ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Letter To My Daughter As Her Birthday Approaches

Updated on December 10, 2016
Gina Welds-Hulse profile image

Student of life, lifelong learner, mother, writer, artist, poet, dancer, musician, and martial artist ... passionate about all of these.

September 4th, 2016

My daughter and I at the annual Caribbean Festival
My daughter and I at the annual Caribbean Festival | Source

I can't believe that you will be 20 years old in just one more day! So much has happened during this past year.

You started college, and finished your first full year.

You became an aunt.

You got your first job. name a few.

It has been a challenging year, but you made it through.

You are becoming a strong, beautiful, intelligent young ldy, one who I am proud to call my daughter!

Dear Siobhan!

Your birthday approaches. You are becoming a beautiful 19 year old young lady. I just wanted to tell you some things in case I forget to tell you these things later on, when I’m tired, or too old that I can’t even remember.

Rites of Passage

Over the last few months you went through several rites of passage, including graduation from high school, and the progression into college.
When I wrote this letter to you 2 years ago, I started it this way, “Right now you’re probably in your room thinking that life is completely and totally unfair. The whole world is against you because there’s not a single person in it can understand you. Believe me, I understand you a lot more than you may think. I want to leave a few lessons for you. Think on these things as you grow older. You may think that life is not fair, but it is still good.” You may still feel so today, but as you grow older, you will see that your outlook changes.

You've grown so much!

You have grown so much since I wrote this letter to you. There were times when I approached some topics with you, you acted as if you weren’t hearing me. As time went on you realized that I’m really trying to help you and guide you and not ruin your life. This privilege does not necessarily come from biology. It comes from the fact that I have been exactly where you are and I have been navigating this life a lot longer than you. It can be tough at times, but remember that I am always here for you, no matter how old you get.

It is true that everyone has a story and every one story is unique, but loss, pain, anger, confusion and sadness are universal. These feelings don’t separate you from the world, but rather they bind you closer to it.

You're one of a kind!

There will never be and can never be another you. You are part of a magnificent community of humans. Humanity at times can be brutal and petty and downright mean spirited but that’s never an excuse for you to be that way. You are so much more and so much better than a bad day. I remember telling you that I am not your friend. However, as time has gone on, we have, we have gotten to a point when we can explore a friendship.

You're growing up and moving away!

When I ask you to do something right now I’m trying to teach you something about success. You’re right. Your room is yours, and I am less concerned with the state of it than I am of the state of your mind. After all, being in college the last few months have shown me that you can do without me…somewhat, that you are growing up and moving away.

Always do your absolute best!

I’m not interested in you getting straight A’s, although that would be great. I am interested in you doing your absolute best. Do the best you can in school and don’t worry so much about what your grades are. Believe in yourself. I believe in you, and so does everybody else in that list of those who love you. You’re going to be great at whatever you choose to do; the only thing you have to do is believe in yourself. Sometimes you do your best and you fail. And you need to learn to be OK with that too. You must learn to be good at college so it will be easier for you to be good at work, and life. Yes of course it is pandering to a system, but everyone, regardless of status has to work within the system, unless you’re becoming a hermit which, let’s face it, is never going to happen.

Strike a balance!

When you become overly concerned with pleasing your friends and making them happy it takes away from you. The balance you learn to strike right now we’ll carry you through your entire life refrain chips can be vital but, you cannot rely on a great friendship to buy you a house.

Don't be defeated by the word "NO."

Don’t be defeated by “no.” You will hear it many times before you hear “yes.”

Character remains after looks are gone!

I really don’t tell you often enough how beautiful you are. Even though you are stunning, I do this on purpose. Being beautiful should never be the most interesting thing about you. A girl who depends on her looks is setting herself up to be a woman lost at sea as she gets older. We live in a world where beauty can and will open many doors, but how you choose to open them and what you do inside becomes about character. Character, moral aptitude, empathy, grace-these are the traits that will carry on your beauty far after your looks are gone.

I love you!

You are getting closer to being able to understand this, and I am also trying to teach by example. Maybe you are understanding. When you look at me all you see is old and mom. Unbelievably though, I was young once, and not so long ago I might add, and nothing you can say will shock me. If in fact if I was to share and talk about some of the things I’ve done it is you that would be shocked. I promise you this, as long as you tell me the truth you’ll never get into trouble. Though I can’t promise I won’t be disappointed.

I'm your greatest cheerleader!

Until you have children of your own, you will not be able to realize the depth in which I love you. I would do anything for you. I am your greatest cheerleader and your biggest fan. The most important thing for you to understand is though you may be convinced otherwise whatever happens in this crazy, upside own life, you will never ever be alone. Keep this in mind.

Life is short. Enjoy it!

Life is too short not to enjoy it. Remember that your job will not take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Remember that elegance, etiquette and generally being a lady is ridiculously important. So is sticking your tongue out, hiding from jungle gyms, drinking wine and knowing how to creatively curse. The balance is key.

You're courageous!

If someone is ever rude to you on the road or in line at the bank, first try to imagine what horrible things may have happened to that person earlier in the day. I know you will be good at this. You’re courageous and kind and know that you never berate a 60 year old man in a gas station or an 80 year old woman in a motorized cart in Walmart.

I saw your courage as you had to deal with my illness over the last few years. You witnessed my collapse and my bounce-back, and how I struggled with it on a daily basis, yet you remained strong. I am grateful and proud of you for that.

Stay true to yourself!

Some days you will have arrived at wit’s end and the amount of rudeness a stranger is exuding may exceed normal levels, and flying off the handle is completely satisfied and justified. This will happen less than we’d all like to believe once you learn how to control your emotions.
Stay true to yourself. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

Don't ever be "too busy!"

When it comes to dating no one on planet earth is ever too busy to spend time with you unless they do not care for you. This is a fact. Don’t let people use this excuse and do not use it herself if you can help it. It is not easy. If your relationship has to be a secret thing you should not be in it.

Believe in miracles! You are one!

Believe in miracles. Get outside every day. There are miracles all around you, and miracles are waiting for you everywhere. Although humanity may fail you sometimes you should still, also, have faith in humanity as hard as that can be sometimes.

Always take time to de-clutter!

Don’t buy stuff you don’t need and get rid of anything that isn’t useful. Clutter weighs you down in so many ways. Also, remember to save things that matter. Burn the candles. Use the nice sheets. Wear fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for special occasions. I learned a long time ago that every day is a special occasion. Things can change and sometimes in an instant, but frame every so called disaster with these words, “In five years, will this matter?”

You have your own style!

One of the things I love about you, Siobhan, is that you are so eccentric. You do not let anyone decide your fashion. You have your own style. Always remember this. Be yourself! What other people think of you is none of your business.

Cherish family and who you are!

You are from a long lineage of Welds. The Welds women are known to be strong, independent determined and stubborn. Do not take crap from anyone who cherishes only a fraction of who you are. Be true to yourself!

Your great-great-grandmother, Lucy Welds and great-great-grandfather, Clement Welds
Your great-great-grandmother, Lucy Welds and great-great-grandfather, Clement Welds
Back row: Ellis Welds (your maternal grandmother,Vincent Roberts (your great-grandfather), Velona Roberts (your great-grandmother....Lucy's daughter). Front row: Grand-uncles Paul and Stan.  That little cutie is me, your Mama.
Back row: Ellis Welds (your maternal grandmother,Vincent Roberts (your great-grandfather), Velona Roberts (your great-grandmother....Lucy's daughter). Front row: Grand-uncles Paul and Stan. That little cutie is me, your Mama.

Be your brothers' biggest supporter!

Don’t just be nice to your brother. Be his best friend, his biggest supporter and his most constructive critic. Be the same to yourself. You will be grateful for your brothers in time and you will need each other one day. Incidentally, you need each other now, too!

Believe in love!

I want you to believe in love. I cannot guarantee that the world will show you love in its most obvious form, but in every moment you will find it if you look hard enough. It might be in the kiss after the goodbye. It might be in the friends who you find solace in after the break up. And it might be the stranger who smiles at you in a gift shop. Do not be afraid to love. It is scary. It makes you vulnerable, but it is undeniably, unequivocally and absolutely worth it. Every relationship, whether that person is with you for a few seconds, a season or lifetime is sent to teach you something. It is never something to look back on with regret.

Remember your values!

You were sent into every moment of your life by a greater life force called God. The lesson you were meant to be taught was given. Find the goodness in those moments, minutes, months and memories.
Remember your values. They are your guide. If something is not sitting well in the very pit of your stomach, it is not for you. Trust that voice. It will not lead you astray.

Emotions come for a reason!

Emotions come for a reason. If you feel sad, cry. If you feel joy, then laugh and smile. If you hold them in and push them down your authenticity is compromised and they get stronger and more intense. You can be a woman who has to be strong and hold it all together, but the truth is it’s not easy to live that way for long. The truth within us is better released. It makes you stronger still to express yourself.

Take everyone's advice critically!

Take everyone’s advice critically. My mistakes will not be your mistakes. You may have better ideas, better ways of making it through the day. Keep the good, discard the bad and be careful with what you tell others. Care for yourself. Care for others. Never pretend to understand the mystery we call life because no one knows all the answers and I don’t believe you really want all the answers.

Happy birthday!

I have raised you to believe in God. God does exist. Carry that faith with you throughout your entire life. God has seen me through a lot and continues to this day to get me through my best and my worst days. Remember, also, that it’s OK to get angry with God. Trust me. He can handle it. God loves you because of who He is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do. I have relished in witnessing your development!

…and finally, Siobhan, always remember that I love you, and am always here for you.
Have a great birthday!

Go back and read all of this again, because it's true!

Don’t believe the negative thoughts and stories that sometimes pop into your head – they aren’t true. Go back and read all of this again- this is the truth!

My daughter and I, November 2016
My daughter and I, November 2016 | Source

© 2015 Gina Welds Hulse


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • jwmurph profile image

      John Murphree 

      2 years ago from Tennessee

      Really quite comprehensive, lots of love and advice here. I believe she will do well and go far.

    • manatita44 profile image


      4 years ago from london

      Ha ha. Perhaps you were there! In this endless cycle of transmigration, spinning and spinning around the wheel of life, we have all done many things.

      I knew what you were trying to say, as it did not flow without impediments. If you put a branch across a narrow stream, it will block its flow. Ha ha. All good. Rest, if you need to. I will look up Lulworth Castle. Peace.

    • Gina Welds-Hulse profile imageAUTHOR

      Gina Welds Hulse 

      4 years ago from Rockledge, Florida

      That should have read..."My FAMILY is extremely large"......not father. lol

      You're right, Manatita. There are members of my family who have very dark skin, but have green eyes. That part of our heritage stays with us. It is one thing my daughter wished she was born eyes.

      I am grateful that I was able to go back that far in my lineage. Love my family. Have you heard of Lulworth Castle in England? That belongs to my family. You can find videos on Youtube. Interesting history.

    • manatita44 profile image


      4 years ago from london

      By Golly! You've gone far back! With all love and sweetness here, let me say that the genes show in your eyes, colour... hair. I have meet some 'whites' where the mixture is clearly visible in their eyes. Point is that ultimately we are all one really, just struggling in different ways and by different methods to be happy. Some know this, others ....

      Thanks for sharing, Gina. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to your daughter.

    • Gina Welds-Hulse profile imageAUTHOR

      Gina Welds Hulse 

      4 years ago from Rockledge, Florida

      Based on research, my great-great-great-grandfather came from Wales to Jamaica. Both my great-grandfather and great-grandmother were from Jamaica. My mother was from the Cayman Islands and my father was Jamaican. From what I understand, it is believed that my father also had Chinese heritage. My father is extremely large, spreading across several countries. There is even a branch of the Welds family in Japan that I've never met. One of three brothers (sibling to my great-great-grandfather) went to Japan many, many years ago, and it believed that he had children. That is the extent of my knowledge about the Japanese ancestry. I managed to trace my ancestry back to the late 1500s. It is a colorful, royal and intriguing heritage.

    • manatita44 profile image


      4 years ago from london

      Oh. Did I ever ask where your ethnic origins hail from? Love to her. I'm sure she senses that she has a truly loving mom. I have written a great deal on the sacrifices of mothers here in lots of poems. Much Peace.

    • Gina Welds-Hulse profile imageAUTHOR

      Gina Welds Hulse 

      4 years ago from Rockledge, Florida

      Thanks, Manatita. We had a little Caribbean festival outing today during which we took some pictures that I will post in this article as an update. It's such a treasure to watch her grow and blossom in a beautiful young lady, inside and out.

    • manatita44 profile image


      4 years ago from london

      Extremely beautiful and invaluable advice. You spent much inner effort here and I applaud you for wanting to see your daughter or indeed children do well. Modern life has dealt us new problems, new stresses or the old ones in varying forms, like the flu, to deal with.

      Reading and re-reading your loving and heart-felt advice can go a long way towards this journey. Glory be!

    • Gina Welds-Hulse profile imageAUTHOR

      Gina Welds Hulse 

      4 years ago from Rockledge, Florida

      Thank you, LipNancy! I really enjoyed writing this piece, as well as looking back on the photos. What a journey!

    • Lipnancy profile image

      Nancy Yager 

      4 years ago from Hamburg, New York

      Once again your pictures make your whole article. Great job with the photography and I hope your daughter has a wonderful birthday.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)