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Love Does Cost

Updated on February 22, 2018

Every day I wake up alone, scared, and afraid. I can never have anyone sleep next to me because I feel that one’s company and two is a crowd. Marriage is definitely out of the question, especially when you’ve seen four of them crumbled before your very eyes that would put a pretty sour taste in your mouth. Having to spend all your time trying to make sure someone else doesn’t end up mad at you, just seems time consuming. I would feel as if I would be swimming in a giant pool and there are no life guards, rafts, float devices just a giant safety hazard. Nothing but getting hit by waves, next thing you know you’re a child again when you first tried swimming and you keep almost drowning. You keep choking on the water until you go under and you’re not too sure how to come back up.

I see my friends getting married and having kids. They post about happiness and how they found true love. I wonder if they know that in five years they are going to wake up do the normal morning routine and when they are sitting at the breakfast table; take a sip of coffee look up to realize that maybe you made a huge mistake. I understand that everyone needs love, and no one is unlovable I just don’t see it happening for me. Now I’m not trying to act like an angry middle aged lady with ten cats and every season of sex and the city, I’m just speaking from my heart. When it’s all said and done kids will cry and lawyers will rejoice seeing that they can finally take their wives on that dream vacation they promised them after law school, and it will be because two people fell in love.

© 2015 Shauntoray Grisby

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