Mad Limericks for the Sports Enthusiast
This is my third collection of limericks. I have always been interested in most sport, either playing or watching, and these limericks were inspired by that love. I hope they bring a smile, even to those readers who are not normally sports fans. You should still be able to enjoy the funny side.
There was a short fellow named Ditcher
Who became a most feared baseball pitcher.
Because of his height,
He filled batsmen with fright.
You never knew where he might hit ya'.
A swimmer they called 'The Thorpedo'
Was faster than any torpedo.
Though when he retired
His speedos expired,
And now he just wears a tuxedo.
Ace of Base
A pretty horse trainer named Grace
Had a horse that she called 'Ace of Base'.
The mare wasn't fast,
It always came last.
So Grace's Ace of Base never placed.
A sprightly young fellow named Clint
Ran in the 100 yard sprint.
He won by a yard,
Which was really quite hard,
For he had his left leg in a splint.
Dennis the Menace
A typical Aussie named Dennis
Just loved to play table tennis.
Though he played the game wrong,
For he couldn't ping pong.
So really, he was just a menace.
A very outdoorsy young gent
Was scolded to quite an extent.
For he never shut doors
Behind him, because,
He must have been born in a tent.
A female athlete called Gault
Was the best in the world at pole vault.
She ran up so fast,
The pole snapped at the last.
She accused it of sexual assault.
A burly young guy named McCall
Whose favourite sport was football.
He ran very fast,
All defenders he passed.
Then found he'd forgotten the ball.
An Olympic Gold winner named Phelps,
To train younger swimmers, he helps.
Though he felt like a fool
When one swam 'cross the pool,
Dog paddling in between yelps.
A basketball player named Bryant,
To shun publicity he was defiant.
When he got rolling drunk,
And missed every slam dunk,
Paparazzi became Bryant reliant.
© 2014 John Hansen