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Mad Limericks for the Sports Enthusiast

Updated on May 20, 2021
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John values the use of humour and enjoys writing and reading limericks and jokes. He is a fan of Dr. Seuss, Edward Lear and Shel Silverstein


This is my third collection of limericks. I have always been interested in most sport, either playing or watching, and these limericks were inspired by that love. I hope they bring a smile, even to those readers who are not normally sports fans. You should still be able to enjoy the funny side.


Baseball Shortfall

There was a short fellow named Ditcher

Who became a most feared baseball pitcher.

Because of his height,

He filled batsmen with fright.

You never knew where he might hit ya'.

 Ian Thorpe finished in Athens with two gold medals, one silver and one bronze
Ian Thorpe finished in Athens with two gold medals, one silver and one bronze | Source

Suave Swimmer

A swimmer they called 'The Thorpedo'

Was faster than any torpedo.

Though when he retired

His speedos expired,

And now he just wears a tuxedo.


Ace of Base

A pretty horse trainer named Grace

Had a horse that she called 'Ace of Base'.

The mare wasn't fast,

It always came last.

So Grace's Ace of Base never placed.


Hard Yards

A sprightly young fellow named Clint

Ran in the 100 yard sprint.

He won by a yard,

Which was really quite hard,

For he had his left leg in a splint.


Dennis the Menace

A typical Aussie named Dennis

Just loved to play table tennis.

Though he played the game wrong,

For he couldn't ping pong.

So really, he was just a menace.



A very outdoorsy young gent

Was scolded to quite an extent.

For he never shut doors

Behind him, because,

He must have been born in a tent.


Vault Assault

A female athlete called Gault

Was the best in the world at pole vault.

She ran up so fast,

The pole snapped at the last.

She accused it of sexual assault.


What Ball?

A burly young guy named McCall

Whose favourite sport was football.

He ran very fast,

All defenders he passed.

Then found he'd forgotten the ball.

Michael Phelps wins gold.
Michael Phelps wins gold. | Source

Swimming Lessons

An Olympic Gold winner named Phelps,

To train younger swimmers, he helps.

Though he felt like a fool

When one swam 'cross the pool,

Dog paddling in between yelps.

Kobe vs Howard, Lakers vs Magic
Kobe vs Howard, Lakers vs Magic | Source

Drunk Dunker

A basketball player named Bryant,

To shun publicity he was defiant.

When he got rolling drunk,

And missed every slam dunk,

Paparazzi became Bryant reliant.


© 2014 John Hansen


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