ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Books, Literature, and Writing»
  • Commercial & Creative Writing»
  • Creative Writing»
  • Humor Writing

MUFFIN WARS

Updated on April 14, 2010
You look hot
You look hot

I see you standing there.....

It is late in the evening and don't get me wrong, I have been thinking of you for quite a while. I wondered if you think of me too since I was your "creator" and I made you who you are today. When you came to me in "simple form" with all of your parts "undone" and scattered upon different royal settings, there was something "special" about you. I knew even then that you were mine to take "whenever."

I thought you would look best in a silver lined coat, but went for the ordinary frilly kind that reminded me of my childhood even though you still look like "royalty." As you sit there at the table looking over at me and pretending that you don't "stir" up anything makes me think that you are "evil." If it gets any worse and I can not defend myself, this my dear will be war! I can assure you that I will win. I always do.

So, I'm trying to analyze your effect on my writing this evening while I sit here all alone thinking of "bliss" as you touch my mouth and disappear in my hands. Part of me is really angry at you because you are the "last man" standing and this really pisses me off. You see I have devoured many like you in my lonely days this past week and I loved having your friends at night while I really needed a "pick up." I'm sorry, you were never the only one.

Tonight my concern is how sweet you are and I have visions of the wolf who finally tricked the Gingerbread Man. But you see you do not even have legs to run with and you have been loaded with heavy "treasures" that I saved for a very special occasion. Rich and sweet treasures that would make any women melt with desire and rush over to you and bring your "bliss" inside their hungry body. I'm not hungry, but I'm hungry for you.

I'm giving you one last chance my friend, to surrender to my needs and desires and I know you have been teasing me for the last hour or so. One thing I know for sure is as soon as I take you, you will not be able to fight me. You could sort of think of me as your "savior" from another evil and desperate enemy lurking in the house. Someone else in the ranks could have been really creative and torn you apart with their little aggressive hands. There is a good part of me because I have sat here and given you "hours of pleasure" of just being who you are.

I promise that I will not make you suffer and take you delicately next to the fire. The heat from my drink may melt your treasures, but know that I'm loving every minute of it. I know I will pay for this tomorrow morning and I'm willing to live with the guilt forever. I may have to move on to the other goodies in the neighborhood if I can't get over you.

So, now it is time to make you mine and I'm finding it hard NOT to tear you apart. Maybe I will just take "part of you" and then you can remain for a while longer. Be still my friend, you have no place to go because I can assure you that this should have happened a long time ago.  

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • LilianEden profile image

      LilianEden 6 years ago

      LOVE IT!!!! hahaha! Xx!

    • GPAGE profile image
      Author

      GPAGE 7 years ago from California

      thanx meteoboy! Always nice to see you! G

    • meteoboy profile image

      meteoboy 7 years ago from GREECE

      Pretty nice !!!! My best to you .

    • GPAGE profile image
      Author

      GPAGE 7 years ago from California

      betherann......thanks for stopping in.....GPAGE

    • GPAGE profile image
      Author

      GPAGE 7 years ago from California

      rebekahElle......hope it was YUMMY! ;

    • betherann profile image

      Beth Morey 7 years ago from Montana

      This made me smile. I love muffins!

    • rebekahELLE profile image

      rebekahELLE 7 years ago from Tampa Bay

      all last night I was craving one of those chocolate chip muffins. I'm going to find one today!

    • GPAGE profile image
      Author

      GPAGE 7 years ago from California

      rebekahELLE! So glad you found me! ; So glad that you enjoyed the hub ;

      Be careful which sort of muffin you choose ; ha

      Thanx for stopping by! Best, GPAGE

    • GPAGE profile image
      Author

      GPAGE 7 years ago from California

      Pamela99...thank you! so nice to see you here.....Best, GPAGE

    • rebekahELLE profile image

      rebekahELLE 7 years ago from Tampa Bay

      I found you over in cosette's cool hubbers hub and I'm glad I came over to find you! what a delightful hub! I will never, ever take my muffins for granted again. I wonder which one I will choose first... thanks for a wonderful read on this rainy late morning. :]

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 7 years ago from United States

      The muffins look fantastic and I really don't need to add anything to my daily calories! Great hub.

    • GPAGE profile image
      Author

      GPAGE 7 years ago from California

      James! I just thought of you yesterday! Wondering how you are doing? I have not found an agent for my book. BUT have not sent out to any agent yet or pursued. Honestly, I do not know where to start! Screenplays are easy for me because I can get referrals from the Hollywood crowd. A novel for young adults is quite different!

      I'm going to focus on this in March. The novel is for the Harry Potter and Twilight set.....something "inbetween" for young adults. Takes place on islands in and around Hawaii......tamales sound yummy! Thank you for stopping in and for your interest in my book. Nice of you to ask. Best, G

    • James McV Sailor profile image

      James J Mills 7 years ago from Northern California

      Ah yes.... a good muffin would be nice right now. Not much in the way of sweet comfort food here in Mexico, although the tamales are delicious..... Have you found an agent for your book? Best, JM

    • GPAGE profile image
      Author

      GPAGE 7 years ago from California

      The Rope! So nice to see you here! Thank you for the lovely comment....I hope you enjoy those morsels! ; G

    • The Rope profile image

      The Rope 7 years ago from SE US

      :D: :D: Once again, a wonderful treat - the muffins AND the read. Thanks GP! Sorry, gotta go, headed to the kitchen to dig out the choc morsels I hid away...

    • GPAGE profile image
      Author

      GPAGE 7 years ago from California

      HappyHer! I LOVE CHOCOLATE MUFFINS!!!!!!! Wait.....Did I say I LOVE chocolate muffins? ha.......glad to hear you baked muffins! ha G

    • GPAGE profile image
      Author

      GPAGE 7 years ago from California

      cheaptrick.....how did the lava cake go? ha Happy baking!!!!! G

    • HappyHer profile image

      HappyHer 7 years ago from Cleveland, OH

      Oh GPage! You know right where to hit my weakness! My mouth was watering this whole time...., now, where is my muffin mix?

    • cheaptrick profile image

      cheaptrick 7 years ago from the bridge of sighs

      OMG I am not a Bean!

      Don't have a clue do I?

      Sincerely

      Bean...

    • cheaptrick profile image

      cheaptrick 7 years ago from the bridge of sighs

      Hi G,You really hit home with this one!

      I'm learning how to Bake right Now!

      I forgot to let my first loaf of bred Rise twice and it came out of the oven looking like a Space Alien lol.

      My ultimate goal is a "Chocolate Lava Cake",Yummy!!

      Bean,

    • GPAGE profile image
      Author

      GPAGE 7 years ago from California

      Jess! VERY funny.....hope you had a nice "treat!" Best, G

    • GPAGE profile image
      Author

      GPAGE 7 years ago from California

      Ghost Whisper 77! I know....bring it on with a good cup of java! Best, GPAGE

    • Jess Killmenow profile image

      Jess Killmenow 7 years ago from Nowheresville, Eastern United States

      I dunno, I just get the words to Aerosmith's "Walk This Way" in my head when I read this. Gotta go, I'm suddenly hungry...

    • Ghost Whisper 77 profile image

      The IGNITER vs Corrupted Governments 7 years ago from The U.S. Government protects Nazi War Criminals

      I am going to keep coming back here to stare at that top picture...yummmmmmy! That looks so good with my java right now ;)

    • GPAGE profile image
      Author

      GPAGE 7 years ago from California

      habee! I don't know why I torture myself! I may as well just eat them all after I make them! ha I guess I think if I save one or two I will lose weight! ha

      Who am I kidding? Anyway, I bet you make some good one's! G

    • GPAGE profile image
      Author

      GPAGE 7 years ago from California

      kartika! Happy Birthday! I hope you had a fantastic time! wow! 70 cupcakes?!!! Are there any left? ha ....MAN, zuchini walnut fudge?!!!!! Those babies would never last here! Glad you had a giggle.....Best, G

    • habee profile image

      Holle Abee 7 years ago from Georgia

      Muffins are pretty much extinct at my house! We eat them as fast as they arrive!

    • kartika damon profile image

      kartika damon 7 years ago from Fairfield, Iowa

      lol! I just made 70 cupcakes last Saturday for my birthday party! I had 2 friends over and we had a marathon baking day - we made zuchinni walnut fudge and applesauce spice muffins with cream cheese frosting.

    • GPAGE profile image
      Author

      GPAGE 7 years ago from California

      Zsuzsy Bee! Sounds divine! Would love to join you! I bet you can bake some amazing muffins! I can almost taste them! ha

      Thanx for stopping in.....G

    • Zsuzsy Bee profile image

      Zsuzsy Bee 7 years ago from Ontario/Canada

      Pooor poor little 'muff-kins' never have a chance of winning the war at my house either.

      Love the hub made me hungry though so on that note I think I'll go and bake some kind of muffins...are you coming for coffee later?

      regards Zsuzsy