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Lewd Conduct

Updated on May 7, 2011

Gary Numan - Cars

So young

So driven by lust

Hurried under the cloak of darkness

Trying to complete the mission

Both nervous

Both excited

Both unsure

Seats uncomfortable

Confined space

Neither cares

One thought prevails

Hands on flesh

Breathing quickens

Condensation builds on windows

Clothed bodies intertwine

Lips and tongue on lips and tongue

Lips and tongue on flesh

Pulses quicken

Shirts come off

So close to goal

Bra falls to floor

Sweat builds as bodies touch

Sweat drips

Naked chest upon naked chest

As two mouths interlock

His hot breath across her naked body

They know where this is going

It is not going to stop

The first time for both

But neither knows

Knock, knock

Hearts beating?

KNOCK, KNOCK!

Even louder

Comes from outside

Shining flashlight

Looking in

Night interrupted

Booming Voice

“Come out now”

Quickly dressed

Lewd Conduct?

Not quite

Tickets written

Permanent record

Act not completed

Coitus interruptus

Total embarrassment

Later laughter

Distant memory now

Unfinished business

Constant wonder

What might have been?

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    • Triplet Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Triplet Mom 

      9 years ago from West Coast

      LM - You're my girl its all good!!

    • Laughing Mom profile image

      Laughing Mom 

      9 years ago

      Thanks, TM. I appreciate it.

    • Triplet Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Triplet Mom 

      9 years ago from West Coast

      Paper Moon - Yeah well since it was policia interrupted I could say I didn't either. lol

      Logic - Thats it forbidden fruit and exciting!!

      LM - My puter went crazy sorry I missed the fun now I want to know about the four wheeler and a flashlight. You can't let my mind wander like that its not a good thing.

      Cindy - Shrewd conduct lol thats it exactly.

    • cindyvine profile image

      Cindy Vine 

      9 years ago from Cape Town

      Ah, this brings back memories but we never had the knock on the window, so does that change it from lewd conduct to shrewd conduct?

    • Laughing Mom profile image

      Laughing Mom 

      9 years ago

      Well hell! You two are worse than the boy. I can't leave you alone for a minute--even to pee.

      Nope, still not enough.

      TM--where'd you go?

    • goldentoad profile image

      goldentoad 

      9 years ago from Free and running....

      okay LM- what about a four wheeler, a flashlite and two.....?

    • profile image

      logic,commonsense 

      9 years ago

      A car is more exciting, like forbidden fruit.

    • goldentoad profile image

      goldentoad 

      9 years ago from Free and running....

      PM- You betta take your wife for a drive up in the hills and get some. Nothing is more romantic.

    • Paper Moon profile image

      Paper Moon 

      9 years ago from In the clouds

      I was never fortunate enough to "get any" in a car. Either that or I was fortunate enough to have a room. ;)

    • Laughing Mom profile image

      Laughing Mom 

      9 years ago

      That's what I thought, but you're the one who said it!

      Are you caught up yet? We're ready for the next round. It may be my last, though. They're pretty stout. And 7 beers left in the fridge. Hubby's gonna be pissed tomorrow.

    • Triplet Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Triplet Mom 

      9 years ago from West Coast

      I am not spitting in it!! Yuck! I mean just a splash of sour.

    • Laughing Mom profile image

      Laughing Mom 

      9 years ago

      Don't spit in it, TM!!!!!

    • Triplet Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Triplet Mom 

      9 years ago from West Coast

      I am about to get my third. They are pretty strong all whiskey with a bit of sour spit in for color.

    • goldentoad profile image

      goldentoad 

      9 years ago from Free and running....

      Ima goin to get some Bud!

    • Laughing Mom profile image

      Laughing Mom 

      9 years ago

      Only your second?? You're the one who needs to do some catching up, Tm... We'll slow down and give you a minute. it wound't be nearly as much fun with out you.

      Beer from El Salvador???? You want some of our Petron tequila and Bud, GT?

    • Triplet Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Triplet Mom 

      9 years ago from West Coast

      I am drinking whiskey sours but then again that is my drink of choice. Go get some real beer.

    • goldentoad profile image

      goldentoad 

      9 years ago from Free and running....

      I've been drinking this lame beer from El Salvador, I got it on sale for six bucks for a 12 pack. Now I know why. I am going to have to walk my ass down to 7-11 for some real beer. I drank over 8 of them and all I feel is thirstier.

    • Triplet Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Triplet Mom 

      9 years ago from West Coast

      Hey I am on my second drink right now. So catch up quickly!! I love a good story.

    • Laughing Mom profile image

      Laughing Mom 

      9 years ago

      I'll be  happy to spill Debbie's story.  But we haven't consumed nearly enough alcohol to spill mine yet.

      I think we have plenty lined up, but you are more than welcome to join us. Hubby is holed up at my parent's with the boy. It's just us girls.

      What the hell are we doing on HP????

    • Triplet Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Triplet Mom 

      9 years ago from West Coast

      Oh no LM don't want to start trouble!! Do you want me to send you one of my drinks.

      GT - Oh even cuter its one of your spawn!! I am so excited about that. He is so precious and that face!!

    • goldentoad profile image

      goldentoad 

      9 years ago from Free and running....

      well this picture may be of someone cute but he's a terror and acts like his father too much.

      spill it LM!

    • Laughing Mom profile image

      Laughing Mom 

      9 years ago

      Sorry to disappoint, but you won't because she's now banned from my computer!!!!!

    • Triplet Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Triplet Mom 

      9 years ago from West Coast

      GT - Love the new avatar its so cute. I want to think cute when I think of you!!

    • Triplet Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Triplet Mom 

      9 years ago from West Coast

      Ok this sounds like a couple really juicy stories!!! I must hear more!

    • goldentoad profile image

      goldentoad 

      9 years ago from Free and running....

      Nice conversation goin' on here.

    • Laughing Mom profile image

      Laughing Mom 

      9 years ago

      Maybe Debbie, but at least I didn't make him leave his boots outside in the rain.

      You asked for that!!!

    • Triplet Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Triplet Mom 

      9 years ago from West Coast

      Friend - How come that doesn't surprise me?!? Lol.

    • Triplet Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Triplet Mom 

      9 years ago from West Coast

      I think its hilarious!! No explanation needed.

    • Laughing Mom profile image

      Laughing Mom 

      9 years ago

      And ads for 'Spider Sex and Car Wrecks'. You might need to explain that one to me, TM. Seriously.

    • Triplet Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Triplet Mom 

      9 years ago from West Coast

      Yeah I have messed up my kids for laugh that is for sure. I think its funny that this hub has a score of 69 very interesting!!

    • Laughing Mom profile image

      Laughing Mom 

      9 years ago

      Sex as a medical condition. That's just too funny!!

      I'm pretty sure if you got triplets out of it, someone was doing something right.

    • Triplet Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Triplet Mom 

      9 years ago from West Coast

      BC99 - Why does that not surprise me?! Finishing is the key or the whole experience is completely ruined.

    • Triplet Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Triplet Mom 

      9 years ago from West Coast

      Thank you very much mamahops.

    • profile image

      mamahops 

      9 years ago

      Ha! Reminds me of high school. Great poem, love the way you've written it, TM.

    • Triplet Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Triplet Mom 

      9 years ago from West Coast

      This also might be why my kids think that sex is a medical condition.

    • Triplet Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Triplet Mom 

      9 years ago from West Coast

      Really you think I have been doing it wrong this whole time? That could explain why I have triplets.

    • Laughing Mom profile image

      Laughing Mom 

      9 years ago

      Banging leads to death? Who the heck have you been going to the drive-in with?!?! *HE* wasn't doin' it right!!!!

    • Triplet Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Triplet Mom 

      9 years ago from West Coast

      Randy - Yeah that can be a mood killer.

      LM - Yeah we might need new lessons - I thought banging led to death or else its what happens when my kids got into the pots and pans.

    • raiderfan profile image

      raiderfan 

      9 years ago from Arizona

      you can say it either way bang, bangin', banged.

    • Laughing Mom profile image

      Laughing Mom 

      9 years ago

      I knew I wasn't doin' it right.

    • raiderfan profile image

      raiderfan 

      9 years ago from Arizona

      its bangin'

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 

      9 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Triplet Mom, this happened to me in college. My boyfriend jumped out of the car and cut the officer off at the pass buying me some time to get my clothes back on. Kinda ruined the mood though, I must say.

    • Laughing Mom profile image

      Laughing Mom 

      9 years ago

      raiderfan says it's "bang", but he may be doing it wrong.

    • Triplet Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Triplet Mom 

      9 years ago from West Coast

      Is the right word, "poke" or "prod"? I am really new to this.

    • Laughing Mom profile image

      Laughing Mom 

      9 years ago

      I don't think it's supposed to "hit" you. But I may be doing it wrong.

    • Triplet Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Triplet Mom 

      9 years ago from West Coast

      LM - I like that you are funny its a great quality. Its dumb of me to read anything you write while putting a glass to my mouth or taking a sip. I have learned the hard way.

      I was just thinking sometimes its over so fast you are not even sure what hit you.

    • Laughing Mom profile image

      Laughing Mom 

      9 years ago

      You must not be drinking whiskey sours tonight if you've already lost your nerve, TM. Go ahead, I promise not to be funny while you're drinking anymore.

    • Triplet Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Triplet Mom 

      9 years ago from West Coast

      GT - If its a race I am assuming you win every single time.

    • Triplet Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Triplet Mom 

      9 years ago from West Coast

      I am not even going to touch that one!

    • goldentoad profile image

      goldentoad 

      9 years ago from Free and running....

      I thought it was a race.

    • Laughing Mom profile image

      Laughing Mom 

      9 years ago

      Sometimes, it's over so fast it doesn't really matter.

    • Triplet Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Triplet Mom 

      9 years ago from West Coast

      I would rather no one interrupt!!

    • goldentoad profile image

      goldentoad 

      9 years ago from Free and running....

      I for one, prefer the cop over the parent.

    • Triplet Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Triplet Mom 

      9 years ago from West Coast

      I can never say no to drinks!! When and where I will be there!

    • Laughing Mom profile image

      Laughing Mom 

      9 years ago

      I was going to invite you for drinks, but perhaps.....I'll wait.

      Nah, it's worth it. :-)

    • Triplet Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Triplet Mom 

      9 years ago from West Coast

      Hey welcome to my world. Lol

    • Laughing Mom profile image

      Laughing Mom 

      9 years ago

      Snotted out juice?!?! You just continue to crack me up!!!!

    • Triplet Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Triplet Mom 

      9 years ago from West Coast

      Luckily its still morning so this time I only snotted out juice, not as painful as whiskey. I think I would have peed my pants too!! That is hilarious.

    • Laughing Mom profile image

      Laughing Mom 

      9 years ago

      I love your perspective on things, TM!

      And sometimes you just get caught up in the moment, you know? He stopped mid stream when the cop turned on his lights and said over the loudspeaker, "Put it away, son". I nearly peed my pants, which oddly enough is not considered lewd conduct.

    • Triplet Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Triplet Mom 

      9 years ago from West Coast

      LM - Yeah I think have an interesting perspective on things. lol. And ok you win thats a HUGE threat for peeing!! How could he miss the police car?!?

    • Laughing Mom profile image

      Laughing Mom 

      9 years ago

      "Trying to complete the mission"? That's an interesting way to put it, TM!!!

      Haven't gotten caught in a car, but I was with a guy that got busted for peeing in a parking lot between cars. What both of us failed to realize was that one of those cars was an occupied police car. He got 'lewd conduct' and threatened with registering as a sex offender.

    • Triplet Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Triplet Mom 

      9 years ago from West Coast

      Agvulpes - LMAO! Point taken and agreed.

      Christoph - I wish I would have been sent on my way. I would have rathered that than a ticket.

    • Christoph Reilly profile image

      Christoph Reilly 

      9 years ago from St. Louis

      I read a quote recently that went: "Sex in a car is not good. The IDEA of sex in a car IS good."

      Had the same thing happen to me, and we weren't exactly teenagers. The cop had only the female get out and questioned her about being there of her own free will. He merely sent us on our way.

    • agvulpes profile image

      Peter 

      9 years ago from Australia

      MM, forget the car , there's nothing like sex !!!?

    • Triplet Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Triplet Mom 

      9 years ago from West Coast

      Frieda - I plead the fifth on the grounds that it might incriminate me. Lol.

      Thank you MM. It can be interesting.

    • Mighty Mom profile image

      Susan Reid 

      9 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      Happened to me! Great read! Nothing like car sex!!

    • Frieda Babbley profile image

      Frieda Babbley 

      9 years ago from Saint Louis, MO

      Fantastic poem. So, true story? Nice idea. I'm assuming the kids aren't going to be reading this until they're at least 40?

    • Triplet Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Triplet Mom 

      9 years ago from West Coast

      Janetta - So very true!!

    • profile image

      Janetta 

      9 years ago

      lol every teenagers worst fear. at least it was a cop and not a parent... :)

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