ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Lost in Terror: A Short Story Response to a Creative Writing Challenge Issued by Frank Atanacio on HubPages

Updated on September 4, 2016
Faith Reaper profile image

Theresa has enjoyed participating in writing challenges on HP. It is satisfying to her to try to write in another genre out of her norm.

File: In the Dark Woods (5107954480).jpg  Andrew Kudrin   CC-BY-2.0
File: In the Dark Woods (5107954480).jpg Andrew Kudrin CC-BY-2.0 | Source

One of Frank's Published Books!

Let the Challenge Begin

A challenge was issued by fellow hubber, Frank Atanacio, to his readers to write an alternate ending to his continued terrifying saga of Jenny Camacho in his recently published hubs, which are linked here to the right. I am always up for a good challenge.


Frank issued this challenge after receiving many emails from his readers requesting that he not leave his readers hanging as to Jenny’s demise or her being saved.


For the most part, I am a non-fiction writer, and Frank is a great writer of creative short story thrillers and suspense. I am up for the challenge and have previously entered a creative fiction short story contest here on HubPages and really enjoyed participating in it. I know I will enjoy this genre, even if it is not an area in which I have ever considered writing, although I do love reading thrillers.


Be sure to check out all of the great alternate endings linked on Frank's hub, "Monsters in the Trees." You may also go to his fan page and vote for your favorite alternate ending.



File: In High Wood - geograph.org.uk - 590933.jpg  Graham Horn CC-BY-SA-2.0
File: In High Wood - geograph.org.uk - 590933.jpg Graham Horn CC-BY-SA-2.0 | Source

Requirements of the Challenge Per Frank:

The only requirements of this challenge are as follows:

"1) min. 300 words

2) more description and less dialogue

3) dark and dreary

4) creative/The title must come from a line in the story.

5) an ending to end all endings"

My title, “Lost in Terror,” comes from the first sentence of the fourth paragraph after Frank’s story actually begins in “Monsters in the Trees.” Does Jenny meet her demise or is she saved? Find out by reading this alternate ending and see if beauty can truly be permanently imprisoned as the killer desires!

Source

Suspense Music - Listen While You Read!

Lost in Terror

A terrified Jenny continued to run down the ever-darkening, narrow path which just had to lead to somewhere safe! Her fear fueled adrenaline throughout her bruised and aching body. Each pounding step she ran grew faster and faster but brought a sharp sting to each muscle she used. The path grew dim all around her, and as she peered through the shadows of the tree limbs, she saw the sun setting low. The shadows seemed to leap at her and attempt to grab her as she flinched in horror, stepping back and to the side each time.

Jenny strained to listen for that eerie whistling she heard so close before that made her get running again, but it was difficult to hear for the pounding of her heart beating so hard in her chest filled her ears as she ran. She began to feel lightheaded and a bit dizzy, but she persevered as she knew she could not stop even for one second. If she did, that twisted fiend would be on her and she would no doubt perish at the hands of such a demented one. That thought alone made her suddenly spew vomit from the pit of her stomach through the damp air, which came back on her fast, slapping her own face. The putrid smell of her own vomit now on her face made her gag once again, with her stomach heaving although nothing left inside. This distracted her momentarily and she did not notice the fallen dead branches in the path. She came down hard, knocking the wind out of her. She felt a terrible sting in her left ankle. Jenny laid there in silence trying to gather her bearings.

She listened intently, hearing her own breathing, hard and fast, and then the sounds of the creatures of the night began to surround her, closed in on her. She saw her own breath escaping her mouth. Her mind flashed back to that gruesome scene back at the Ranger shack from where she had just come. Those images never left her mind. Jenny did not understand how just one man was capable of such heinous acts. As the sun continued to set, out of nowhere came maniacal laughter, the merciless laughter of a coldblooded killer. The madman was near!

Jenny grappled on the ground and attempted to get her footing, but then a sharp sting went up the side of her leg from her sprained left ankle. She pushed herself up from a dead log and soon she felt her hand covered with termites. Quickly, she beat her hand against her hip. She grabbed for a hanging branch to balance herself and then reached for a broken one in the path to use as some sort of a crutch. The madman’s laughter encroached upon her while she slowly inched her way through the dim pathway.

Woodland
Woodland | Source

Ahead, the fog rose low and ghostly from the ground. Jenny thought she might be able to find a hiding place in it. Despite the intense pain in her ankle, she forced herself to speed up, all the while attempting to block out the sounds of the strange creatures of the forest and that chilling laughter at her back. As she neared the ever-thickening fog around her, one of her bare feet stepped on slimy, black, cold mud and began to slowly slip downward into a black hole of murky water. Jenny dropped the branch she used as a crutch and desperately grabbed for anything she could while slipping even further down into the dark pit. Both feet now frantically trying to get firmly planted somewhere, but there was nothing but slime that eased its way between her toes. Finally, she grabbed hold of something. It was some type of bamboo of sorts, but it snapped and Jenny now held a piece of it in her hand.

She realized that it was futile to try to walk back up the slimy pit. She knew then she was in a bog. She relaxed her legs and started to doggy paddle, still holding on to the bamboo reed in one hand. Something slithered between her legs and Jenny could not help but to let out a yelp thinking of the Water Moccasins that loved to breed in this type of water. As soon as she let out her yelp, that bone-chilling laughter echoed through the forest. Jenny knew he knew just how close he was to her by now. She floated on her back to the far side of the bog.

He arrived! Jenny knew this for the snorting, spitting and mumbling going on just a couple of yards in front of her. All she knew to do was to hold her breath and go under water, but how long could she hold her breath? She realized she still had the reed in her hand and so she placed it in her mouth and held her nose. Yes, she could breathe out of it! The sounds of the night and the madman soon became muffled under the water. She began to pray asking the Lord God for His protection over her, for she knew He would never leave her nor forsake her. She claimed His promise. Jenny never wanted to remain in darkness ever again. She knew He was the light and oh how she wanted to be in the light! Then a peace fell down upon her, a peace like she had never known before.

Suddenly, Jenny heard a muffled scream and the water in the bog began to move as if someone was violently thrashing about in it! She heard repeated muffled screams, but she dare not move. Then all was silent and all was still. Through the murky water, she could see the moon peering between the trees.

Trees/Moon.  Free gift to me from Jackie.
Trees/Moon. Free gift to me from Jackie. | Source

Hours seemed to pass and then a brilliant light shone down upon her. It was day and she was still alive! Should she dare have a peek above the water? Jenny's head rose slowly out of the slimy water and she peered out over the bog. All was clear. There was no sign of the madman.

Jenny saw some boulders at the other end of the bog that she could climb on to get out of the slimy water. She started back stroking towards that side of the bog and felt one of her legs get entangled in tall grass under the water. She pulled and pulled, only to make the grass tighter around her leg. She knew she had to go under the murky water to pull her leg free from the entanglement. She took a deep breath and went under the water. She could feel the grass wrapped around one of her ankles; thankfully the one that was not sprained. However, there was something else in the water right next to her, something big. It bumped into her, and she pushed it away. She did not know what it was, maybe a dead log or something? Finally, she freed her ankle and at the same time she popped herself back up to get some air, so did the bloated and Water Moccasin-bitten body of the madman!

Jenny let out a blood curdling scream that happened to be heard by a Forest Ranger who was in the forest checking out complaints about fires being set in the forest. The Ranger found Jenny and helped her out of the bog. Once in the Ranger’s strong arms, Jenny passed out from exhaustion. The Ranger called an ambulance to take her to the nearest hospital. Jenny spent a couple of days in the hospital, with visits each day from the Ranger.


© Copyright, Faith Reaper, January 8, 2014

Speckled Wood, Hastings FOSWMT  Creative Attribution-Share Alike 3.0
Speckled Wood, Hastings FOSWMT Creative Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 | Source

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      Well, ( my hands on my hips...) LOL I dunno if it was the music but I felt like I was on a rollercoaster ride.. You my dear Faith have done Jenny Justice.. One saved and one not.. two different endings.. each with a different flavor. I love this heart-racing.. ending Faith Voted awesome.. I'll include it on my fan page later because im on my smart pad.. so I cannot do it until tonight.. but I will also move it under alternate endings with Joda.. Bravo you Faithful son of a gun.. :)

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      LOL, Thanks Frank, I appreciate the awesome. I did go back in and changed it to where she prayed in the section before the last section, and then in the end was rescued by the Ranger, and he continued to visit her in the hospital.

      Sorry, for those last minute changes. I hope you like those as well!

      Hugs, Faith Reaper

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 3 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      OMG, Faith...I have to be "frank" with you...(LOL)

      You keep telling us you don't write fiction, yet I am grateful I can finally take breaths after this riveting, descriptive and well crafted piece of writing. I felt like I was in Jenny's shoes...and was grateful to safely slip out of them in the conclusion.

      I am heading to Frank's original stories...I am way overdue for a visit in his corner. I believe you have met his challenge in a masterful manner.

      No matter what you write, Faith, you are out of sight! Love, Maria

    • kidscrafts profile image

      kidscrafts 3 years ago from Ottawa, Canada

      What a good idea to create a challenge about finishing one story; that shows that with imagination we can have all kind of interesting endings :-)

      Since a while I avoid reading or watching thrillers; it makes me too nervous. The good thing in this case, the ending is short... so I could take it :-) But I was scared for Jenny..... but I could feel that you would not let her down, Faith.... and I was right :-)))

      Thank you for sharing! It was well done! Voted up, interesting and awesome! I love your choice of pictures!

      God bless you.... and have a great day!

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Wow! This is amazing so interesting and with such beautiful photos great writing and you surprised me dear.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 3 years ago from The Caribbean

      Faith, I just read Jodah's chapter. Yours is interesting too. Will there be another chapter about a friendship between the ranger and Jenny? Frank has certainly tapped the imaginations. Good job!

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 3 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Good job Faith. Much different from my ending, which is good, because the different ideas is what makes this challenge interesting. I love the accompanying images as well.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Interesting writing exercise. I encourage all writers to take part in things like this to improve the writing skills. Very nice of you, Faith, to highlight this one. You are a good person my friend.

      blessings always

      bill

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 3 years ago from The Beautiful South

      Very good Faith! Now you have me wondering about the changes though. Did you have a different ending? You mean you wanted to end it with her going off with a ranger that was the killer's brother? Oh that would be too gross!!! lol

      I have read Franks of course and Johns, need to go comment on Franks before I forget! I am impatiently waiting for my chicken to lay her egg, lol.

      Now you can just start giving Frank a run for his money!

    • tobusiness profile image

      Jo Alexis-Hagues 3 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

      Faith, what an incredible write!! The strangest thing, I read Frank's work and started to write an alternative ending in the comment section, then thought no, better not. However; I did write a short story for the fun of it, I didn't realised that Frank had set a challenge, so maybe I'll publish what I've written. You really rock my friend, well done. :)

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Aw, God bless you, Dearest Maria,

      Thank you for the most generous and enthusiastic comments, especially considering your real life terrifying ordeal at the hands of a madman! I hope this did not bring up bad memories of your terrifying ordeal sweetie. You are so brave and I praise God for you each day. I am blessed to know you and call you friend. I do not know of another whose heart is so full of love for others.

      I did have an alternate ending to the alternate ending LOL. This is my original, but this morning I was thinking of Frank's thrillers and thought his readers may like the ending not so happy. I had taken out the part where she prayed and at the very end where the Ranger saved her, supposedly in that version, he turned and starting walking back down the path from where she initially came and was thinking about how she would love it back at that Ranger shack where he and his brother spent many days and nights! Yikes. Then I thought of my readers and I think they would expect me to keep Jenny safe, and that God would protect her, so I changed it back to my original alternate ending. LOL

      You are out of sight yourself and beautiful too, inside and out!

      Love you,

      Faith Reaper

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Dear Joelle (kidscrafts),

      So glad you were not too frightened to read, as you are not normally a reader of thrillers. I am glad you were brave enough to read my alternate ending to Frank's terrifying story.

      Yes, I actually had two alternate endings, one not so happy and then this one, which is my first choice. I am glad you like the ending I finally wound up with this one here, my first draft.

      It is a fun and creative thing to participate in such a challenge, and I am glad Frank thought of this idea. There are many ways this story can end and it is interesting to read each person's version.

      Yes, I knew my readers would expect me to watch out for Jenny and keep her safe and with God's protection of course! I appreciate the vote up and more. You're the best!

      I am so glad you loved my picture choices too. Jackie Lynnley was so kind to give me a free photo, the one of the moon and the trees in the dark night, which is so dramatic and perfect for this piece, at least I thought so. She is a true photographer, great writer and sweet friend.

      God bless you too. Have a blessed day and stay warm!

      Faith Reaper

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Dear Devika,

      Love the "Wow!" So glad to see you here this day reading! I am so glad you like my alternate ending to Frank's story, and that I surprised you. I appreciate your generous comments and glad you loved the pictures too.

      Hugs and blessings,

      Faith Reaper

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi MsDora,

      Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate your kind comments. Yes, Frank has tapped into our imaginations with the creative writing challenge. Yes, I kind of left it hanging about the developing friendship between Jenny and the Ranger, as opposed to my alternate, aleternate ending where the Ranger had supposedly saved her, but started walking back down the path to that Ranger shack where he and his brother spent many days and nights! LOL I am glad I went with my first choice, as I know my readers would expect me to keep Jenny safe and that God would protect her no matter what.

      I hope you make a contribution to the alternate ending too.

      The more endings, the better!

      God bless,

      Faith Reaper

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Jodah,

      So great to see you reading here! Yes, very different and I loved your fantasy ending, very clever and creative for sure. It will be interesting to see how each person's imagination runs with their version of the alternate ending for Frank's story. That is what makes it so much fun indeed.

      I appreciate your kind comments and glad you love the images too. Jackie Lynnley gave me the one with the moon and trees in the pitch dark of night, which I thought was perfect for this piece.

      Have a great day,

      Faith Reaper

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Giiiirrrrrl, you ARE a fiction writer! Don't even tell yourself otherwise! You provided a heart-pounding read with amazing images that put me right into Jenny's shoes. And the music was a fabulous touch. You should definitely do more of this type of work. I could see you creating fabulous faith-based stories, for example, of personal tragedy or hardship that ultimately inspire.

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Dear Bill,

      Yes, I think these ideas are fun and get one's imagination going no doubt! Thank you for reading. I am glad you think of me as a good person. I cannot tell from your comment whether or not you like my alternate ending. I will just assume you did : )

      Blessings,

      Faith Reaper

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Jackie,

      Glad you liked my alternate ending to Frank's story. Well, you know me, being a woman and changing my mind. This is my original ending, but then early this morning I was thinking about Frank and his readers and thought of an alternate ending as I indicated in my comment above where I removed the part where Jenny prayed and at the very end when the Ranger saved her, supposedly, he started walking back down the path to the Ranger shack and he just knew she would love it there where he and his brother spend many days and nights! Yikes. Yes, I am glad I changed it back to my original alternate ending. LOL Yes, that would have been too gross for me too! I could not let down my readers, first and foremost, and keep Jenny safe and for God to protect her, of course!

      Thank you for giving me an awesome photo to use here of the moon and trees in the pitch darkness. It is so dramatic and perfect for this piece! You are a great photographer no doubt and writer too, obviously.

      I know you are so thrilled about your chick laying her eggs! I am thrilled for you. Even the cold cannot keep her down. Enjoy your warm eggs on this very cold day.

      Hugs,

      Faith Reaper

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Dear Jo (tobusiness),

      Wow, thank you so much for the "incredible" and I will take that for sure!

      I know, I thought of writing one in his comment section, but then reread his instructions and thought he wanted us to email him our alternate versions for him to place in his hub LOL. He clarified that for me ...that we are to publish a hub with the alternate ending.

      Oh, please do publish your ending! I know it will be awesome no doubt one bit.

      Since you already have it written, you should go ahead with it and publish it.

      I look forward to it when you do publish it. The more alternate endings, the more fun this idea of Frank's is for sure.

      You rock too, dear Jo.

      Blessings, Faith Reaper

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Wow, Dear Flourish!

      Thank you very much. I have only written one other creative fiction piece before and all indicated then I should write more and now you too, so maybe I need to get a clue and write more fiction! LOL I appreciate your most generous and enthusiastic comments here. You're the best!

      Oh, I love that idea about the faith-based type of stories, where in the end, they inspire and give hope, even through a terrible trial or tribulation.

      I hope you write an alternate ending too. It is a lot of fun and you should give it a try. I know it would be amazing.

      Have a great day,

      Faith Reaper

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 3 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Faith you are a natural. Your ending drew me into a dark forest with fear as a veil. You mught try a story or two or three in this genre yourself.

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Dear mcbirdbks, what a lovely visit from you! I appreciate you reading and leaving encouraging comments. Yes, I might try my hand at writing more fiction as I do receive a good bit of encouragement about doing so from others as well. Being you are such an amazing creative writer yourself, your comments really mean a lot to me. Have a great day, Faith Eaper

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 3 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

      Faith, you are a compelling fiction writer! The detail and imagery is really quite good. I agree with Mike; you might try writing a few stories in this genre. You have an untapped talent here, my friend. :-) Well done.

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Dear Genna, Always so great to see you here reading, especially this day for I know what a phenomenal creative short story fiction writer you are ...one of the best around these parts without a doubt! Thank you souch for your generous comments and encouragement! I do hope you write an alternate ending to Frank's story and I do not see where he has placed a time frame on it. So whenever you have the chance, I know all would surely enjoy your version. Have a wonderful day sweet lady, Faith Reaper

    • EGamboa profile image

      Eileen Gamboa 3 years ago from West Palm Beach

      Wellll, I have to totally disagree with you…you are not a nonfiction writer. Very entertaining! :)

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi EGamboa, Wow, thank you so much! Well, at least not for today I am not, however, non-fiction is what I write most, but maybe I should consider adding fiction as well as I am receiving much encouragement in that area. I am glad this piece of fiction was entertaining for you! I appreciate you taking the time to read and leave an encouraging comment as to my writing fiction. Have a great day, Faith Reaper

    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon 3 years ago from Texas

      This seems intriguing, but having not read the actual story. . .I'll have to go read the story when I have more time and then come back to read your alternate ending. Judging by the comments here, it must be great!

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi shan, thank you so much for stopping by. I hope all is well with you and your family. Yes, please do stop by once you have time to catch up on reading here. I am grateful for all the wonderful feedback for sure! Take care, Faith Resper

    • suzettenaples profile image

      Suzette Walker 3 years ago from Taos, NM

      Wow, Faith, your ending is really great! You did a fantastic job of describing the area, Jenny, and especially the bog. You built up suspense and I was enthralled and engaged the entire time I read this. I was about out of breath, too, reading this. I think you do a fine job of writing fiction. Well done! Bravo!

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi suzette,

      Wow, I appreciate the great comments as to building up suspense and so glad you were enthralled and engaged the entire time you read! Thank you so much for reading and I am glad you enjoyed it and thought it was well done, especially being I am, for the most part, a non-fiction writer.

      Blessings, Faith Reaper

    • ocfireflies profile image

      ocfireflies 3 years ago from North Carolina

      Faith,

      Wow! I am gone for awhile and when I return, I read this awesome piece of suspenseful action. Many Kudos my friend for taking the challenge and making it your own. The music and pics were perfect as well. Hope you have missed me for I have missed you. Still not able to be back on hp regularly, but look forward to when I can return--hopefully in a few weeks. A definite vote up.

      Many Blessings,

      Kim

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Dear Kim!

      I sure have missed you and have been thinking about where you have been off to, but I understand about life and all getting in the way. I hope all is well with you sweetie.

      I look forward to your return and reading your amazing writes!

      Thank you so much for the enthusiastic comments here. Yes, I am a non-fiction writer for the most part, but I enjoy a challenge every now and then and wanted to participate in the creative writing challenge. It is good to try something different every now and then. I appreciate the vote up.

      Hugs and much love,

      Faith Reaper

    • CraftytotheCore profile image

      CraftytotheCore 3 years ago

      Excellent writing Faith! I love your use of descriptive words. I felt like I was right there out of breath with her!

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 3 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      This is a very dramatic and exciting story, Faith! I loved reading it. You did a great job with the description. I'll have to read the first stories to see why Jenny got into such a frightening situation!

    • cleaner3 profile image

      cleaner3 3 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      great work faith .. I was on edge all the way..

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 3 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Voted up and awesome. Faith you had me running with her at every twist and turn. Bravo!

    • BlossomSB profile image

      Bronwen Scott-Branagan 3 years ago from Victoria, Australia

      Just love your ending! It was scary but ended happily.

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 3 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Just came back to re-read, now that I have fully schooled myself on Frank's story and the other alternate endings submitted so far...

      I have to say you 'hold your own', punk, and I intend to stay on your good side (LOL)!

      Love you and have a peaceful night. Hugs, Maria

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Dear Crafty,

      I am so glad to see you here reading my fiction alternate ending to Frank's thriller! Wow, thank you so much for the "excellent" and I am glad my writing made you feel as though you were right there with Jenny. Yikes, now, that would be terrifying indeed!

      Hugs and blessings to you and yours sweetie,

      Faith Reaper

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Dear AliciaC,

      Thank you for reading my alternate ending to Frank's thriller! I enjoyed writing it, and I am always up for a challenge for sure. I appreciate your enthusiastic comments, and I am so glad you really enjoyed reading it. Yes, please do read the stories that prompted this writing.

      Blessings, Faith Reaper

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Michael (cleaner3),

      I appreciate you popping in and reading. I will take the "great." Glad you were on edge : )

      Hugs, Faith Reaper

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Gypsy!

      Thank you for stopping by to read this day! So great to see you here. I appreciate the vote up and awesome, and the bravo too! I am glad my writing had you right there with poor Jenny ... yikes. I would not want to have been there with her.

      Blessings, Faith Reaper

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Dear Blossom,

      What a lovely surprise visit from you this day! I have missed you, but so glad you are here now. I am thrilled you loved my alternate ending to Frank's story. Yes, I had to make it scary to pass Frank's requirements, but then put the Faith Reaper spin on it at the end!

      Blessings to you dear lady,

      Faith Reaper

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Dear Maria,

      You are always welcome as many times as you feel you need to read, punk! LOL hehehe I love Frank and his "punk" kidding around word : ) and glad you picked up on it! You are so good to go and read Frank's stories as well as all the alternate endings, but I would expect no less from you precious heart. You're the best punk around these parts!

      Love you too and much peace to you and yours this night and always.

      (((HUGS))),

      Faith Reaper

    • Romeos Quill profile image

      Romeos Quill 3 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

      Some very gripping and suspenseful, descriptive wordage here Faith, and you kept us embroiled in her drama all the way, as unquenching spots of liquid brume enveloped Jenny in icy abandon, whilst the fetid sackcloth of a forgotten diurnal, cursed by untamed gods, with its unholy anointing, pierced her very marrow as a blood-curdling, unmentionable, minister of Gehenna, bent upon trophying the skin of her teeth, breathes rank murder in gutteral, abomination, taunting her like a merciless willo' the wisp, bent upon possessing her very shadow, as wizened tendrils from a hollow, Celtic goat willow,clawed an unearthly ether, stabbing a capsized cumulus in frenzied desperation, in lone witness of her danse macabre....

      A great X-file Faith; atmospheric background music, and a happy ending! What more could anyone ask for? Marvellous.

      Kind Regards,

      R.Q.

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Oh, Dear Romeos!

      You are such a dear and rare gem here on HP, and I love that fact! You should really consider writing an alternate ending to Frank's story too, which would be so compelling no doubt!

      I am blown away from reading your comment here dear one. I was breathless from reading it. LOL Thank you for gracing my hub space with your wonderful presence kind sir! Thank you for always placing a big smile on my face.

      Hugs and many blessings to you always,

      Faith Reaper

    • Romeos Quill profile image

      Romeos Quill 3 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

      I wrote that as I was hiding behind the settee dear Faith lol!!

      Your piece here was very gripping....will she make it? Your narrative pleaded with the reader to make it all alright for her, and you put your unique twist on the end there Faith Reaper styleee!....as only you could.

      Prefer not to cry havoc with writing, though respect those who can write great thrillers, like you just have. Yet another firm string to your bow.

      With Warmest Regards,

      R.Q.

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      LOL, I know this is not my norm, obviously, but I gave it a whirl and I apologize for some of the graphics there, a bit gross! Had to keep it creepy and dark in keeping with Frank's writing, but did have to be sure to keep Jenny safe under God's protection, as relates to "Faith Reaper's" writings. Have to keep the faith : ) Thankfully, the Water Moccasins loved the bad guy and not Jenny! LOL

      You are really too kind, and I appreciate you more than you will ever know.

      (((HUGS))),

      Faith Reaper

    • profile image

      lovedoctor926 3 years ago

      Your story kept me hooked till the end. Faith, this was fantastic and wonderfully well-written. You should consider this genre. voted up awesome.

    • profile image

      Jill Jackson 3 years ago

      don't know if we are allowed to leave comments since we are not members but i caught this on frankie's fan page and had to tell you that I am really caught up in these endings. I love this one, and im so thrilled to have read this one first after monsters and screams J.J

    • LadyFiddler profile image

      Joanna Chandler 3 years ago from On planet Earth

      Thank God Jenny was freed from that madman!

      Thanks for taking time to write and share this with us.

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Dear Marlene,

      So glad you enjoyed my creative fiction alternate ending to Frank's story! Wow, thank you so much for your generous comments. I normally do not write fiction, but everyone keeps telling me I should do so. I appreciate the vote up and awesome.

      Hugs, Faith Reaper

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Jill Jackson,

      Oh, yes, people from the outside can comment and are welcome for sure. I am so glad to meet you and I am thrilled that you loved my ending. I appreciate you taking the time to comment and you are welcome any time. I am so glad you have left a comment here, as I normally do not write fiction, and so your enthusiastic comment has motivated me to maybe in the future write more fiction!

      Frank writes the scary ones no doubt! It was fun for me to participate in this challenge.

      Have a great day and weekend,

      Faith Reaper

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Dear Jo (LadyFiddler),

      Thank you for taking the time to read and comment to my alternate ending to Frank's terrifying story! I enjoyed the challenge, as I normally do not write fiction.

      Have a great weekend young lady,

      Faith Reaper

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 3 years ago from New York

      Faith you have restored my faith in writing! What a good job from someone who doesn't write fiction...that in itself is fiction for we know you can and do so well. This was great! I, on the other hand, fail miserable in my attempts at fiction but have not ruled out giving this a try.

      Voted up, awesome, and interesting.

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Dear Mary,

      Wow, thank you so much for the encouraging and generous comments! Oh, I truly hope you do give it a try, as it is fun to participate and try something new. Plus, the more who write an alternate ending to Frank's story, the more fun the challenge is for sure! I appreciate the vote up and more. It is interesting to see what everyone comes up with as an alternate ending and how different each one is to make it that much more interesting.

      I will be looking for your alternate ending : )

      Hugs and blessings,

      Faith Reaper

    • old albion profile image

      Graham Lee 3 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Well done Faith. Thrilling all the way. The videos were an inspirational addition. Yours is the third challenge I have read today. Well done.

      Graham.

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hello Dear Graham, thank so much for reading my alternate ending to Frank's terrifying story. Yes, that suspense music video adds to the feeling of terror in the datk woods for sure. I am glad you thought it to be thrilling all the way and well done! I am also glad you are taking the time to read all of the alternate endings by other hubbers. Blessings, Faith Reaper

    • cleaner3 profile image

      cleaner3 3 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      hello again Faith ..

      I am wanting to introduce you to a new poet on the hubs.. she has added you and ..her name is "Creative Novella.". she is an excellent poet and you will love her work and I hope you go see her .. thank you Faith

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Oh, yes, I see she is now following me and I am always thrilled to read excellent poets! Plus with you, dear Michael, recommending her, I know without a doubt she must be amazing and I love her beautiful hubber name too! I look forward to reading her poetry and I thank you for the recommendation. Hugs and much love, Faith Reaper

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Your talents are endless! I only wish I had time to enter all the wonderful writing challenges out there. This sounds like a fun one. Thanks for sharing the facts. Be blessed today!

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Dear teaches, You are so very kind dear one! Yes, this was a fun challenge, especially being I do not normally write fiction. Blessings to you, Faith Reaper

    • creativenovella profile image

      Naomi Novella 3 years ago from New York, New York

      Wow! What an incredible story you wrote! It had me in suspense and terrified for Jenny. I'm glad she did get away from the madman. Very descriptive, you are a great writer. Can't wait to read more of your work. Thank you for following me back. I appreciate the support!

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hello creativenovella,

      Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate the enthusiastic comments. This is not my normal genre of writing, but it was fun to participate in the challenge. My norm is non-fiction and writing about how the Lord has work in my life through trials and tribulations such as His healing me of breast cancer in 2011.

      I am always thrilled to read new writers, especially great poets such as yourself here on HP. I look forward to reading more of your poetry as well.

      Have a beautiful Sunday,

      Faith Reaper

    • creativenovella profile image

      Naomi Novella 3 years ago from New York, New York

      Hello Faith Reaper,

      You could have fooled me...you are a great writer of fiction! Something I hope you do more of. I am also very interested to read of your experiences with God and how He healed you. I'm very happy for you, may God continue his blessings for you and your family.

      Naomi (Creativenovella)

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Oh thank you so much dear Naomi! You are so kind. God bless you and yours, Faith Reaper

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 3 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      I wrote my ending without first peeking at the other endings, and I now see we came up with similar ideas!

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Will,

      Oh really! Well, I will have to check it out.

      Blessings, Faith Reaper

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 3 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Nice work, Faith. The nutcase got his just desserts and Jenny was rescued.

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Dear Deb,

      Thank you and, yes, he was! Hooray for Jenny!

      I appreciate you reading.

      Blessings,

      Faith Reaper

    • cat on a soapbox profile image

      Catherine Tally 3 years ago from Los Angeles

      Hi Faith, I love the chilling imagery: descending darkness, thick fog, black water, & a snake- you've really established the dark and dreary mood requirement while keeping a spark of hope through faith. I love that! This is very well written and kept me in suspense until the ranger rescue- a great read!

      All the best,

      Cat:)

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi cat on a soapbox,

      Thank you so much for reading! Yes, I tried to keep within the requirements of establishing the dark and dreary mood, plus the added requirement of less dialogue which is hard, but I think I wrote it without any dialogue LOL. I am so glad you loved this and, yes, I did have to put my little faith spin on it of course ... or it just would not be mine!

      I appreciate the generous comments as to this piece being well written and keeping you in suspense until the rescue.

      You're the best!

      Faith Reaper

    • profile image

      pochinuk 3 years ago

      Faith,

      "...she dare have a peek above the water?..."

      Trouble if she is found. What a life this Jenny of ours has to live.

      It seems each of us are putting Franks' dearly beloved Jenny in predicaments that call for our help in some way.

      I like that you chose to put music while we read; I was going to do that, but like yourself, I am not a fiction writer by proclamation; so I did not want to get too glossy with my hub; I think later I may add that... tasteful addition!

      You did, the ranger! great ending.

      pochinuk

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hello pochinuk,

      So nice to meet you and thank you for reading! Yes, poor Jenny is being swept through all sorts of different adventures with all of our various alternate endings. I have enjoyed reading all of them so far, and I must find your alternate ending and read as well! Yes, I thought the music would add a bit of suspense while reading and I am glad I added it.

      I really enjoyed writing in this genre as it is something different than my norm, although I have participated in one other creative writing contest here and that was great fun. I am delighted that many encouraged me to write more fiction, so I will see.

      I appreciate the great comments.

      Have a wonderful evening,

      Faith Reaper

    • lifegate profile image

      William Kovacic 3 years ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      Hi Faith,

      Just catching up on all the hubs I've never been notified of. It's really irritating. Anyway, all I can say is Wonderful! Wonderful! Wonderful! You did a fantastic job and I'm glad I found it.

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Dear Bill ( lifegate), well, my goodness, I cannot believe your notifications problem is still a problem! That has been going on for a spell. I am glad you found your way to my fictional piece here. Wow, I appreciate the triple "wonderfuls"!!! Thank you so much for your generous comments. I do hope your problem is remedied quickly. I hope we have been receiving notifications when you publish! God bless, Faith Reaper

    • MG Singh profile image

      MG Singh 3 years ago from Singapore

      An interesting hub, one that appeals to me

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 3 years ago from SW England

      You say you're not a fiction writer? Well, you could've fooled me; you create foreboding atmosphere and suspense so well and my heart was racing with hers! Great story! Ann

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hello MG Singh,

      Thank you so much for reading and I am glad this genre of writing appeals to you. It really is not my norm, but I wanted to join in the creative writing challenge.

      Blessings,

      Faith Reaper

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Ann,

      Wow, thank you so much for the most generous comments. So glad it was filled with suspense for you! That was my goal. I may need to give writing fiction more often a try.

      I appreciate you reading.

      Have a great week,

      Faith Reaper

    • profile image

      Jane Arden 3 years ago

      My goodness. How can you say that you're not a fiction writer!! I was absolutely glued till the end. It was filled with such suspense and I love that. Also the fantastic twist at the end. It was a happy ending and I really didn't expect this. I have read many of Franks endings. This is one of the best ones!

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Jane,

      Wow, thank you so much for the encouraging and most generous comments! I appreciate you taking the time to read. Well, maybe I should try my hand at fiction a bit more.

      I am humbled my your comments.

      Blessings,

      Faith Reaper

    • Anna Haven profile image

      Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

      I was concerned when she twisted her ankle, I liked the bamboo lifeline and I was very glad when the bad lad met a fitting end. :)

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Anna,

      Thank you so much for stopping by to read. Yes, me too about the bad lad : )

      Blessings always

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Wow i was glued to my seat while reading this horrifying tale of fear and madness. Very creative, especially the bamboo reed. The thought of being in slimy water with snakes was the pinnacle of fear for me. Well done. Thank you.....

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Ruby (always exploring),

      Thank you so much for the enthusiastic comments, as they mean so much, especially being this is not my usual genre of writing ... on the dark side. However, I cannot pass up a challenge, especially when issued by Frank hee hee.

      It was a lot of fun to say this least and allowed me to stretch my creative writing side a bit as I am a non-fiction writer for the most part.

      That was the intent to create a great sense of fear. I appreciate your most generous comments.

      Have a great day.

      Blessings always

    • brakel2 profile image

      Audrey Selig 2 years ago from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

      Hi Faith. What fantastic description from beginning to end. The surprise ending shocked.me and scared me. You lived up to the requirements of this assignment. I love reading your work and now know you can write about anything. Pinning this scary ending and so good to stop by. Blessings. Audrey

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Audrey,

      Thank you for visiting my terror! Oh, wow, I appreciate you stating that so much for this is not my usual genre of writing. It certainly was so much fun to participate in such a challenge. I tried to create suspense.

      You are so kind to pin!

      Blessings always to you too

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 2 years ago from sunny Florida

      Quite an ending Faith...the power of determination and FAITH lead her to survive ...I could feel the struggle which made it real to me...especially when she had to enter the water...how scary that would be.

      Of course now I must go read and perhaps write on this topic too. Generally I only write non fiction as well but have entered a few of these challenges of late.

      Wishing a wonderful Thursday to you.

      Many many Angels and blessings and much positive energy is on the way.

      ps

      Voted up++++ and shared

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Dear PS,

      Thank you much for the wonderful comments. Yes, I write non-fiction too for the most part, but I sure did enjoy joining in Frank's challenge and stepping out of my comfort zone.

      I tried my best to create a lot of suspense using my words.

      Blessings to you and yours always and sending many Angels your way, sweet woman.

      I appreciate the vote up and more and share

      You're the best!

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 14 months ago from Texas

      Wow, what a story! I think I would just die if I stepped into the bog and I just picture the slime and mud. Glad Jenny was rescued, but now she is on the run again. This is awesome.

      Have a blessed day.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 14 months ago from Shelton

      Just had to reread this piece again since Shyron brought it back to life..:)

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 14 months ago from southern USA

      Hi Shyron,

      Thank you for taking the time to check out my alternative ending to Frank's terrifying story. Your alternate ending is great, especially how you set the scene with all those creepy vines.

      I appreciate the awesome.

      Frank came up with a fun challenge here with many participating and contributing so many amazing and unique alternate endings.

      Peace and blessings to you and yours

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 14 months ago from southern USA

      Hi there, the Man of the Hour, Frank!

      Yes, Shyron sure did. Maybe a whole new set of alternate endings will be published. That would be cool. If was a cool challenge you issued two years ago. I can't believe it has been two years already.

      I know I enjoyed participating back then, especially being it was not my usual genre in which I write. You sure got our creative juices flowing with this challenge.

      Hugs

    Click to Rate This Article