Lawyers Jokes, A Collection of the Funniest Lawyer and Attorney Jokes
When we flaunt off some jokes, we definitely can’t missed about some of the hilarious lawyers jokes in the house. Humor is very legal and our jokes about lawyers are just one of the funniest among our collections of laugh list. Below are the best lawyer jokes I have collected from all the corners of the net. You can have them included in your lawyers joke of the day. Enjoy and have fun. Comment, object and share yours if you want. :) Lawyer lawyer, here we go!
Funny Lawyers Jokes
“When the 30-year-old lawyer died he said to St. Peter, "How can you do this to me? - a heart attack at my age? I'm only 30."
Replied St. Peter: "When we looked at your total hours billed we figured you were 95."
“How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty-eight to bill for professional services.” – lawyer-jokes.us
"There is no shortage of lawyers in Washington, DC. In fact, there may be more lawyers than people." - Sandra Day O'Connor
So you wanna go to Law school?
I know, I know I posted this video in one of my hubs in here but I just love it! It’s so funny though annoying. So here it goes….
Are blondes smarter than lawyers? You be the judge.
A blonde and lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, very tired, just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over toward the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists (as lawyers are wont to do) and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00 and vice versa."
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $500.00."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to the torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question, "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in her purse, pulls out a $5 bill and hands it to the lawyer.
"Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn."
She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and Library of Congress, still no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to all his friends and coworkers, all to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.
The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the blonde reaches in her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
Lawyer Jokes One Liner and Some Q & A
As a response for those who loves one liner and Q and A lawyer jokes in the courtroom, here they are…
How do you get a group of lawyers to smile for a picture?
Just say "Fees!" – Anonymous
A man is innocent until proven broke. – Anonymous
In the USA, everything that is not prohibited by law is
In Germany, everything that is not permitted by law is prohibited.
In Russia, everything is prohibited, even if permitted by law.
In France, everything is permitted, even if prohibited by law.
In Switzerland, everything that is not prohibited by law is obligatory.
Being a lawyer in a hurry, my aunt left for the Regional Trial Court without going over her files. When she arrived in court, she finally took time to read the papers she was to present. To her surprise, she found that her secretary had typed “People of the Philippines versus Immaculate Conception” on all the papers, instead of “Immaculyn Camilio,” the name of the accused. – Jane Tan Yap (Reader’s Digest Asia)
Lawyers Joke Book
If you loved these lawyer jokes, why don’t you grab your own lawyers joke book and enjoy your spare time while waiting for your once again late lawyer. JK Attorneys always have the humor, eh. :)
This is just for entertainment. I love my lawyers anyway. :) Peace!
Lawyers Quotes – the best quotes about lawyers. Read their quotes and sayings and see if you believe.