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Loose with honor than win by cheating
The English dictionary clearly defines the word cheat-act dishonestly or unfairly in order to gain an advantage.
That I refuse to ever condone in my life, I forbid cheating and lived by it. Although so many people are larger than life today because somewhere they cheated, some people suffer today because they cheated and or refused to cheat in order to excel, it is one fact that circle in our lives and that is why some agree to this saying; “If you can’t beat them, you join them”.
Why should I join them? I argued, you see, our hood is a rough one, there is good bad and ugly and everyone lived by minding his or her own business because a mistake can cost one’s life. The Gangs ruled and I refused to join any gang, no threat could break this principal because losing a brother and three cousins to gang war was enough lesson for me. One important part of me -Jessica; she is the most beautiful girl in this world and the apple of my eyes.
They threatened me so many times and even stripped me naked in two occasions in her presence; It was the Gripes, the most notorious in the hood, but I refused to hide my weakness in the valor of a crowd, they go in numbers, they believe in crowd, none of the so called gang members can stand me one on one but that is by the way.
-Shut up, he shouted at me as I tried to speak
By now there was a 9MM resting on my head and I knew that he will pull the trigger if I make any move so I respected the man with the gun, you see the gun doesn’t scare me but what scares me is the bullet and I wouldn’t want one fired at me so I watched the three of them go one after the other on my beloved, it was the worst thing that ever happened to me and after that fateful day, I could no longer look at Jessica. How can I look at her when I was so weak to defend her, when I would have put my life at stake to stop her rapists? Oh! God, the blame is yours I concluded.
Jessica suffered the trauma associated with being rapped, there was nothing anyone could do to bring the rapists to justice, believe me, there are so many homicides in the hood linked to someone talking or pointing at a rapist; poor me! I refused to seek vengeance by joining a different gang, that will create war which might eventually lead to innocent killing(s) and the belief that one day I will get her justice helped me to be myself and also helped her heal and get over all that troubled her.
We moved out from the hood after securing part time jobs in a town 900kilometers away from home and we moved in together into a small tiny apartment where we lived happily until the completion of our high school, you see, it was just the two of us, we supported each other so that was why I decided to take a full time job while Jessica attend the University, she graduated with first class honor, I was so happy on her graduation day because it was mine as well. Now a practicing Nurse; ‘More money for the family’.
I don’t know where and how it all began but let me simply say that only fools fall in love. You see, Jessica was making a lot of money and that enabled us buy a house, it has always been my dream for us to own a modest house, things was simply merry go round until that fateful evening, a day I cursed, she joined me at the balcony and a look at her told me that she wasn’t okay. I understood from her body language that she wanted to say something heavy for her to say. However, she got her guts.
- “I don’t think that we will continue with the wedding plan” she said
I looked at her as if I did not hear what she said, come again I requested, she repeated the same statement then concluded now with
- “I want you to move out from the house by the end of the month”.
“Are you in sane”? I asked her , that was it, that was the only thing I said then she busted out, she said things I never knew she could say and even called me the weakest link, she remembered the day she was raped and blamed me for not doing anything. Believe me, that was fifteen years back, I was twenty one and she was nineteen, she told me that it was over. You see, my problem was not that we were going to break up rather the cause of the break up. I did not do anything to hurt her, I asked for a reason but she gave me none. Believe me, by the end of the month, I was out from the house, I was thrown out from the house I also labored to buy, I scarified my education for her to obtain a degree and at the end when it was time, she broke my heart.
I would have been the strongest link to her, if I had joined a gang to fight those that raped her or be her hero if I had tried to fight guys high on drugs, armed with guns and get killed or maybe I would have been her Lord, if I had asked her to stay back while I attend the university since we both could not afford to attend at the same time. I cannot be what I am not, no that is not me. Anyway, time they say heal every wound but I realized at the passing of time that my life was passing as well because I could not forget Jessica, my heart was willing to have her back without an apology.
Days past and so did months then years; I lived with a broken heart while she paraded herself in the flamboyance of a drug lord. I knew the guy, he was from our hood and was not the type for her so I tried to stop their wedding. I vowed to use anything to stop that taboo and as it became clear that I was right back in the picture, he raised his gun and vowed to kill. There was a search for the piss of shit as I was tagged then came the blessed day, the day I decided to end the whole hide and seek. It was 4.56pm when I rang the front door bell.
A body guard answered and recognized me but before he could pull his pistol, my ten fingers stock deep down his eyes then came the second and the third guards and both got what they bargained for and finally I was standing face to face with the idiot that snatched my love, the bastard that forced her to betray me, the piss of shit I had prayed to slay the same way David slid Goliath.
- Drop your gun and face me man to man I charged him
Believe me it lasted for about twenty five minutes and by now, all most every breakable piece in his living room has broken and it took five Police men to pull my hand from his neck and the mark of anger of a depressed lover was visible all over him and his neck while Jessica stood in awe. How can I live with losing her? How can he win her by faking love? How on earth would I not defend my heart? No, I set the principal from childhood never to be a looser and I saw Jessica’s attitude towards me as a challenge. I chose to loose with honor than win by cheating and I risked my life by evenhandedly beating three body guards and the most dangerous gangster in the hood to prove my unconditional love for the most important person in my life.
I know that you might be wondering by now what happened after that incident. Anyway, the thing is this, I did time, yes; I needed to pay my dues to the state for
1. Invasion of Privacy
2. Attempted Murder
That was the four charges against me and happy me, the same four charges stopped Jessica from marrying the wrong guy and the same four charges brought back my baby back into my life. How time pass and how years pass, three years passed so quick and on the day I left prison, Jessica was on the front gate waiting for me on a new BMW x6 and on her finger was the same ring I wore her that beautiful morning at club 23.
- “I thought you said you threw that away” I asked pointing at the ring
- “I lied” she replied
We talked for a while then she said “Danny, you fought four guys with guns, what were you thinking”?
- I must be honest I said, Baby, I don’t know what I was thinking but I knew then that I will die and dying for your love is an honor to me, some might see my action as stupid but it is better to loose with honor .
- Do you love me Danny?
- Leave me again then you will know
Here ends my love story but began my family story.