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Letter To My Doctor

Updated on September 20, 2016

Letter To My Doctor

I swear I don’t do illegal drugs or drink

But you say I still need to see a shrink

And the doctor wants me to do his legal ones

He’s got me stuck and stunned

The doctor lying to me tryna take away my fun

While his pocket runs up a check for his funds

Laughing at me, while diagnosing me with anything that pleases his pockets

But everything you say gots me hurt like bones popping out my sockets

Forget the lexapro and the abilify and any other antidepressant

I know I’m nothing in your eyes only a low life peasant

And I know your life is great, it’s super fluorescent

But don’t think I’m stupid just because I’m an adolescent

So take back your drugs because I don’t need them anymore

And I’ll take the side effects like a man, so what I need them for

Go ahead and write down I’m unstable in the brain

Lie to the people and tell them I’m insane

With or without them I feel the same

Nothing can counteract the pain

So what doc? I’m expecting more days of rain?

But I’m just going to take it day by day

I won’t let my soul die and decay

So I don’t care what you say

You're the biggest Pablo Escobar of them all

Scary thing is you're allowed to do it anywhere in the halls

The writing is everywhere it’s written on the walls

Well I hope your business dies and falls

Because you don't me, so stop judging

You not perfect either and I bet you stay misjudging

And did you even know that every 16.2 seconds a suicide happens

So obviously the pills aren't doing its job so what's happening?

That stat is disgusting it’s honestly really blackening

That’s why I stopped the pills and choose rapping

So let me tell you something else that might be flattening

I see you in your new cadillac

Getting rich of me while I’m sitting on the bus in the back

Possibly crying while on my P’s and Q’s ready to be attacked

But please don’t give me no flack

Remember I’m on your “legal” drugs

I’m supposed to be happy and giving hugs

And everyone showing lots of love

But we both know the truth

This stuff you sell to me, saying it’s bullet proof

And it’s going to protect me like a hurricane roof

But I mean look at me I am living proof

The drugs don’t work

On them or off them I still might go berserk

Do you hear me?! I’m telling you the medicine doesn’t work

Still paranoid that any day I can murked

Or is that just another side effect

Thinking of death as my mind hits a wreck

Nobody can keep me in control or checked

Telling me without the drugs I'll definitely go left

But what's wrong with not following everyone's foot steps

I’m me, and I don’t want nothing changing me

Especially your meds, so I don’t care if I fall to my knees

I’m going to do it my way and my body will be clean of your evil

So call me a dare devil an “Evil Knievil”

For not taking what you want me to take, are my ways really that medieval

So stop feeding off my money like a weevil

I’m going to live my life my way

Because on average there's 117 suicides per day

The second leading causing death of my age

And I usually choose to go out by downing your pills you gave me at that stage

...Of my life, so let me hop on my bike

Too poor to afford a car because all my money goes to you, and that aint right

Trying to “cure” me mentally with no time table in sight

Telling me that’s ok, a lot of people live the rest of their lives on pills and they have no gripe

Knowing as he tells me, he sees his pockets getting fatter

So Doctor please skip the chatter

I know all you doing is beating on me as if I’m batter

Inside my body full of pain and yours is full of laughter

As my life is hanging of from the rafters

Nah, I’m serious I’m actually lifeless hanging from the rafters

So my story comes to an end, with no more chapters

This isn’t a cry out for help

I’m not asking for a review of my life

So I’m going to put down the knife

And show you I can live it with with no strifes

I know it’s going to be a fight

But I threw away your poison in the garbage

Before I threw it down my throat because what you're doing is a carnage

Because all your patients are all targets

That’s why I’m getting out your pathway of darkness


*You are not alone with this battle of suicide. A Lot of people go through it you're not alone

And there will be days of sunshine after the days of darkness. Don’t be afraid to talk about

It with people you love. But if you don’t have anybody call this hotline 1-800-273-8255.

Or message me and we can talk. Have a better day today.

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