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Laying It All Out On The Line and Moving Ahead: A Poem of Purpose (Carpe Diem)

Updated on April 28, 2017
Missy Smith profile image

Missy is a unique writer who enjoys inviting her readers into her thoughts through her poetry and other topics of discussion.  

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No Hard Feelings; It Had To Be Spoken

I don’t know if others feel the way I do about bullies, and judgmental people? I don’t know if at my age now that it’s just I get sick of going through it myself? Maybe I’m the only one that has dealt with it all their lives?

I don’t know the answers. I only know what I have been through, and how it bothers me that I’m still finding people that try to do this kind of thing to me. It’s not that I even care about the out casting part, that has been done to me so much through my life; I'm just null and void to the process. I believe what really bugs the heck out of me at this point of my life is; now that I am up in my forties, this kind of thing has become exhausting. I mean, why, as adults, do we have to go through, what to me is, teenage jealousies? It's like being nice to someone's face and whispering behind their back type of feeling.

If you are wondering why I’m discussing it on my hubpage? Well, it is here that I have run across some really ridiculous fake people. I’m not trying to be mean. I don’t even want to point them out. They know who they are, and I just feel that it is a shame that everywhere I go to try to make my own personal statement in the world of writing, there is always several ready to judge and tear me down. My message I would like to express to these individuals is written in this latest poem.

I was very happy to meet some great same-minded individuals here that have indeed become wonderful friends and allies to me in this field, and for that, I hope I can trust that my relationship with those, you know who you are, will continue. As for those who have decided to judge the person I am and the way I write, well… I think you will get the picture in this latest poem of mine. No hard feelings, but I thought I would at least point out that I did get the very insulting disses, and at this moment in time, I should share mine.

Now that I have done this, I’m happy to move ahead and continue my writing journey here. Thanks!

Source

I've Always Been A Fan Of Marilyn Manson; Not For His Music As Much As For His Thoughts, Beliefs, and Artistic Visions

"Dirge Without Music"

I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.
So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind:
Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely. Crowned
With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned.
Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you.
Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust.
A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew,
A formula, a phrase remains, --- but the best is lost.

The answers quick & keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love,
They are gone. They have gone to feed the roses. Elegant and curled
Is the blossom. Fragrant is the blossom. I know. But I do not approve.
More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world.

Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave
Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned."
Edna St. Vincent Millay

I Have No Fear...Carpe Diem

When the time comes for

Me to close my eyes; I will

Not feel scared…


The thought of death is

Now a welcomed intimate

Feeling of no care…


Many times through my life

I have been emotionally

Beaten down…


Picking myself up and

Fighting to keep my feet

On dirt hard ground…


This life I lead has been

Judging, and unfairly

Discussed behind my back…


Those who try to break me

Here’s my warning of your

Lack…


You have no ability strong

Enough to shame me or

Weaken my purpose…


Some of you, you know who

You are, make me sick from

Your cynical divergence…


Hypocrites with sugar words

To all who will take your

Bait…


I assume they must be scared

To tell you about the false

Images you display…


No, this is simply not to

One, it is several who waste

Their time…


Trying too outcast me among

A group, I care not even to

Incline…


You see, as I struggle through

My life with no one to depend

Upon but me…


The darkside became my true

Guise; it’s the me I’m proud to

Be…


This is my own super power, so

I defend it through your

Groans…


The truth into this matter is

Really easy to know. When I

Close my eyes for good…


it will be me who makes it

home. I did not judge, I Plainly

explained my individual tone…


Therefore, Here’s to all you fake

gurus who feel you are above all

the Rest…


One-day Karma will come

around and bite you in the ass…

© 2016 Missy Smith

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    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 11 months ago from Florida

      I'm so glad you liked the ending, Deb. I always wonder how people will react to my vivacious choice of words. lol... However, I am just curious, not bothered. I love being open and honest with the world. Thanks again!

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 11 months ago from Stillwater, OK

      People can be a strange lot for sure. I loved the ending, as it made me smile and say, "atta girl!"

    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 12 months ago from Florida

      That's very nice of you to say, lambservant. It's nice to meet you. :)

    • lambservant profile image

      Lori Colbo 12 months ago from Pacific Northwest

      I was very moved by your poem and the background made it even more meaningful. I heard pain and courage here. I think you are a strong woman.

    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 12 months ago from Florida

      Such a tease, Frank. LOL....Yeah, that's a little better. I'll take it!

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 12 months ago from Shelton

      a poem of purpose.. yeah I kind of enjoyed.. LOL I fully enjoyed it... better?

    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 12 months ago from Florida

      Very interesting Hari. :)

    • shprd74 profile image

      Hari Prasad S 12 months ago from Bangalore

      Stop Stabbing,

      Then hiding.

      Face my eyes, daring,

      If you can, darling. !!!

      Don't laugh or smile,

      If you are sensible.

      Either way, you convey,

      What you are anyway,

      An invalid bully.!!!

      - hari

    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 12 months ago from Florida

      Yeah Jodah, and I believe it would surprise you to know the ones who have unfollowed me. Of course, I will not tell on them. I wouldn't do that. I will say I have unfollowed them back though.

      I totally understand individuality and I don't think it's possible for everyone to like my writing. It's true that I don't like some things I read here. It's not my taste, so I can understand that. However, these people were always supportive, I would be lying to say it wasn't a shock.

      I do respect everyone's own style here. I respect the person for their own way of expressing or telling a story. And so, I usually don't think to unfollow anyone, because I go by the you never know aspect of something; you never know when they will write something that I will like and can comment on in a positive way. I always hope to do so.

      When I think about the subject of promoting individuality, it is the reason I feel so excited to be home schooling my son this year. He was always bored in the same old routine and way of learning in public school. I believe he and I will be able to come up with some fun ways to learn that will promote and expand on his individual personality and likes.

      I hope you never decide to unfollow me if, for some reason, I fall off from commenting as much. Like I told Shanmarie, it's definitely not because I don't want to come here and read all day and comment everyday.The truth is, most days my time is limited and I cannot get to everyone. If I'm able to read and comment on 3 or 4 hubs in a week, that's really good for me. I do tend to pick my favorites each time I have the chance to read, and I make no secret you are one of my favorites. :)

      Thanks for your unfailing support in these years I have been writing here, John. It means a lot to me. ~Missy

    • ladyguitarpicker profile image

      stella vadakin 12 months ago from 3460NW 50 St Bell, Fl32619

      Hi Missy, it is just crazy sometime the way life treats us. You speak your mind that is good. I like to avoid trouble, but if I get pushed hard I'll let the person know. I was a person who has had to depend on myself, so I really don't care what others think. You will probably get like this. Take care and wish you the best. Stella

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 12 months ago from Queensland Australia

      It's funny isn't it Missy..our society, school etc says they are now all about promoting individuality and uniqueness but as soon as someone expresses themselves differently to the norm or says things that makes others uncomfortable they are ostracised, especially online. I didn't know people had I friended you on here. That is tough. I have only I friended people that have never commented on my hubs or I have not seen write anything new in years. Stay strong and always retain your individuality.

    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 12 months ago from Florida

      Hey Gypsy, and thank you for saying what you have here. I think that is another thing I hoped to achieve by writing this. I want others to be brave enough to open up about unfairness and what bothers them. I want to make it clear that all should be welcomed to express in their own way. They should not be judged because it is different than others. Art and expression are about finding one's own unique ability to do so. I believe it is fine if others decide not to like or read it, but they should not be made to feel outcasted on a public platform that is shared by all. Especially when they don't reject others for their unique qualities just one person. It's very strange to do that, in my opinion. Thanks again! :)

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 12 months ago from Riga, Latvia

      I applaud you and your poetic expression. There have been times when I have felt that I had to tread most carefully not to step on any not-well meaning toes. I can understand where you come from and your need to express your feelings. I have always been one to avoid troubles and unpleasantness. Luckily I have just run aground about twice otherwise it would have scared me from the net. Hope there is smooth sailing for you ahead.

    • Missy Smith profile image
      Author

      Missy Smith 12 months ago from Florida

      Hey Shan, I get what you are saying. My main purpose for writing this was to say that if you choose to judge me by individual virtues and style, then so be it. I'll never change for no one. I am dark and light. My light may not shine as bright as my dark personality, but that's me. Like I said I don't mind that they have left, but I thought I should make that clear to everyone here.

      No, I didn't worry that you haven't commented much. I haven't gotten around to your page or plenty of others I would like to read either. I know you have a busy life and so do I.

      I respect the person you are Shan. I like you. A few hubs back when we didn't see eye to eye on something, you said what you had to say. I said what I had to say, and then I felt it was mutually dropped and it didn't hurt either of us. That is what I mean when I say it is refreshing to know that most of us do act like adults here and respect each others opinions no matter if we differ. Thanks for that. :) Take care.

    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon 12 months ago from Texas

      I've come to realize that I can be me all that I want and some people will never see me anywhere close to the person I hope to be and try to be. Or anywhere close to who I really am either, which is probably a mixture of the way I'd like to be, who I hope to be, who I am in reality, and their own perceptions. Sometimes we lose friends we genuinely like, thinking the feeling is mutual - and it seems there is no good explanation for why. There are times I am sure it isnt' for personal reaons. Like you said, we're all busy an have our own lives. There are other times when their actions tell me otherwise. It's especially hurtful when I've felt close to someone. One of those very people once told me to trust people to do exacctly what they are going to do. Funny when someone's advice turns out to be true against themselves, too. But if you were wondering about me, I haven't commented lately because I rarely get around HP anymore to really spend time visiting and commenting with hardly anyone. I barely even have time to write for myself or to publish anything. But there are quite a few amazing people around here still.

    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 12 months ago from Florida

      Hey Everyone,

      Paula I would like to say to you first that the warning you just gave Jodah is the truth. It's the subtle ways they make their disapproval known now. The ones who think they are better than others do not want people to think of them as bullies, they want them to see them in only the "Light. " It's really disturbing sometimes.

      The truth is, I was unaware of the extent of the disapproval here at first. I had stopped getting comments from a few, but I didn't think much about that because I, myself, am very bad at having the time to get here and read and comment a lot. There are so many more people whom I would love to read and comment, but time in this life is limited in a day. If I'm here it's me trying to post something to read that makes sense. lol. So, I didn't think too much when the conversation exchange between these few, and myself wasn't there anymore. I mean, in the past, they had commented the want for me to step only into the "Light" to stop being myself and talking out my darkside. However, after I explained why this side of myself was so important they seemed to be fine and happy; very loving support. I felt they were in touch with the person I was, and I had no problem with their style either. I still don't to be honest, even though I admit to getting bored with nothing but Jesus and the Light talk.

      In my opinion, life cannot consist of simply with these things, and I'm sure it doesn't for these people either. I can understand their purpose is only to write about it though. Maybe it helps them to move along and leave the other unpleasant things behind. However, for me, I like to talk about it all. Every single thing I feel, every vision that might enter my mind. I'm very open in this way. Is that wrong? This is my art of expression after all.

      When my number of followers dropped, I thought hmmm... well, I guess I can't please everyone. Even so, I was still not dismayed by this. I was for sure the people I had connected with here was still on the list.

      There come a day in my curious way that I thought maybe I should check to see if the persons I hadn't heard from in a while were still open to reading my work sometimes. So I checked my followers, and to my surprise, the ones who had not commented were the ones that unfollowed me; the ones, who before, always gave me praise and congratulations for being an individual. Isn't that strange? Isn't it very hypocritical to do that, and then turn around and be disowning of someone's existence?

      This is what it boils down to; I confronted a few; sent emails and asked why, but my emails have not been answered. I will say that I'm not extremely disappointed to lose them as followers or readers, it isn't that which upsets me. What really disillusions me, is that people could be so fake in their words to someone and completely not feel that way at all. It's misguiding and unfair. It is a way to disguise their true personality to the others they are fooling. Don't be fooled. That's my advice.

      Like I stated here in my hub, these types of people, unfortunately, I have run into a lot in my life. I expect this type of thing to happen. It's just, I had convinced myself that hubpages was different. After all, we seemed to be all mature in our conversation; older and wiser, not judgmental and unable to accept others' unique styles. Can I just ask? Isn't that the point of writing? Shouldn't we all have our own style and individualism when it comes to our craft? I don't think it's just me that feels this way.

      This is where it stands; this is why I wrote this hub. As I said before, writing it out, whatever the subject matter is, is a way for me to move forward, and I always intend to move ahead. I hope that doesn't piss some of you off. lol...Well, yes I do. I hope it pisses you off, but just the ones who find it necessary to judge. Hahaha...

      Thanks everyone, for coming here and reading this hub, and for the ones that don't like or have time to particularly comment; I thank you for your support in reading my work and for following it. You all are much appreciated!

      Old Albion, I will look those up as soon as I can, and I'm sure you're right that I will enjoy them. Thanks again, Everyone! Peace and Love, ~Missy

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 12 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Oops Jodah!! Caution, my friend! The old "Sticks & Stones may break my bones.....," was popular & somewhat successful back in the good old days......but alas, this is now the era of bullies & haters.....These lovely creatures have ceased to use "words" and are now literally blasting us with the STICKS & STONES!!! OUCH! Don't forget to DUCK!

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 12 months ago from Olympia, WA

      There has been a subtle shift in attitudes here at HP over the past four years. It was once a very safe place to write, full of supportive kindred spirits. It still is, but through the cracks have wiggled some nasty people with nasty hearts, who only care about stringing together vitriol and seeing how much damage they can do to psyches.

      I choose to think they are the minority. I know I am surrounded by caring and supportive writers, and the others, who wish to hurt, can just suck hind tit.

      Carry on my friend! I'm in your corner!

    • old albion profile image

      Graham Lee 12 months ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Missy. A poem full of meaning from you here. It comes over very well indeed. I wonder if you would read 2 of my favourite pieces, I do read them each day and find comfort therein. Please Google them I feel sure you will like them. They are 'The guy in the glass' and 'Happy the man' Well done.

      Graham.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 12 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Hi Missy, it is unfortunate that you are compelled to have to write something like this, but saying that I totally understand because I have witnessed some of the bullying and unfair judgements you have received here. Just remember the old saying "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." You always have my support and understanding My Sweet.

    • Venkatachari M profile image

      Venkatachari M 12 months ago from Hyderabad, India

      Good piece. It's okay to open up and share your feelings and worries with us. I am always supportive and keep with you. I like the way you express all these things and want you to not feel hurt and alone. Always share your thoughts and feelings and keep moving ahead with a peaceful heart and mind.

      My blessings to you.

    • whonunuwho profile image

      whonunuwho 12 months ago from United States

      Nice work Missy. I'm with you my friend. We shall walk these roads and write along the way. Well done. whonu

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 12 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Missy.... My dear kindred spirit. I am so proud of you, your honesty and authentic messages.

      Alas my wise friend, just as in every area of our lives, the places we wander and people we encounter, our mutual writer's site has it's share of those whose minds & souls are stunted.

      At first they may stir some anger but after a while mere annoyance. The final result of their pitiful & empty existence can only cause us to have sympathy for their lack of true happiness & utter loneliness. The only thing visible about them is the massive void where there humanness should be.

      They should be wished no harm for they themselves do disservice to their own image, day after day, stumble after stumble. Think just for a moment how very sad to have no substance, no pride and lack of inner peace.

      Let them continue to be who and what they are as we rise above and soar far beyond them. After all, someone must entertain and amuse us now and then............Hugs & love to a Woman who has arrived....Paula

    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon 12 months ago from Texas

      I like the last line. I can't really relate to it here on HP because I have enjoyed most of my interactions with people and speak with many of them outside of here. However, I can relate to the feelings you express, mostly from past experiences. Perhaps you are not as outcast as you feel?