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Updated on May 6, 2016

77 lives (the cheesy version) WARNING! DO)N"T STEAL... I"M DONE!

77 lives

“Then peter came to Jesus and asked, “”Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?”” Jesus answered, “”I tell you, not seven times, but seventy seven times.””

Matthew 18:21-22 NIV


I remember my last moments…. My life flashing before my eyes…it was terrifying as I lay there on the hospital bed. I wondered if there was a God; if there was such a thing as heaven and hell. Surrounded by my family I spoke my last words; remember me for the better times we had…. not for the hard times. Forgive me please…and then I was gone.

Next thing I knew I felt a tingling sensation…and then I saw a bright light. Like the whole intensity of the sun shining down into my eyes all at once! It was remarkable! So beautiful and pure! Then I was lying down in a dark hole…I stood up to see other people getting up as well. What the hell was this? I am alive and standing in a grave. Okay…this is interesting. And then I heard singing and people were marching down the streets of a city I almost didn’t recognize! The sun was out but it was eclipsed. It was amazing. I looked up in the sky and was terrified! There were…there were angels in the sky singing, “holy holy is the Lord most high!” I quickly climbed out of my grave and said my God! It’s the end of the world and it’s judgment day! How could I have ever doubted this? MY GOD! I’m going to rot in hell for all eternity!

Chapter One

I was born November 15, 1988 in Madigan hospital on fort Lewis army base. My mother named me Charles William Kilman after my beloved father. I had a less than fantastic childhood. My parents were Catholic, so we went to church every Sunday. I was devoted to my faith as a young boy. Said my rosary every night and I was an alter boy. A priest raped me more then once. I didn’t admit it until I was much older. I was ashamed of the awful truth. I lost my faith in God; that God would accept and forgive someone like that…I couldn’t understand! I never forgave him for what he did to me! He did serve time though once I admitted my shame to the judge when I was 18. But by then the damage was done and I was not the only victum. So as I grew up without faith, believing that if there was a God that he wouldn’t allow such things to happen was beyond my understanding!

When the economy went down in 2009 I wasn’t sure if it would pick up or not. I became a con man. It sounded like a good idea to a twenty-year-old kid looking to get rich fast and have some fun at the same time. I look back and I’m not proud of what I did. I ruined lives…marriages, and cost people thousands of dollars. I never admitted this to my wife. She would have been upset that I felt bad for our outrageous lifestyle. She loved me because I had money. I met her during one of my cons. When she found out how much money I had she “fell hard and fast for me.” She was a gold digger and I deserved nothing less. But unlike her false love for me I really truly loved her. We had a son and a daughter. Their names were Charles Dean Kilman the third after myself, and then my daughter was named Marie Antoinette kilman. I raised my kids as atheist. Our family had some rough times and good times. Because of what I did for a living over time I saved so much money that by the time I was in my thirties I had retired early and we lived well all of our days together! My kids were denied nothing! For my daughters 16 birthdays I got her a $1000.00 pair of earrings and a 63-ford mustang GT. For my boy he got a Ferrari and a Rolex watch. That was a mistake I would regret for the rest of my life. The first night he got that car he went out street racing and got into an accident. He was in a coma for three months. When he woke up he couldn’t move anything from his neck down. One of the saddest days of my life was that day. I crawled into a bottle for letting him go for a ride with his friends who as it turned out egged him on. I stayed there for two years. In that time my wife left me for an attractive man half my age. She was five years older than him, but she gave up on me when our son was peralized and we had high medical bills.

Her new husband was young and an heir to a large fortune. By now mine was almost depleted due to medical bills and my wife and children’s bad spending habits. When she left she left the kids with me even with the state I was in; she didn’t care, she didn’t love them.

After my kids turned 18 they left one at a time. Charles didn’t talk to me for three years. My daughter helped me get back out of the bottle I was in. Eventually I went back to scamming people. I was getting lower on my money than I liked. My ex-wife was draining my resources. And I was still attractive enough to the ladies to milk all I could from them and their husbands. I did that for another ten years. I sent a good deal of my stolen money to my son to take care of him. He couldn’t do anything for himself. He had to have nurses to take care of him. So I paid the way for him to live as comfortably as was possible. But anyway, one day I quit doing everything I was doing and settled down in a nice house. I didn’t get married again. I was disappointed with my first marriage and I wouldn’t have another one! She took me for all I had in the divorce and I couldn’t forgive her. Anyways I got all the company I needed from other woman trying to do the same as my first wife. The cons helped provide for my…needs. I would make the girls think I loved them and then make them think I would get them what they wanted…and then they were forgotten I had reached a point where I didn’t care if I used anyone. I just…did what I had to make myself happy. But eventually I got sick. I ended up with an aggressive intestinal cancer and it was not pleasant it took that cancer two miserable years to kill me. So I died…. and now…it was the end of the world…judgment day! And I had to find a way to get God to let me make it up! I didn’t want to go to hell for eternity! I remember what the bible said about hell! And I was NOT going to go there without trying to fix it all first! So I devised my deal to make with God.

Chapter Two:

Making a Deal with God!

My plan was if God really did allow one question before you were judged, I would instead ask for three thus using my first question and that would make God wonder what I was up to. Next step would be to ask him my three questions, 1) would God be wiling to make a deal with me to save me from going to hell? If he said well that depends on the deal I would then ask question #2) what if he sent me back to earth in the time I was born to live a repentant life for my sins and do the will he had for my life originally. Then if he said yes, I would then ask question three: what are your terms my Lord?

As I walked along and thought about all of this I thought how would God ever go for that? It’s a wild chance that God would go for it! Then my thoughts were interrupted as Christians began to sing with the angels. I looked around and saw several people who looked scared…I’m sure my face looked just as afraid as theirs. We knew we had denied the existence of God and said that Christ was just a man. Yet here he was, riding out on a giant of a white horse, the clouds billowing around them in all his glory! Dressed in robes of white with a golden sash across his holy chest, it was frightening yet so beautiful! I couldn’t take my eyes off him! I was however surprised to see that Jesus didn’t look as I expected him to. He had a shaved head, and well not exactly the stereotype we had back in my day! I always pictured him with long hair…he always had long hair that reminded me of a hippie form the 1960’s that was an icon for him…long brown curly hair, long beard, dirty robes…. and leather sandals. But here and now…he was in the whites robes I have ever seen and a golden sash around his chest. It looked like it was actual gold but the gold was weaved in fine fibers of gold that made it just like cloth. It was remarkable! His robes were so radiant and so pure! Light emanated from underneath them, from Christ’s actual body underneath. I was almost blinded by the light! His baldhead…it was surprising! I also took note of a tattoo on his thigh that you could see through the light fabric. It was in another language. But I knew what it said “…King of Kings and Lord of Lords.” It was also on the chest of his robes. I remembered it from reading revelations one night in a hotel. Although I didn’t believe the bible I still enjoyed reading it. There were times I made fun of it as well…but right now it seemed so foolish to have done so! I was going to pay for it now if my deal didn’t work out.

Next thing I saw was the largest escalator I had ever seen! Seriously it was an escalator…a golden escalator. I laughed. It was somewhat humorous to me that I would be riding my way to judgment on a golden escalator. It reminded me of something I would read in the funnies of the paper on a Sunday morning. Soon people were getting on it and riding towards the top up in the clouds. I kept thinking about my deal as I got on and rode my way to the top. Not long after wards I was high up in the sky! So high! It was remarkable…then after about five minutes of that I was in space! Surrounded by stars and constellations that I couldn’t recognize. It was amazing! Well if my deal didn’t work out I would at least get to enjoy the last minutes of my existence seeing everything I never really appreciated before. We passed the sun and moon in their eclipse. It was so bright! And so intense…but beautiful! Seeing it so close was an amazing experience. How it was all-possible I didn’t know. But God was making it possible somehow. The ride Whitch didn’t take long at all was over all together way too soon I was traveling through space one min and then we went through a black hole and were in nothingness for a few min and then there was light up ahead…I thought we must have gone through to another dimension. It was the place between heaven, hell, and earth. People were given time to find each other. The time seemed to be moving as fast or slowly as people wanted it to for each person. It was amazing people were being reunited, meeting people for the first time. It was going faster, slower or the same speed for all the groups…it was amazing to watch. I lost myself in it. Next thing I knew my kids were there. And they were happy to see me…but also upset…what is happening? But we realized we could do nothing. So we enjoyed our little reunion, I met my grand kids. Charles didn’t have any children, and my daughter had all girls! After we had our time together we separated and were put into line. My kids were farther back than I was…. I was disappointed at this. I was far back enough as it was. But they were farther back than I was because I hadn’t ever taught them about God, and I sheltered them from God, I didn’t want them to know him. And they kept that up all their lives.

That line…it was the longest line I ever saw! All of the generations of humanity together all in the same place at once! People were scattered everywhere though talking to people they hadn’t seen meeting new people. Many were happy…many were upset and crying. I couldn’t see anyone I knew nearby. But soon I was filed into the line and I waited patiently…. but it was moving quite quickly for the length I don’t think I ever stopped walking at the slow but steady pace of half a step per a second. I kept thinking about my deal…. I was nervous. I had to stand before GOD! It was overwhelming thinking about that. I owed everything to him and yet I gave him nothing! The weights of my actions in life were heavy upon me. I thought of everything I had done. It seemed all so stupid and pointless that I had ever doubted now that I looked at everything. It now seemed so obvious to me that there was really all along thought out the igsiatance of the universe and BEYOND that…. that God…was…is…and always will be! He is the firggin I AM for crying out loud! And I witnessed all the good he had done in creating the universe its beauty! It was obviously designed by something beyond our understanding and imagination! I was humbled at the thought that I was getting closer and closer with EVERY STEP to the one I all owed our lame little existence to! What about my kid’s I didn’t know what happened to them. I wondered if they ever found God! What did I do? I was a terrible father! What kind of example was I for them! I kept walking…I’m going to hell for sure! There is no hope for me! I was nearing the end of the line, where God was sitting at his throne. He was veiled and I saw the seraphim whose faces were also veiled. They guarded him. I was close enough to them to see them…. they were beautiful and fierce creatures! For them to be so close to God! What a privilege! Even if they are veiled to be so close to God and sing praise and please him every moment they are in heaven! I got closer. People were moving so fast now. I didn’t hear any of the confessions. Or anything like that. They just either entered the beautiful gates of heaven…or they entered the dark gates of hell where you could already hear cries of pain coming form. I looked up from my observations and I noticed I was up. God looked at me and he laughed,”You have a question for me don’t you Charles!”

“Yes I do my lord!”

“What makes you think that you deserve this question? You were an evil man on earth and you did nothing for me you forsaken me long ago! Why should I listen to you? You were not repentant until now. But everyone wants to repent now…and they can’t! So what is your question Charles…I will hear it.”

“Lord the fact that you know my question….”

“What is the question Charles!”

“Lord I was wondering if instead of having one question may I have three…”

“God laughed!” You are cleaver! Did you really think that I would only allow one question? This comes from a joke does it not? Its origins are from man and not from God! But I will hear of your three questions.”

“God, my lord, would you be willing to make a deal with me?”

God laughed a good hard laugh… “This is where you want me to be intrigued isn’t it! Okay Charles I am wiling to consider it. What kind of deal do you want to make with me?”

Charles felt like an idiot for even thinking that God wouldn’t know what he was up to…yet God was listening…even though he knew what was coming!

“My lord, may I go back to the life of witch I came and try to live an honest life and live every moment for you…I promise I would LORD! I see now that you are real and I have NO doubts about you and I am sorry! I know I deserve to burn in hell for all eternity but God I know what is there! I don’t wish to suffer for all of eternity lord! Please God give me this chance to fix my mistakes!” Charles fell to his knees and cried. Jesus looked at his father and said… “Lord, why not give him this chance! He is repentant and I know he would do well.” So God looked as though he considered it “…all right. I will take this deal what is your third question.”

“Thank you I have to say lord thank you! My last question lord is…. What are your terms and rules of this agreement?”

The Contract for Charles Salvation

For your first life you shall repent of all of your sins, I mean truly repent, and do not repeat your sins as you learn that sin is indeed a sin. Some things we do are sins – yet we do not recognize them for what they are. There is no rule of what is an exact sin; just really a jist, selfishness is a sin, but what is selfish is determined by a person. Is it selfish to call “shot gun” to sit in the front seat of a car instead of letting somone else have it? Or is it not for selfish gain? Are you the oldest, and the younger ones need a car seat? Or is it just because you want it and you are always first? What would you consider a sin? Murder right? Conning someone out of their hard earned money? suicide? Glutiny? Il will to any person? Hmm? Charles, when thinking about this remember that the bible is like your field guide to life, I have provided the way for you to follow if only you would make it your way of life. For your first life you are to follow this rule, and I will keep you updated constantly with things I need you to do for me. Sort of a smaller task for you that I will call upon you for mulitiple other things within your lifetime I shall tell you through signs, and you will see them – hopefully – if you are open minded and keep your heart open. It will range from opening a door for an older couple, to helping out with mission trips, and most importantly saving a life. “Saving a life…Lord I am not a hero! I am a con man and I can do some of what you ask bu….” Charles, you said anything, and I do not expect you to run infront of a bus to save an old lady from superficial deth.” No I want you to SAVE a life. Make it certain that a persons soul is saved from the fires of hell and all its torments. I love my people, and I want them to love me charles. I ask of them that they would love me in return and keep my commands, I have offered a fool proof way practiacly for them to follow me, yet they do not because no one shows them how to. Number one on that list for you is your ex-wife you will marry her and you will love her, she will love you, accept you and never leave you if you show her the way. Now then you will know what I ask of you, and I will see you again after this life is over. I will be watching and waiting for your return charles. Everyone will be.


The first concious thought I had after speeking to God I was “yes!”


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    • ~Kimberly Kay~ profile image

      Kimberly Mattfield 23 months ago from Tacoma washington

      LOL! angry typos... can you tell i'm pissed?