Love came down & rescued me
This is the Biography of my life and how I placed my life in God's hands there is a beautiful truth to why "Love came down and rescued me" Because my Heavenly Father truly did save me from suicide.
This story is to inspire the ones who need it most and the lost so that they can come to know the truth this is my True Testimony!
My story has a reason for why I turned to God and what lead me to take the next step to make it known by telling people that God is real you will understand once you have read my story.
My name is Kayleigh Jayde I was born in England a place called Liverpool I also have a twin we grew up in England my twin was the healthy one but I was born with a Heart Condition that being a Hole in my heart, a Leak on my Valve and a Heart Murmur having surgery at the age of one. They never detected this Condition when I was born it was picked up when I was rushed to Alder Hey Children's Hospital at that very young age for not being able to breath my Mother described myself as having blue lips, with pale sickly skin I had fainted and so had to be rushed to the Hospital were they broke the news to my Mother I then had to have surgery to fix my Heart but of course it was just a temporary plastic baby valve they replaced my leaky valve with I was to grow up with this condition and one day have another operation.
Our Mother was attacked when we was at the age of three, In a park right in front of our very eye's, of course being the age of three too young to remember we were told this story many times growing up our Mother was in a coma but she survived sadly carrying that mental scar with her.
My Mother had a mental breakdown because of this she was scared of the place we lived because of this attack my Mother was never able to be herself again which of course affected myself and my twin. My Mother constantly went missing and could not cope with me and my twin because of the breakdowns we was placed in a foster home.
The Foster home was with a foster carer named Christine to which we did not like her very much she was mean, cruel, abusive. I remember vividly that she would lock me and my twin in a room she would treat me like I was her favourite over my twin giving me sweets but never my twin the boys that resided in that place were very abusive towards us.
This being a horrible experience of course I would never forget an experience like that. My Nan found out what my Mother had done to us she was not happy and Christine would not give us up easily it was a hard fight for my Nan to get us back and my Mother too. My nan was angry at my Mother but we finally came back to the Family.
But weeks later my Mother kicked my Father out claiming he was abusing her this me and my twin still struggle to believe we was never told the whole truth from both sides of the family but maybe one day we will know. It was then when my Mother disappeared with both myself and my Twin.
Nobody knew where we was my family searched Foster homes, Hospitals, Called Social Services to which they were no help not even the Police helped properly although I think they searched nobody ever told us this part. Meanwhile we resided in a place called Rochdale which we never really liked very much but what choice did we have we was three and a half years old.
My Mother constantly had breakdowns and suffered from epilepsy so was always rushed to Hospital our step dad which she met in Rochdale would take care of us during these times. As we were growing I think in the first primary school we went to My twin was in a separate class from myself but I ended up befriending a girl that was trouble and of course I must of missed my Family having been taken away that far from them I acted out and was very naughty in school.
At the age of six we decided to move school's we went to a school that was closer to our home it was a catholic school which we enjoyed so much we had many friends. One thing that I will always remember is the day my Twin was ran over by a car this I remember very clearly we stood awaiting to cross the road my Mother was crossing us but my Twin did not hear my Mother so she crossed as she crossed a car hit her she suddenly flew up into the air while falling her head hit the bonnet of the car landing on the ground my Mother immediately became hysterical my Twin was rushed to Hospital and of course was very lucky she survived but always has a reminder with a scar on her eyebrow that she now lives with.
I also remember an accident that occurred with me I think I was at the age of ten riding down a hill on my bike to show my Mother that i could go down a hill on my bike but i ended up clicking the wrong handle and that was then when I went over my handle bars were my head hit the curb I remember blood was all over myself and the ground but I was okay a neighbour over the road saw so she came running I had ice on my head she gave me butterfly stitches but I turned out fine my Mother was hysterical for nothing because i was brave at that age I don't even remember the pain.
We did have a lot of happy memories but cannot seem to remember them much because of the overwhelming sadness that seemed to keep happening, My Mother had breakdowns constantly and would be angry and never let us have any kind of fun the slightest noise we made she would scream at us or smash our toys which was not a nice sight to see.
I remember one time we was out playing and decided to walk a neighbours dog who we loved so much her name was Lucky so we walked this beautiful dog with our friends onto a main road we was not allowed to go further then our street because out of my Mother's site she would worry. This one day was very traumatic we was crossing the road with Lucky my friend took Lucky off her lead and ran across the road but Lucky followed her she was knocked down an I still remember the big yelp she let out.
We was hysterical very traumatised we left Lucky and ran home my Mother thought it was me that had been knocked down because my Twin was not making any sense but then she realised and was just relieved it was not me but sad it was the dog and we was very sorry to the owner we never walked a dog ever again from our street.
Each time my Mother had an epileptic fit we was left in the care of our step dad but was always sad to see her that way but we knew how to phone an ambulance and that is what we did each time being smart. I don't remember much more of my childhood years just these very sad stories but we grew fast and had now reached the high school years.
From the age of eleven we started high school year seven was the start, Very nervous we thought all our friends from primary school would never become apart but we was wrong, as we all became mixed my Twin and I were separated all our friends found new friends so did my twin never did I guess I would ever be the one to be bullied.
I was the only girl in my class which made it hard enough they would called me horrible names like "Frog" "Scabies" "Rabies" they would kick me, throw things at me, Stab me with pins, Pull my hair, Try to start fight's with me etc. it was a nightmare I could not understand what was wrong with me. I went through half the year's of school with this spot that was under my nose It was a cause from hormones but I was bullied for it being called "Moley" and other kinds of horrible stuff.
I could not understand but my twin constantly stood up for me she was my rock and I was glad to have her around she would fight my battles I was so happy to have her around the bullying constantly caused me to create excuses as to why I did not want to go to school I would always fake illnesses just so I did not have to go. My Mother would complain all the time because the teachers did not seem to care.
In year eight I was bullied by a girl and a gang they would write notes that said "If you hate Kayleigh tick yes" Of course they all would tick yes and make fun of me which hurt so much but because they were kids they could not understand how it would feel to a girl who already had a hard life, How it would knock me down, How much I was alone in a world that was a constant battle towards me but I would put up a fight.
I made up lies to get this girl in trouble because nothing would work teachers would not listen they cared more about the job they had and I felt like nobody cared about me too the point I knew what suicide was but I was scared to kill myself as I always thought of the pain it would cause or what it would feel like to die.
This girl had constantly threatened me, Bullied me, Hurt me physically mentally and so much more to the point I could not take it anymore I stood up and i fought her and winning this fight made me feel so much better because I had enough of being treated like I was not human it was not right. We ended up in isolation we then made back friends but rumours were always flying around about myself I tried to ignore it.
I would be made fun of because of my Heart Condition and because I never had my dad I was alone I just wanted attention just like all the other girls did I never felt so alone, this boy had the same name as my dad but he bullied me to the point it made me so sad I kept missing days off school I could not take it anymore in my room I took my tie and thought about what it would be like to strangle myself I tried to do this but I did not go through with it.
At the age of fourteen my Biological father came back into our lives by gaining custody of us for just weekends it felt so good to see him again and to get a break from Rochdale and the Mother, I remember recording a song with him called "Four Walls" Because it represented how I have been made to feel while being bullied although I do not remember the Lyrics I remember one sentence that said "These four wall's, I'm going to knock them down, These four walls I want to Knock then down" because I felt trapped in a world that was so cruel.
Me and my twin moved to my Father's but I did not like it so soon wanted to come home I had missed my GCSE's but my twin did not want to come back home she moved with my Nan who still lived in Liverpool I missed my twin but I was far to used to Rochdale I wanted to stay with my Mother because I knew I would miss her I had to do year ten all over again that is when i became best friends with a girl named Sophie she became like a sister to me she replaced my twin.
I never wanted to leave because Sophie was too much of a best friend I never wanted to lose her. In school I would get paranoid because I knew what it was like to have no friends to be bullied to have no one and now that my Twin was not with me anymore it was so much harder. I still felt left out and loads wanted fights with me because my Twin was now gone I felt left out by Sophie and other friends but after School we was always together, In school it was different I always felt pushed away I never wanted to lose friends because being lonely is a horrible thing.
At the age of fifteen It was time for my second Heart Operation in Alder Hey Children's Hospital Liverpool I was not scared at all, My cousin said I was very brave she could never of gone through the heart surgery I was about to go through without being terrified, But having been rushed in and out of Hospital throughout Childhood I was used to it but I did not know how much pain I would be put in which was daunting to me.
I remember nearly fainting when they was taking my blood through my hand I now never ever will get blood taken from my hand ever again I also remember they gave me a tablet to put me to sleep I saw a clown because he was there to cheer the sick children up I remember they rolled the bed to the reception table and I cannot remember much after that I must of fell to sleep with my Mother by my side.
After the surgery I remember waking to my family who was crying around my bed I remember asking them "Why are you crying" I also remember calling each of the names as they walked in to see me. Of a night I kept asking for milk and for the nurse to turn me over because it was so painful to turn myself around, They took me off Milk because it kept making me feel sick the pain was immense but I knew if it was any of my family members that had to deal with this they would not cope it was better me then one of my Family members.
I recovered two weeks later and was allowed home but was in so much pain I stayed in my nan's for a week then travelled back to Rochdale I rested so much but could not sleep during the nights because of the pain I was off school for three months they sent me a Get Well Soon card signed by the whole class.
I went back to School after three months of rest I had to always leave early though so that I did not get knocked in the chest or any other thing but I was happy to see Sophie again and was happy to be closer to her but at times still felt left out. I was still bullied in English class but I would always put up a fight.
What made it worse was my Mother had relapsed into her Mental Breakdown I would come home to her Missing, or the Kitchen being smashed up. My step dad had left her at that time so it was just me and my Mother she would always be paranoid about the woman over the road she was getting into the house stealing things, or putting things like drugs in the floor boards and cutting the wires, she was apparently also phoning Social Services on my Mother telling them I was not going to school so my Mother thought.
This frightened me so much to the point I could not sleep I began to suffer from Sleep Paralysis were I was being attacked in my dreams I could not Move, Scream, Run, etc. it was not nice to suffer this as the shadows were very violent and it traumatised me too much. I stopped sleeping as I was scared but then I would wake up too tired to go to school, To scared to go to school because of my Mother I was worried about leaving her alone but I knew I had to go to school or my Mother would of got into trouble.
I woke one day to her fighting in the street with the woman over the road I did not know what to do I stayed off school that day. But when I did go to school I was getting so Stressed, Depressed and Upset I was constantly Angry and nobody knew why I would take it out on my friends because I never knew how to take this, I would issue how I felt which was being left out and it saddened me I kept getting into trouble because me and a girl kept arguing and Sophie would be in the middle all the time truth is I did not know how to control all the emotions deep inside of me I was a girl getting ready to give up because all I had known was constant Sadness, Anger, Disappointment's and Loss I then had to be Counselled by the school Councillor I don't remember that teachers name.
I expressed my feelings to her in tears because constantly dealing with Bullying, Exams, And looking after my Mother at the same time stressed me out to the point I became Depressed I told the teacher I wanted to die this then worried her. She thought it would be best I go stay with my nan for a bit while my Mothers goes to hospital this is when Social Services got involved.
I did not want to leave Sophie she was my Best friend but I knew I had to because there was nobody to take care of me so that is when the Social Services took me from my Mother and I then went to Live with my nan this I thought was the best idea for now. But then living in my nan's became sad to me because I missed Sophie I kept ringing her but then we ended up falling out she never ever spoke to me ever again I was blocked on everything.
At this age my life was made horrible by my aunty she made my life a living hell I came to my nan's for a break from the life I had came from I trusted her so much because I was supposed too. She lived with my Nan at the time and she was so horrible to me. I remember one time she attacked me in front of my baby cousin because I did not walk my cousin's dog with my cousin as I was watching a movie with my baby cousin she tried to rag me everywhere and in self defence I kept trying to kick her away as soon as my Nan walked in I was hysterical I tried to tell my Nan but she took my Aunt's side and so did my Aunt's daughter to which I felt betrayed they was going to tell my uncle it was me so I ran crying up the street were I phoned my dad to come pick me up but never ended up going to my dad's I went back to my nan's and ignored my aunty but was still upset.
Over the year I had dreams of Sophie constantly baring a reminder and as it got to a year it made me very upset because I knew she never wanted to see me again I went to a performing arts school but was always silent because of what I had been through I could not trust or make friends it was always hard for me to gain confidence but I tried my very best.
My aunty would still give me hell constantly trying to start fights and attack me but I would always stand up to her I had the idea standing up to giant's is a good thing she always hated me and my twin she would take everything out on us and I had never felt so small and hated in all of my life by this woman it was not fair that it had to be this way after the life I have had.
I suffered terribly with depression nobody understood or knew what was going on in my head but I can describe it as having four walls and being trapped inside we're I cannot scream the room being dark that I cannot see and being alone in everything that I come across is what it feels like to me I felt invisible I wanted to tell but I could not open my mouth It would happen constantly until I grew to the age of nineteen.
I met Helen she was a great friend I was in a relationship with her brother Anthony he made me feel like I had something to live for I had never felt that way in all my life giving the fact I had been through so much I felt the walls crumble I felt like myself again. Helen had also asked me to promise her that if Anthony breaks up with me I would remain friends with her which of course I never wanted to break that promise.
So when Anthony did leave me the four walls came back up I had not known pain in all my life I used to say if a boy broke my heart I would not be bothered but My heart raced so fast it felt like it was exploding from my chest, It felt like my stomach had turned my heart had been reached into, pulled from my chest cavity and thrown to the ground, being stepped on I thought I was going to pass out because it was that painful I was crippled I could not get up and face the day I stayed in bed and cried until my tears were no more.
That was enough to put me off wanting another relationship as he was my first love I knew it would not last although at least that is what society drums into our heads. Still to this day I have not moved on because It put me off I would rather wait until the right one comes into my life because I do not want to experience that again.
But after this I remained friends with Helen because I keep my promises and each time my Aunty hurt me I would run to Helen's and talk to her about it she would make me feel human again so much better. I remember I was suicidal I took many pills and phoned Helen it was because of my Aunty she told me to kill myself and of course because I constantly had to deal with pain all the time, Loss, Disappointment's, Sadness, Anger, Pain, Violence, Hurtful names, Depression I considered it so that is why I did it but Helen phoned me an ambulance they took me to the Hospital I turned out fine.
Helen then became like a sister to me she referred to me as her baby sister she raised my confidence, my self esteem, she told me words I had never been told before, she would tell me how proud she was of me because of my Modelling because of how far I had gotten given the fact I had faced many hard battles she would give me something worth living for.
My family have never told me how proud they are of me, How happy I made them, How proud they are of my Modelling, or that they loved me instead they would be Jealous my aunty mostly, They would act horrible towards me, They would constantly call me anorexic because I am naturally skinny and they are not they never ever gave me words of encouragement I am now scared to break out this shell of mine and because of the constant belittlement I Model because of all that I went through I lost Confidence in myself, my Self Esteem became low I wanted to make my family proud and happy but even still this was not enough.
At nearly the age of twenty this is when I found God a girl from America helped me she was called Antoinette I was a catholic and I did believe in God but I never knew what to do I always felt this emptiness deep inside of myself I just wanted to be loved, to be cared for, someone to be proud of me, to be told that I am loved yes I was deeply Lost but this was not the end I became found.
I was told how to turn to God and thus I became a Born Again Christian just by Praying the Repentance Prayer telling God my Sins and Accepting Jesus. Now some may think this is funny, Or that I am Brainwashed but you see I was not born Into a family that believed in God My family are cold hearted I constantly Pray for them to understand God's Love to know him, And to understand why I turned to God giving the pain I had gone through.
God saved me this I can truly say now because I was a sinner, I was looking for ways to make myself happy to feel some sort of feeling not the feeling of pain, I used to mock people who believed in God I called them "Bible Bashers" because I did not understand and I could not understand how God could let me be in this much pain, I did watch P*** I searched for Love thinking I had to that is why I ended up losing my Virginity to my first which was Anthony not even realising how sacred it really was and upon realising this I said I am sorry to God I am awaiting on the right person A Christian like me because I know they would treat a woman right and not just use her the way my ex did to me because I was a virgin he took advantage at least that is what I felt like he did.
I did bad things too for example after my ex left me I went insane I was out every night clubbing, Getting Drunk just to take the pain away, I remember I took a tiny bit of a line because I was so drunk and trying to get over my ex I thought it was the best way I Stopped breathing and woke to my friend doing CPR yes that was a stupid thing to do and because of that I never touched anything like that ever again, I watched P*** because it helped me to get over him and my hormones were raging this I do not know why it was apart of life that I was experiencing but turning to God now has made me not like any of these things I felt ashamed growing up I also acted out and did bad things I remember smashing a girls face against a fence and she bled, I remember trying to be a bully because I did not want to be bullied anymore that was in school but it did not work, I got into fights, I was mean to a few friends to chase them away I got into all sorts of things but of course this was apart of life too.
That is all I had ever known so no I am not brainwashed, no I do not think myself higher then everyone else, I was just a Lost soul that needed to be saved and to be found I knew the Truth and why Jesus died I could not go back to my old life I can't Imagine my life without God I would have been dead now if I never knew God I now have something to live for and I will soon know my purpose.
I remember just being in the first stages of becoming Born Again I was on Holiday in Spain I did not know that I had to pray the Armour Of God and the Blood Of Christ it was a horrible time I became someone else I was not me My eyes widened, Voice had changed, I was paranoid constantly feeling pushed out I was angry and would flip at my cousins, But in a restaurant I smacked my cousin because she was talking to me horribly and she hit me so I reacted back not meaning to my Aunty kicked me out the Restaurant she did not give me the key to get back into the apartment I had to walk through Magaluf alone an get a key from reception I took up raw vodka and went to my room hearing voices telling me to slit my wrists so I did I cried out took tablets with alcohol and I was thinking of jumping from the balcony the voices got stronger I screamed out for God because I was terrified I felt overwhelming comfort I did not jump, I was healed, The tablets did no harm nor did the alcohol, But I was still in battle I carried on in anger towards my cousins and aunty.
I realised what was happening I explained to my aunty on my depression I apologised and then I cried myself to sleep that night, I was sat right at the front on my own when we travelled back home I still felt something was in me I cried and heard the voices as soon as I got home because my cousin knew I slit my wrists she went to rub it in my face she said to me "Oh you showing Nan your scars" I dived on her not letting go my other aunty the one who always attacked me tried to strangle me to death I fell down and had a seizure the next day I apologized to my Cousin we made up then I Repented to God and asked for healing and when I went to the Hospital nothing had affected me I was perfectly fine and my Faith became stronger.
I mean I still fall at times but I always go back to God because by his grace I am forgiven after all Jesus did die to save us I realise that now.
I have not grew to trust people though nor friends this because of the life I went through I could not trust anyone I have no friends because I know what it is like to be hurt by those close to you I have no reason to trust anyone but God. The friends that I had always end up leaving, Hurting, Backstabbing, Using or Disappointing me just like in the past with Sophie I could not trust I was to scared too.
When I moved on from Helen she had hurt me more then ever this girl I had not realised was using me but I do not know what for, unfortunately had a problem with a drug called coke, and alcohol I truly believed I found someone to trust to look up too as she was older then me, to have a sister figure as well as my twin I could always run to Helen and we helped each other but when she was mean to me and cared more about the boy's in her home and the horrible looks she kept giving me that my other friend saw and taking her fallout with my Twin out on me it made me think twice, She lied to me she hurt me, Used me, Disappointed me and broke my trust which hurt so much I cried I felt it was best to drop our friendship after all I did for her comforting her when she was suicidal I truly did care but I guess she did not and I have not spoke to her since I do miss her but I cannot go back I gave up on her I felt bad for this but I knew I that door had to be closed I am never going back.
And since then I have not trusted anyone as of yet to be a friend to me I have a few friends I see a few times but I do not want to risk a relationship getting broke again so I do not fully Trust I know I trust in the Lord because he has saved me so many times and I am so very grateful. Even I still fall, Even I still suffer Depression I now have found a church called Long Lane Church, And it is now my true family I have never been so overwhelmed by Love in all my life because I had never felt that feeling, I had never felt this special this cared for in my life and now I know how much God adores us all even after all the rebelling, and all of the sins that we do I want to live my life for him and this is why I set up Faith Finder so that all who read this and all who comes across this site will know that Jesus is the Truth.
My aunty is still the same yes, she calls me many things like "Freak, Get some friends, Get a Boyfriend, and all kinds" which is hard and saddens me because she knows why I am the way I am, I will never feel loved by this woman but I do love her and I forgive her because God would want me to but I can never trust her I know I would never treat my Niece the way she has treated me, God gave me a niece to learn how to Love and to never treat her the way my aunty does to me I wont let myself change who I am because of the hurt and the pain and in hope my aunty will Love me and not hurt me again and find God this is my prayer "Heavenly Father let my aunty know she is Loved Forgive her, Bring her to you, Change her life, and let her experience you in Jesus name I pray"
Yes I still suffer from depression but I come to God and Convey all of my problems, Feelings, Emotions, etc. to him and I feel the comfort that gives me the will to go on, To full fill this purpose this life is not mine to take God gave me this life for a reason and I am going to make a difference this is my prayer to all those that I have known, Know, and all who have left my life and who are coming into my life.
"Heavenly Father bless the ones that have left my life, the ones that are entering my life, and the ones who I have known, That you fill them with your love, Let them be forgiven, Change their hearts, let them experience your Love, Lead them to my story so that they can know you and know that even through what I have been through I turned to you and was saved so let them do the same thing and be lead by the Holy Spirit to you Heavenly Father this is my Prayer and I ask this in the name of my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, Amen.
Thank you Lord for saving me, For Forgiving me, For giving me the will to carry on, and for Healing me, You are what I live for and hopefully More will understand this and will be drawn to you, I love you Heavenly Father and I give you Praise..
I turned to God because I knew I needed a saviour to come take my pain away and surely enough he did, I know if I never turned to God I would of jumped from that balcony in Spain and never would of known God at all, but I never and I found strength in Jesus.
he saves me all the time, in him i have hope and hes my healer
I am saved, You can be saved too, just let my Biography inspire you to the truth!
This song gave me the inspiration to call my Testimony "Love came down and Rescued me" Kari Jobe is a beautiful singer and this song is just amazing and the Truth, because Jesus did come down to save us and he was true Love.
I decided to write my Biography because it shows a lot of what I have been through and exactly why I turned to God and Accepted Jesus.
I have a website stating my Biography if you would like to check out my website click the link below..
All of these events happened in my life and now I have the ability to change peoples lives and open their eyes. It has made me who I am today, Strong and caring and now able to write about my Testimony as it is God's will for me.
Questions & Answers of my Testimony
Why are you a Born again Christian?(Because I figured out the Truth! Jesus is Lord & God is our Father)
Well a year ago from today I was on my own path, But the seed was growing I only started off small, I had repented at the start of Spring last year not because I wanted too but because I knew I needed to be saved by something bigger then myself. That was when I changed, my friends from America, Ana, Tanya, Martin etc told me stories because I was questioning whether God exists or not I had a lot of questions. I did know about God of course I grew up in a Catholic school but did not agree with the Catholic ways.
Ana was a Christian and I knew I was ready to turn to Jesus after all I had been through I knew I needed a Saviour that to be loved was what I wanted most, to stop my sinful ways, to stop running away from what was the TRUTH and become stronger. Yes! I changed a lot my Family and Friends told me some family members think I am "weird" & "Crazy" a few of my friends said I'm like an "Angel" (which of course I am not but it is a nice compliment) etc but that is because they have not yet came to God they have not yet Repented but I am certain they will in time patience is a big thing and praying for them is all i can do as they still go on without him. Sadly I am the only one in my family who is now a born again Christian and it will never change I have already came too far now to turn back I would be foolish to give up all of this.
Yes that Spring I became saved by Gods Grace as I got down and Repented. Something changed within me it was like I was not me I wrestled with temptations with many Sins that is when i learnt it never gets easy of course in fact it's a very hard walk in life but you come to figure out that if God was not around you could never ever! Be able to be this strong now I do not know what I would of done without God or how on earth did i get through life without him??? Is the big Question!.
What do your family think?
Well for one I do not care what they, or anyone seems to think because I know they will of course question it is what comes with the sacrifice I made they can't seem to understand the concept of me taking this so serious because to myself it is serious as I would like to know my Heavenly Father I mean who would not want to know the Truth? And who would not want to be loved by someone or something that loved us and knew us even before the womb that loves us still even though we fail him everyday through sin.
I have tried to explain things to them, tried to get my nan a bible for Christmas so she knows the truth but she angrily said "Get me one and I will rip it up and throw it at your face" to which was upsetting but there is nothing I can do I guess but be patient. I have a cousin who asked me "What has God ever done for you I hope this is a phase you are going through" But I could not find the words to answer but now I know how to answer this question it would be "Well God gave his only begotten son up to be sacrificed so that he can pay off our sins and through his blood our debt is paid so that means when ever we Repent of our sins to Jesus he pays them off and God forgives because of what Jesus did for us he died to save us so that we can be with him and our Heavenly Father and he still loves us regardless" But I constantly pray for them.
My dad was mad at me because he did not understand he called it brainwash which it was not because I would be like a puppet on a string and I can surely tell you that I am free or I would not be thinking right now the way I am. He said to me that "I do not want to give you a Job in my work because if you mention God and that your a Christian you will embarrass me" it did upset me but I will not be broken I am strong in the lord Jesus died for us and if you want it personal I would say for me and that is an amazing thing he loves us so much he died for us. He did try to pull me away from God but no way not ever will I let that happen!..
My mother understands I did take her to church she has now started on her own path but I still have to help her understand a few things because she still Questions. I helped my other little cousin start her path she repented I gave her my prayer book she began to pray and now does it all the time and were she is at now I do not know but I do hope she is happy and growing. I helped two other people which repented and learnt but whether they carried on down that path and grew I do not know.
How have you changed?
Well the old me has gone, I do not get drunk like I used too, I constantly talk about God because he is Real and now apart of my life, I read the Bible, I pray, I go to church, I love to worship, everybody knows I am a Christian and my nan tells everyone she knows and so does my twin, Mother etc. I do not go out and party with friends in fact they cut me out of everything and said i care more about God and Church just because I would not go out clubbing with them. I have a personal relationship with my heavenly father while I also go to church after meeting many other Christians who are my true family and I learn off them I am filled with many ideas and I am very compassionate I hate Sin
Yes I am a Sinner trying to be strong so that I am not tempted to Sin I do fail God but because of his Grace I am forgiven every time I sin as i constantly Repent it never gets easy I try to be careful not to do the same Sin again and again. I hate evil people! Those that hurt others with no reason at all every kind of sin and pain, But if anyone came to me for help and to change I would of course help them to Repent and I would never deny any kind of sinner that is because I am a sinner myself and I would expect anyone to help me know my Heavenly Father and Saviour. I have made many mistakes like being angry, Fighting with friends, And backstabbed because I was upset, I have watched po*n and all other acts I suppose you could guess it started from a young age and I still do fall and Fail but you know what?
That's right!!! I get back up and I overcome it I put on the shield I become stronger! And I tell God of my failures he gives me strength without him I would be nothing i would still be a hopeless girl still searching to be filled with true love to have that emptiness to still be chained up from sin following others and constantly being peer pressured by friends to get drunk and go out and party (Which I have always hated) and I would still be hanging around with the wrong kind of friends that i thought were true which I was wrong, I would never of known my true Christian family I would still be going on being deceived, Depressed, Sinful, all the things you can Imagine. I wanted to be loved so much I thought a man could do that I did lose my virginity to which I regret but I have never once slept around with men because when my ex left me I understood why we are supposed to wait until marriage but because this was before I turned to God I thought it was the way of the world I wanted so much to experience a relationship having been 19 I was falling for him and I was so naïve he hurt me more then ever and he couldn't even break up with me face to face it was by a text he just wanted my virginity and boy did i regret giving it to him It was that pain that was enough to turn me to God having already suffering a lifetime of pain, disappointment's, sadness, Depression, Bullying, Hating, Sinful ways, Evil ways, Losing many people it all was enough for me to figure out the Truth and it is what everyone needs it would be selfish to keep this to myself, We need Jesus I will tell you that Truth! We need our Heavenly Father! Yahweh we need him!.
What made you create Faith Finder?
Well I had already grew stronger in my Faith I knew a lot now, I had many temptations but I overcame them and still try to over come them, It was my American friend Martin who suggested I needed to further grow I needed to connect to so many and that was when the thought came "I will make a YouTube channel, a Twitter Channel, a Facebook and Website" I told him and he thought that would be an amazing idea but first I had to come up with a name hmm I was in deep thought putting names together that is when a thought came too me as I sat quietly to think I mouthed the words "Faith Finder" and with much Joy I smiled and said to myself "That's it! That's the one!" and so I went on my way to create these channels to Find the lost and lead them to God with my stories, Testimonies, The word and all other sorts of stuff in hope that I will inspire those that are lost or are searching for a truth.
Now all of my pages are thriving and hopefully will go far because it is the will of God he wants to know his children he wants them to turn to him he is searching but it is whether they will find him all they need to do is seek, is to call his name and he shall come. He has loved us more then we can ever know even though we sin his love has never ran out he constantly searches, Forgives and Loves he is a Faithful God of Love and if we Repent he is Just enough to Forgive us because he has Loved us all this time with us being Lost he is the one searching he is the one I found and he found me now I would never go back to were my old life was I want to be with the one who has Loved us from the start he that has Loved us even when we are Lost in the chains of Sin he that gave his only begotten son to save us from our sin so that our sin is paid of by his son who is our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ/Yeshua.
So through Faith Finder hopefully those Lost will find there way, They will find the missing piece in they're puzzled life they will find the Love they need, The Emptiness that will be filled. I say this with Love and Truth, Jesus can be that puzzle piece he can fill you, He can save you and our Heavenly Father will love you, and accept you Give you strength and Grace, Open doors you need opening and Close those that need to be Closed, Praise him!. Who would not want to be loved by the most high? who we will one day meet with the greatest of Joy. Repent Today Accept Jesus!..
Has this Biography Inspired/Moved you?
- How did you turn to God if you believe in him?
- Have you got a Testimony?
- Would you consider giving God a chance?
- Would you Repent??
- Would you come to know the True Love??
If you need anything or want to know how to turn to God comment and I shall help
you can also check out my website www.Faithfinder.co.uk for many more Inspirations, Stories and about God's Love etc..