"Living in a World Of Extreme Loneliness"
"Living In A world Of Extreme Loneliness"
"Living In A World Of Extreme Loneliness"
When I was younger, I learn a great lesson about extreme loneliness. I was married to my second husband but because of his alcohol and his drug abuse it alienated me from him. I guess because I didn't indulge in such debilitating acts. Although, I did drink socially on occasions. I guess you can say we lived in to different worlds. I use to think if you had someone special in your life you would no longer be lonely. I was sadly mistaken and one day my husband told me that he was lonely and he realized that I was lonely too. That was a true analogy ever made and the fact that an alcoholic person made it was astounding to me. When you're living together but in two different worlds you lose sight of each other and needs and wants. That's exactly what happened to us. We both realized the fact that we had a big problem, but did had a clue or a solution on how to fix our loneliness.
When you're living together in different worlds you tend to let things go. Especially if the person you love is involved with things that totally turns you off. This is exactly how we lose sight of the person we love in the shuffle of life. We then find other things to occupy our life and mind, that excludes our loved one. We get involved with other things so we don't have to think about the deeper problems in our lives. This alone is why our significant other drifts farther and farther apart. I now know that you can live with someone you actually loved and be lonely to tears.The reason for your extreme loneliness is because you have drifted away from each other and can't find your way back. Simply because of putting other things first in you lives and this why so many relationships and marriages break up and fail. What you started out doing when you met your spouse or loved one, you need to continue doing it into your future relationship, if you want to keep it healthy and happy.
Believe it or not, extreme loneliness is an emotional killer in any relationship. Most times when the conquest is over, we get to comfortable with the out come now that the chase is over. You begin to live your life with the falsehood that you don't have to do any thing anymore. This is where you are dead wrong. Especially, if you have went out of your way in the past to show someone how special they are to you. When you finally get this person in your life, you stop doing things, like touching and showing your emotions and become cold as an ice cube. What we don't understand is the other person is left wondering. What went wrong and what happen to all the attention that you use to show them. Extreme loneliness is wanting to connect with your loved one and be held sometimes and be told the things that they use to tell you when you were trying to get them in your lives. You have to tell them, Honey we have a problem that need fixing right away because you're tied of only existing in the relationship. You have to tell them about your wants and needs in the relationship or it' going to come to a crashing end.
It's very important that you state your grievances clearly so, there want be any misunderstanding on where you stand in the relationship. Then you will at least have tried to save what's left of the relationship. So now, it's up to the both of you to decide whether it's important enough to move forward or go ahead and bury it because it's completely dead. It doesn't matter how much of yourself you have put into the relationship because the person you love isn't making compromises to make things work out. The truth is if you stay in the relationship you're going to still be lonely and miserable. So, you might not have no other choice but to cut your losses before you end up doing something you really don't want to do and be regretting it later.
Benny Faye Douglass (C) Copyright 2011