ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Living in Limbo: My Fate of Neither Being Completely Here Nor There

Updated on June 8, 2018
Missy Smith profile image

Missy is a unique writer who enjoys inviting her readers into her thoughts through her poetry and other topics of discussion.  

Source

An Explanation Into My Twilight Zone

There really wasn't much inspiration put into this poem. It was more like a poem of a day to day struggle in the land of unhappy and void. This one does portray a little of a "want" to it; a want to be happy, and trying to find a reason to live on by looking into a beautiful horizon.

Even so, I will confess that the part about horizon and happiness, however, did come a bit from a clip in which I was lucky enough to run across while I was writing this poem. It was a clip I will post here, and it was of Alfred Hitchcock, of all people, answering a question about what makes him happy. It was a little shocking, but then again, it wasn't really so shocking at all. Hitchcock, being the horror story, off in the Twilight Zone, type of person he portrayed, seemingly had a gentle heart. Not surprising when I thought about how I, myself, have a deep dark side, but also feel that I am a gentle soul. It was most interesting to say the least and did contribute a little to the poetic form of this one. I hope you enjoy!

A Happy Horizon

I’m losing it; I know I am. It’s a scary feeling to want out

of this life fight…


Out of these responsibilities which always seem to fall to

failure made unimportant by the right...


never good enough to hit a mark, or milestone, no single

containment I have known.


And so, I think about my ashes buried deep in waters blue,

where I can finally feel brand new…anew...

(continued)


Source

no guilt or sadness of being alone anymore. Just a pleasurable

whirl of nothing; all hurtful judgments – be atoned.


I would float in my dreams that would at present seem achieved,

now that I had left behind that earthly part of me...


marveling over never feeling this worthless again,

with a total strength - an enlightenment.


Oh, I want this, but I can’t seem to go. I still have this

necessity to carry on, and on, and on…

(continued)


Source

that want to be loved for who I am here, is at this

time a stronger pull than my desire for the afterlife of Zen.


Therefore, until that time, I will continue to long for

that clear horizon, and a problem-free soul.


A breeze, if you will, out of these very sad bones. One

day, it will come, probably unexpected.


I’ve been strong so far, that noose I keep neglecting.

Happiness will be that horizon faraway.


I do, indeed, look forward to the embrace it will

bestow on me someday…

© 2017 Missy Smith

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      12 months ago from Olympia, WA

      I have no point of reference for what you are going through on a daily basis, but I do have loads of empathy, and I do feel for you. I hope this week has some solace for you.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 

      12 months ago from Texas

      Missy, I love your poem, but it makes me so sad

      especially now at this moment.

      I hope that you will turn a corner and find a glorious peace to ease you mind.

      Blessings my friend.

    • MizBejabbers profile image

      Doris James-MizBejabbers 

      13 months ago

      Missy, I listened to Alfred Hitchcock's video before I read your poem and see so much truth in what he said. Isn't it wonderful that he had such a light in the darkness? Your title intrigues me--"of being neither here or there," and indicates a very real state of being.

      But the truth is not to be found in man's religion whether it be Allah or man's twisted version of the real Jesus. It can't be found in books or music because it must be found within. Keep writing your poetry and expressing yourself because as long as you keep your creativity flowing, you are touching eternity and channeling something beyond your human self. You will get there! Namaste, Miz B.

    • lambservant profile image

      Lori Colbo 

      13 months ago from Pacific Northwest

      You always touch my soul because you and I have had so many similar emotional and life struggles. Our minds, when altered by chemistry, chemicals, seemingly endless struggles, or by the terrible things people (especially people we love and who are supposed to love us), lie to us about our worth, our value, our future, about how our Creator sees and treasures us, about His love for us, and His plan for us in and out of our struggles. There is a devil also, not equal in power to God, but nonetheless powerful and he is a deceiver.

      You have impacted so many lives, mine for one, by your honesty, transparency, vulnerability, and a sweetness I suspect is unseen or believed by you. Listen, death is not about nothingness. It may not go along with what you have believed or heard, but death is about eternity. That's not popular in our culture today to believe in eternity, heaven or hell, it's not politically correct, but the reality of it is true. Where your eternal address and destiny will be is dependent on your relationship with God. I am not speaking of zen or Buddah, or Allah, or any similar types of God's or afterlife beliefs the world offers, it's about Jesus. If you study the Bible and ask God to reveal Himself to you, reveal the truth to you with a sincere open heart, you will see a Savior, a Shepherd who loves you without limits or requirements. His death was in our place, His resurrection for our hope and future. Something for you to consider, dear Missy. I think of you every so often and pray for you. Don't give up, because I need you and so many others do too. God is the giver of life, eternal life, and the means to give your life meaning and impact on others. Sending hugs and prayers.

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 

      13 months ago from Riga, Latvia

      Really wonderful poetry.

    • profile image

      threekeys 

      13 months ago

      Missy Smith I felt I wanted to offer a book to read. I finished rereading it today. I saw things differently again. Its an oldie but still an awakener. I hope it helps to move you to a better place. Dont be misled by the title. The authour is David Hawkins and the title is Power vs Force. He has a lot of other titles that may be helpful to you. Its given me hope and reminded me of who I need to be.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)