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Life is Seldom Fair: What Are You Going to Do About It?
Sometimes life seems unfair. It always rains the hardest on the people who deserve the sun.— - Unknown
"It always rains the hardest..."
Why I Think Life is Unfair Right Now
This is dedicated to my in-laws.
"Why did it happen to me?" "How come I didn't get that job?" "Does it always have to be me things happen to?" Any of these things sound familiar?
It is so easy to see how unfair life can be. It is especially easy when we have just lived through a series of catastrophes or deaths in our life. I write this from current experience. My in-laws, though both aged, had their lives ended unfairly. My mother-in-law died a slow torturous death by ovarian cancer and my father-in-law, an amputee had a second leg amputated and died less than twenty-four hours after surgery, and just two months after his wife died. Unfair? It certainly feels that way. It feels as if they deserved the sun and got the rain.
Words of Advice on Living
- Many people die with their music still in them. Why is this so? Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it, time runs out. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes
- I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well. ~Diane Ackerman
- The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. ~Mark Twain
- We are always getting ready to live but never living. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
- You only live once; but if you live it right, once is enough. ~Adam Marshall
- Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Being alive is the special occasion. ~Author Unknown
Taking a Closer Look
My mother-in-law was eight-eight and my father-in-law was ninety. Definitely a good age to reach and though the last several years have been plagued with illness, pain, and indignity their earlier lives were rich and full. I look to the unfairness in the way they died. No one leaves this world alive but I sometimes find it so difficult to comprehend the suffering so many must experience before that end.
Dylan Thomas said, "do not go gentle into that good night." Interpretations say he was telling his father, in this poem, to fight death, not to take it 'lying down'. "That good night" is our end, death. So will we leave this world having made no imprint, having done no good deeds?
We have no choice in how or when we die, but we do have a choice in how we live. Living is not always easy and sometimes is more difficult than dying. Are you afraid? What are you afraid of, living or dying? There is no choice in dying. When the time comes or the illness takes over, you die. But what about living? There are decades before you giving you a chance to live.
Every man dies. Not every man really lives.— ~Braveheart
Living; Fair or Unfair
Though my in-laws suffered and did not die a peaceful death, they led a good life. They had six children, twenty-two grandchildren, twenty great grandchildren and four great great grandchildren. That is a legacy unto itself, but there is more. My father-in-law was a volunteer fireman who also helped the people around him by mowing their lawns or plowing their driveways, even taking their garbage to the dump. He was also very active in his church and the VFW (Veteran's of Foreign Wars- he served in Saipan in WWII). My mother-in-law was a member of the Ladies Auxiliary of the fire department and was also very active on committees in her church. Busy people? Very. Helpful? Very. Loved? Very.
They lived their lives to the fullest. When they got older they traveled with the local senior citizens group, making more friends along the way. Their legacy lives on, will yours?
You've heard the saying, "if life gives you lemons, make lemonade"!
As you grow older, you'll find the only things you regret are the things you didn't do.— ~Zachary Scott
What do you think...is life unfair?
Life Gives You Chances
Time to Live
Now is the time to live. Time to take each day and make it the wonderful present it is. I know you're busy, but everyone's busy. My in-laws were busy too but yet found time to help others and to live their lives. Do you?
Stop to say hello to a stranger, hold the door open for someone, put a dollar in the can for the local baseball team. You can be part of everything that's going on around you just by trying and showing that you care. You don't have to get a medal and even if no one knows but you, you've made life a little fairer for someone else.
You may think it is sad that you didn't get to go to college but maybe you can take some online courses if it bothers you. You can't see your old friend because she lives across the country but you can certainly write to her or email her or if you have an iPad or iPhone you could even do Facetime with her!
Maybe you don't have time to volunteer right now but you could give someone a ride on your way to work. You don't have time to work in a soup kitchen but maybe you could send them some soup. You never had children of your own but maybe you could knit some mittens for the poor children in your area who can't afford them in the winter.
What about that vacation you always wanted to take? Is there a reason you keep putting it off? I know money is tight and timing can be difficult but what are you waiting for? Are you waiting for it to be too late because you are too old or unable to travel anymore?
How about that brother of yours? You had so much fun as kids but now there isn't any time anymore. Stop making excuses and make dates to be together. Just have dinner and talk or go play some golf so you can get close again and be the brothers you once were.
I know you're sitting there thinking it's easy for her to say. True, but it can be easy for you to do if you put your mind to it.
Did you notice the picture of the hydrangea bush? It has blue flowers but there is one pink one. The pink one stands out, daring to be different. Will you be the pink hydrangea?
Pres. Kennedy....Life is Unfair
What Are You Going to do About It?
Are you going to let life knock you down? Are you going to go quietly leaving no mark for others to remember? Whether it's your children or a bunch of strangers that remember you, the remembering is what makes you live, and makes your life worthwhile.
Spend time with and helping people. Share your life and your love so that even when life is unfair you are still above it.
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