Blinded by his looks and amazing personality,
I started dating a guy who I met on a website.
He didn’t live far from me, just by the sea,
And after a while he was the biggest love in my life.
I was over the moon that he wanted to be with me,
After dating for three months he asked me to live with him.
Friends thought it too fast, but I carried on obliviously,
We found a place, and couldn’t wait to move in!
Our lives together were so much fun at the start,
But then I felt forced into bringing in some money.
I was on benefits so a sufficient income was hard.
I found part time work, but alas he was still not pleased.
He kept leaving the front door open for anyone to walk in,
He washed my delicate lingerie on a hot wash with his chef whites.
He took my money and sold some of my things,
He was flirting with lots of other women where we met; Facebook website.
He got angry with me when I said: "leaving the door open was careless."
He went abroad together with an ex girlfriend, pretending it was her birthday.
He wasn’t turned on when I dressed up sexily, so I sat in our flat looking a mess,
Our sex life stopped some time in May, I don’t remember the exact day.
The last day of our sex life was the worst I’ve ever known,
He raped me and I couldn’t stop him, I was far too scared.
He was much stronger than me, I was afraid to say “no,”
I cried and cried with my eyes closed tight. I ran to the bathroom after, and saw how much I’d bled.
We hardly communicated from that day on,
He was sleeping on the sofa and working longer hours.
He was rude and arrogant, and hated it when I told him so,
One day I made up my mind to leave him, I just had to plan out how.
I decided to wait for his next day off and end it calmly and maturely,
A day later I received a text message saying he was fed up of me having a go at him, and he wanted me to leave him alone.
That was fine, I wanted to end it anyway! He was the first guy to dump me, but I was happy!
I was there still a month later until I could move back home.
That whole month was in silence, we didn’t even speak on the phone. It was like we lived alone,
I knew he was planning to go home to Martinique, to see his family, the week before I moved out.
The day before he was due to leave he rang me in desperate need of the number of his ex girlfriend, asking if I still had it on my phone,
That made me incredibly curious as to the urgency and I found in with his tickets were some for her aswell.
I just laughed, and thought to myself, you utter bastard, you don't know how to care,
After everything you have put me through, I now find this out!
He’d clearly been cheating on me for months. I just didn’t want to be aware,
He was a rebound relationship, a huge mistake, I have no doubt.
I was blinded by him, but now I see,
And I empathise with everyone who has been in a blinding relationship like me.