absolutely wonderful hub. Clever, witty, funny and outstanding artwork... WOW!
I am in the majority (which is kind of strange for me), having voted for the Ode to Laundry, but must say, my mouse was sitting on the Computer Shopping poem.
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Thank you so much, alekhouse. It takes a discerning mind to appreciate that one.
Rochelle I'm so glad I came here. I must admit it's my very first visit to your site. And it was delightful. I loved the poems. You're a woman after my own heart, as every one of them rhymes. Not that I don't like prose poetry, but rhyming just comes so naturally to me. BTW, the drawings are absolutely magical. I will definitely be back for more. Thank you. I voted for The Death of the Bobatier. Loved it!
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Thanks, LadyJet. I wasn't ignoring you I just slipped behing on this one-- just like my laundry,
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Thank you also Doodlelyn and Hipriestess-- I'm Catching up with comments since reading Mighty Mom's procrastination hub.
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Thank You Donna. Thank you Jerilee. I haven't done anything creative for awhile (except cooking). I appreciate you comments.
I won't say which one I voted on, for no reason, but do also love the butterfly picture.
Rochelle, your poems are delightful, your drawings beautiful. You are such a talented lady!
Wrote a poem in the form of Jabberwoccky, if you are a poet, you have to do it.DragonwocckyTwas chilly, in the slippery grovesThe queens slept long beside the knavesAll creatures left the strawberry's in drovesAnd frost froze them in a loving daze."Beware the Dragon Frost, my girlThe fire he breathes from his icy lairBeware the call of love's new pearlAll the naked freeze when bare.She took her twinkly lazer gunthermal charged by solar flareThe little faery craved some funAnd flitted into the dragon's lairAnd, as she climbed the white snow fellThe Dragon Frost could smell her smellCame breathing fire in one big swellAnd the mountain went a shaken!... Well?One, two she screwed and slewedThe ice mounds turned to mudHer ray gun fired, he fell belowMade a river of his blood."Hast thow thawed Sir Dragon Frost?Come to my bosom, "my angel girl"O' twitless faery, wherefore the costWhilst, she turned into a pearl.T'was the god of serpent fooleryWith the warmth of crystal fireAll dragons are just faery baitto make you freeze and spireT'was chilly, in the slippery grovesThe queens slept long beside the knavesAll creatures left the strawberry's in drovesAnd frost froze them in a loving daze.
By hipriestess4u
Hi Rochelle - Wow....love the drawings, and the poems. I vote for the computer shopping one, as my husband is always telling me I will buy anything they advertise! lol. Of course, that's not true. smile. Well, just a little. Thanks for joining my fan club. I'm joining yours now....I enjoy your writing.
Hi Rochelle; I happen to enjoy doing laundry. I never iron, so I guess that is why I enjoy it more than you do. The poems are great and if you do a few poems every day or so or even every week or so, you'll have a book of poems before you know it.
Jet
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Maybe I should have written aabout ironing-- but that is a subject I avoid as much as possible. Thanks for the vote and the comments,2patricias.
I voted for laundry because it made me laugh. Also because I am playing on Hub pages when i should be ironing...
Then I looked at the votes and wished I'd voted for on line shopping. It was a close thing, and in real life I like on line shopping (but hate laundry).
These are good - there aren't enough poems about domestic life.
Your idea of setting up a competition that you will win deserves a prize.
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Dang that dryer buzzer-- I was hoping you would go on.
Thanks so much, Linda.
Having spent the day engaged in a laundry marathan, I was delighted to check-in and find your poem. I voted for that one.
You know, I still can't decide which you do best, write or draw. No matter, you kick-tail at both.
I say, keep trying to publish. Poems, books, whatever. You might not have the inclination, but (in my opinion) you have the indefinable "it," that says, "publishable". The Letterbug concept is a perfect example. Persevere.
The dryer just buzzed...(sigh)
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I'm so glad you are back , dayzeebee. Thank you.
Oh I simply adore the way you put all the humor in place. Doing the laundry will never be the same. I love it. And wow, you're artwork is amazing! hats off to you and a big thumbs up!
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It's been a long time since I lived in an apartment-- but I do remember once when I gave my newly independent son a gift of one of those coin folders with the collectable quarters-- which included the first eight or ten issues. His reaction was "Oh good, now I can do my laundry."
Thanks for the comment.
I love that butterfly...
Today I like #1 best. I did laundry this morning and the dryer did not work properly. I have clothes hanging all over my apartment and they are not dry yet. I had no more change to put them in a different dryer. Ah...the joys of apartment living.
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Thank you, dineane. Not too many vote for larceny-- and actually that was one that came pretty quickly. I thought some writers would think it sent a pertinent message.
Fun! and nice poems - I voted for larceny just because it's near and dear to me (copyright, that is, not larceny) cuz they were all great and too hard to vote!
Excellent hub idea, Rochelle!
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Thank you, Peggy. There seem to be several of us here who write-- and do a little art, too.
#1 got my vote although I debated. I also like your drawings. If you had put them in the running.........am sure they would have drawn some votes. You are a talented lady!
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I'll just share the prize with myself. Well, actually I don't think there is a prize, so that simplifies everything.
What would be the tie-breaker?
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Go with #2-- it doesn't have any votes yet. I would love to be in a three way tie with myself.
I choose #1. No! #2. I can't decide!!!!!!!
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Make an offer I can't refuse? No, I do it for fun, and only occaasionally. My son and my husband are both exceptional and productive artists. Other son is a photographer. Thanks for peeking in.
Excellent! Is the art work for sale?
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Always set up your own contest-- it is very self-affirming. Thank you, Jewels.
Liked your poems. I really did think they were for a contest. Congratulations on winning. Your drawings are lovely also. Very talented woman.
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Thanks much , Frieda. OK you have first dibs on the poems. I have thought of trying to peddle them, but am beginning to think I don't have the inclination and stick-to-it-ive-ness.
Although I self-published a childen's book I didn't illustrate it (not the Letterbug one--that's not published yet) The one about the owl used photos my friend took.
Now see, Rochelle, you are a poet at heart. You ought to have added an all of the above before carp because I did love them all. That last one was a hoot and fun to read out loud. You really ought to be making the boucoup bucks with your drawings lady. I thought my mom was good (she makes loads at galleries and requests). If I write a childrens book, I'm going to have to hire you. (Even if my mom is mad at me cause I didn't choose her. Shh, don't say anything.) =D I'm pretty sure you could sell that poetry to a magazine. If you haven't by the time I / if I start mine, I'd be glad to have them. Way to go! And thanks loads for sharing (pun intended).
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Thank you ,Teresa. I thought that might be your choice-- the heroic epic.
Now I am happy, even if I get no more comments.
I like your drawings, as well as your sense of humor! I voted for the Bobotier, whatever it is -- but all these poems are clever and funny.
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Thanks so much, Zollstock. Laundry is an eternal subject. it needs poems.
You have my vote for rhyme, rhythm, and a talent for laughing-out-loud clinchers! Now who is to say that we can't create decent poetry based on everyday-things? My favorite one has got to be the one about laundry -- maybe because I find much of my days occupied by taking care of this task, and strangely, loving it. These breezy days, I hang my laundry outside (like my mom and grandma used to) and get a kick out of the neighbors' startled looks! Well, I must say, I "don't give a fig" either ...
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