- Books, Literature, and Writing
Love Conquers All: A Misguided Phrase to Some (Prose & Poetry)
I'm Talking From My Experience Only
Love conquers all. It’s a nice sentiment to say, and if you feel that’s been the truth in your life, then I say kudos to you. However, those three little words, for me, bring up many questions since I have not seen it conquer anything in my life yet in the form of a true partnership. Matter of fact, I’m not even sure the times it was supposed to be happening in my life, that it was actually really taking place.
Love can be so one-sided. Don't you think? Again, maybe you don’t know this of which I speak of. You may have had a marriage that has lasted through the test of time. Not perfectly, but sequenced behind that little beginning phrase I wrote; Love Conquers All. It has stood the many tests of sins; lust for others being the biggest, and so you will be a blessed couple who holds hands at the end of your lives and dies within days of one another. It’s a beautiful thing, and all the best to the ones who are living the LOVE DREAM. Truly…I’m happy for you, and I mean that.
However, what about the others like me, can I just respectfully ask with the utmost kindness I can muster within my heart; Please just stop branding that b*llsh*t on us? At a point in some of our lives, we don’t want to continue to believe that stuff anymore. We would much rather rally in the fact that, for some reason, God made us in a different accord than the norm. Can we have something to hang onto please, and without judgement? After all, speaking for myself, I have no more expectations of a happy family life. I tried. It's over. I have my children whom I adore, but I want them to see mom as happy and strong without regrets. I’ve tried hard to make it this way. I hope I am succeeding not to bring them to a place where they think that if they don’t have the American Dream life, that they will be unhappy and fail.
Leaving Failed Love And Lifestyle Behind
I wish I had been stronger and realized these things a long time ago. There is no telling what I could have achieved by now. It was the typical distraction for me that kept me focused on things out of my reach; family telling and teaching things that were just going to be an unrealistic outcome for me. I played into it and inevitably had to find out myself the hard way that God made some of us to be untypical. I suppose I'm talking for others when I say that. I’m aware of this. It’s just; I know there are others out there like me, who have wasted precious years trying to fulfill the quintessential dream of what your population of peers and elders deemed to you to be the perfect life.
If you are reading this and relate to my words, my advice to you right here and now is to stop! Whether you are twenty or fifty, just stop! Don’t continue to try to find something that “everyone else has.” If you haven’t found that yet, it either wasn’t your destiny, or it’s not supposed to be your destiny yet. I’m not saying that we were born to be alone. I’m saying we went or go about finding love the wrong way. Some of us have lost ourselves somewhere on the way of discovering who we truly are. Therefore, we haven’t allowed ourselves to find that true person for us.
Answer The Initial Question In This section
A Question To Think About
So, do you believe if you let go and just be who you are, the right person will come to you? Well, I don’t know if that is true, but I think that is what I am inclined to believe now at this middle stage. I’m done wasting time on what is not right. I assume I have a one out of a hundred chance of finding Mr. Right at this time in my life, and oh well; it will be what it will be. I don’t foresee dwelling over what may not be for me anymore. It just dulls your shine, and I believe everyone is supposed to shine in their own unique way.
I Found A Freedom In My Forties
I feel so different entering halfway into my forties anyway. There is this calm and silent understanding that rests with me now. A sadness, yet an acceptance of, when I look back on my life, probably was my inevitable fate anyway. I’m alone. I have always really been alone, and I will always be alone until death do I part this world.
I’m laughing saying that, because this is where you end up if you are like me at this point, and it just becomes laughable. I wasted so much time being the living dead, faking being alive for my family and others who judged me if I seemed to be any other way but strong. Giving it all I had to be positive and never negative, but the truth is, I was exhausted, and I grew numb to that type of struggle. Then…a miracle happened; I just let it all go.
Continuing My New Found Freedom Into The Future
The word freedom takes on a different meaning for me now. When I was young, all I wanted was to grow up and feel free from childhood as mine was miserable. I'm unrestrained now from parents, who didn’t mean to, but taught a type of lifestyle that only fit for their specific type of upbringing. They never taught individuality, but somehow I managed to fight for it eventually. I think I had to go through the routine of normalcy or what they would call normalcy in order to gain it, but I did. Normal was torture for me, because I never fit the mold of that.
Now, Freedom is breaking out of the memories of mistakes, learning to accept myself finally. It really doesn’t matter or phase me if no one else does. I’ve learned how to raise my children in my own way, and I have taught them how important becoming their individual self is. Sometimes I feel like I am failing my lessons of life when it comes to my daughter, but then, I think; maybe it’s just the teenage years, and give her time, and she will find her own way. She is a confident young beauty with goals and is driven to reach them. I think she will make her dreams come true.
As for my son, he has gone through some stages of different types, and I can’t tell yet where his mind is at when it comes to his future. However, that is fine. In that way, he is so much like me; it's scary. Lol. I’ll give him space with no teachings of how you should be, but more guidance of following what his heart tells him to be.
The End? Nah, It's Just The Beginning...
Again, the forties are funny. I feel the most successful at being me, but in turn, also very unsuccessful in getting where I want to be. I’m definitely what you would call a late bloomer for success. I have not found that yet, but then again, I suppose success is all in the way you look at it. I discovered how to be me late in life, so I’m still searching for my so-called success, but I’ll tell you something, I’m not disappointed about that. I see, in so many ways, how I have grasped that concept of being grateful and happy for what you have more than others my age. I feel sorry for the ones living in those big homes and driving those new cars, while working their lives away and struggling to maintain it all. I was there myself once upon a time, and with a sad turn of fate, ended up right back where I started with more responsibility to carry with me, yet less of that struggle to do so. It's wonderful how that has made me happy more than sad. :)
I have realized that I am happier now that I was tossed out of the struggle of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians.” Sorry it’s what I choose to say for the modern term of “Keeping Up with the Joneses.” It works right? Anyway, I love these people I have changed into over the years, and I am most happy to find the me I am going to stick with for good now. I guess when I take time to think about what I have just discussed here, my view needs to change from the beginning sentence I wrote. Love does conquer all, but it wasn't the traditional paired up one, it was the love I had for myself.
The Objects Of My Life
© 2016 Missy Smith
Trees they blow in front of me,
I can feel the breeze. It taunts
me. It carries my mind to a place
of freedom in which I cling to, but
a freedom from my mind is never
My mind stays busy all day, some
days I’m that single flower that
blooms, while other days I loom
in maddening gloom; sleeping in
slumber, only awoken to be a
mother for my children who
entered life from my womb.
My heart speaks in volumes so very
loud. It always disturbs my mental
crown. It dulls the shine with tarnish
and scratch, then stomps it to the
ground; dirt in the diamonds, yet
I will wear it proud.
A lonely pauper poet writes about
many hurtful ploys that took her love
and played with it as a toy. It took it,
shook it, spun it around and left it
alone to dust-no sound, but today
her new purpose abounds...
A Book On Similar Topic. Accepting Rejection and Pulling Happiness From It
© 2016 Missy Smith