ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Laughter For The Heart & Soul

Updated on May 30, 2014
WHAAATTTT?????
WHAAATTTT?????

ACTUAL LAWS:

The other day, I came across some pretty funny stuff... I don't know why, but I feel compelled to share some of it with you. (I suppose, so you can all laugh as I did, as I don't do much laughing these days...) Laughing is healthy, so try to do as much of it as possible.

Check these out, and have yourself a little chuckle:

(These are actual laws, believe it or not:)

*In Macomb, Illinois, it's illegal for a car to impersonate a wolf.

*In Rumford, Maine, it's against the law to bite your landlord.

*An ordinance in San Francisco bans picking up used confetti to throw again.

*It's against the law in Atlanta, Georgia, to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.

*It's against the law in Chicago to eat in a place that is on fire.

*In International Falls, Minnesota, it's against the law for a cat to chase a dog up a telephone pole.

*It's illegal to catch a fish while on horseback in Washington D.C.

*It's against the law to drive more than 2,000 sheep down Hollywood Blvd.

*Brawley, California, passed a resolution banning snow within the city limits.

*In Tennessee, it's illegal to drive a car while you're asleep.

*Anyone found underneath a sidewalk in Florida is guilty of disorderly conduct.

*It's illegal in New Jersey to slurp your soup.

*A Texas law states that when two trains meet at a railroad crossing, each must come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other is gone.

*It's illegal in Hartford, Connecticut, to kiss your wife on a Sunday.

*It's against the law in Kentucky to remarry the same man four times.

*In Marshalltown, Iowa, it is illegal for a horse to eat a fire hydrant.

*In Tennessee, it's against the law to shoot game other than whales from a moving car.

*It's illegal in Fairbanks, Alaska, for two moose to have sex on city sidewalks.

You mean THIS???

THIS head is a LADY-MAGNET!
THIS head is a LADY-MAGNET!

Top 12 "CURES FOR BALDNESS":

12. BEAR GREASE. Based on an interpretation of the second book of Kings,Chapter 2, in the Old Testament, the prophet Elisha tried to cure baldness by applying bear grease to his head. Bad news for bears: It was a popular remedy until the 16th century.

11. SNAKE SOUP. A popular remedy prescribed by first-century physicians: "boil snakes and rub the broth into the bald areas."

10. ESTROGEN. In the 1980's doctors found that the female hormone estrogen rubbed on a mans scalp could restore hair. Downside: It could also turn a man's voice from bass to soprano, reduce his libido, enlarge his breasts, and produce other female secondary-sex characteristics.

9. DOG PEE. From a pharmaceutical text in 17th-century Scotland came this recipe: "Wash the head with Dog's urine, and you shall not be bald."

8. HAIR IN A CAN. Invented in the early 1990's. GLH Formula #9, an aerosol-based dye with some polymers to frizz up the hair and thicken it. With the scalp dyed the same color as the hair, it gave the appearance of making balding men hair-bearing...at least on television.

7. THE "ZOO" TECHNIQUE. The Ebers Papyrus, the first known medical record, was written around 1500 B.C. and recommended applying a mixture containing "the fat of a lion, a hippopotomus, a crocodile, a cat, and a serpent to the bald area." Alternate suggestions: apply the "burned prickles of a hedgehog, fingernail scrapings, and a mixture of honey, alabaster, and red ocher."

6. FILING IT. A "remedy" used in the 1980's, "head-filing" was a treatment that involved slitting open the scalp and filing the tissue between the skull and hair folicles to thin membranes over the skull. This was supposed to "wake up the follicles."

5. "LOVE POTION". In the 1880's and 90's, French physician M. Vidal used cantharides (crushed insects better knows as the so-called aphrodisiac Spanish fly) applied to the scalp...His folmula combined the crushed bugs with acetic acid in a solution of 90% alcohol.

4. RUBBING IT RAW. A popular baldness treatment during the late 19th century was blistering (vesication) of the scalp. Irratating the area in this manner was thought to produce pooling of blood in the scalp (hyperemia), which provided more nourishment for the hair fillicles there.

3. POP CURE. Cosmetologist Rita Hartinger was the foremost practitioner of the "hair-popping" technique of hair preservation and regrowth in the 1980's. "When you lift the scalp from the bone structure by popping," she says, "it stimulates circulation and nourishes the tissue." A journalist described the sound: "as if a kernal of popcorn had exploded on the head."

2. SHOCK THERAPY. In the 1890's, a German doctor named Seeger recommended the application of frictional electricity to the scalp by means of a special plate. This was rubbed over a dry cloth or piece of soft leather and then over the bald areas several times a day.

1. THE COW LICK. In 1983 John Coombs of Wiltshire, England, was feeding his cow, Primrose, when dust from the feed settled on his bald head. As he bent to fill the trough, Primrose licked his scalp. Eight weeks later, Coombs wife noticed his hair returning. Coombs went public with his story, and people were soon lining up to get their heads licked by cows.

Funny ANAGRAMS

Owls...???
Owls...???

Some Funny ANAGRAMS:

 

DORMITORY becomes... DIRTY ROOM

CLINT EASTWOOD becomes... OLD WEST ACTION

MOTHER-IN-LAW becomes... WOMAN HITLER

ELEVEN PLUS TWO becomes... TWELVE PLUS ONE

DAVID LETTERMAN becomes... NERD AMID LATE TV

WESTERN UNION becomes... NO WIRE UNSENT

THE COUNTRYSIDE becomes... NO CITY DUST HERE

ASTRONOMERS becomes... NO MORE STARS

DEBIT CARD becomes... BAD CREDIT

THE MORSE CODE becomes... HERE COME DOTS

CONVERSATION becomes... VOICES RANT ON

TOM CRUISE becomes... SO I'M CUTER

SNOOZE ALARMS becomes... ALAS! NO MORE Z'S

A GENTLEMAN becomes... ELEGANT MAN

Have a chuckle at ADAM SANDLER...

Buy Comedy here on AMAZON.COM!!!

HA! HA! HA!

Which comedian do you like the best?

See results

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Benson Yeung profile image

      Benson Yeung 

      9 years ago from Hong Kong

      great laughs, thanks.

    • MamaDragonfly2677 profile imageAUTHOR

      Shannon 

      9 years ago from New York

      LOL. no kidding STRANGER!

      Got your link!

    • TheRealTruth profile image

      TheRealTruth 

      9 years ago from Virginia

      "A Texas law states that when two trains meet at a railroad crossing, each must come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other is gone."

      well thats texas for you. www.twitter.com/thehulkster

    • MamaDragonfly2677 profile imageAUTHOR

      Shannon 

      9 years ago from New York

      Bald IS beautiful Maven!!! And so aren't the sidewalks in Florida! (When your riding on it on a horse, tryin' to catch a fish!!!)

      Glad you liked this one! :)

    • maven101 profile image

      maven101 

      9 years ago from Northern Arizona

      Shannon: HAW, HAW, HAW..!!! Loved this Hub...

      When I'm visiting Marshalltown, Iowa I'll be sure to keep my horse away from those tasty fire hydrants, while I'm having my head licked by a Jersey cow that doesn't slurp. By the way, I'll be especially careful not to let my GOLF GAME turn into a FLOGG A ME fiasco....that's Italian for SNAFU...

      Hey..!! Bald is beautiful...you should see my baby pictures...

    • MamaDragonfly2677 profile imageAUTHOR

      Shannon 

      9 years ago from New York

      Ha ha! Thanks Kari! Me too!

      I wonder if the alaskan police have jail cells big enough for moose? (Because we all KNOW that they are trouble-makers, and will just KEEP having sex on the sidewalks!)

    • k@ri profile image

      Kari Poulsen 

      9 years ago from Ohio

      Thanks for the laugh! I would love to see the cat that chased the dog up the telephone pole!

    • MamaDragonfly2677 profile imageAUTHOR

      Shannon 

      9 years ago from New York

      You got me, but they are real laws!

      All I have to say is I'm glad I don't live in Tennessee... I kind of HATE driving when I'm awake!

    • profile image

      LakeFrontDuo 

      9 years ago

      Funny laws indeed. It seems as if some of them would be hard to actually break - how do lawmakers come up with this stuff? Thanks for the funny resources.

      Nice Hub

    • MamaDragonfly2677 profile imageAUTHOR

      Shannon 

      9 years ago from New York

      No kissing your wives on Sundays... lol

      I wouldn't want to live in Washington DC, because I've been getting really good at fishing on horseback!!! (?) LOL

    • Tatjana-Mihaela profile image

      Tatjana-Mihaela 

      9 years ago from Zadar, CROATIA

      He, he, he, you have some very funny laws in USA. For sure I would not want to live in Hartford.

      Thanks and thumbs up

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)