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"Making Decisions Within The Marriage Is The Responsibility Of Both Spouses"

Updated on February 1, 2011

"Making Decisions Within The Marriage Is The Responsiblity Of Both Spouses"

Making decision together help keep our relationships stable and grouned.
Making decision together help keep our relationships stable and grouned.

Making Decisions Within the Marriage Is The Responsibility of both spouses"

It's true, when we get married; we become one with the other, but it doesn't give one spouse the authority to make decisions without consulting with the other spouse. There are some husbands as well as some wives that want to make important decision without first, talking to or consulting with the other spouse. To do this is to cause, problems and undo strain within the marriage, because the hurt spouse that has not been consulted or kept abreast of things; will begin to feel alienated by the other spouse that left them out of the decision making process. This happen to me several times on occasions, and I can tell you from experience that it doesn't feel good at all.To be honest when something like this happens it make you feel like, your input doesn't matter in the least. I finally had to step in and make my presence known, and let them know; that I do have a say in this marriage. Sometimes, if we don't step in, they will make all the decisions, just like you're not there. This is why, we have step up and make waves, because every decision might not be a good one for you and you both have a say in the matter, whether they like it or not.

I know God put man as the head of the household, but man has an ob ligation to his other half too; to be treated equally and with respect. When we have to make decisions on matters that concerns both spouses, not just one; and if we disagree, there has to be a compromise that we both can live with. Both spouses has to be satisfied of the out come of the decision , because both spouses will have yo live with the decision. so, men and women, it will only make your spouse feel alienated and unworthy to be left out of the decision making process. When we're married it's always a two way street, it's we, not me or I ,that has to come up with a decision. We're suppose to do all things together in regards to how we're to live our lives. please remember, that marital decisions making involves both husband and wives, because if it doesn't include both spouse, that's going to cause undo trouble for the relationship. we have to remember, when we said I do.. we said it to an equal partnership and that means' in all areas of our married relationship, which includes decision making as well. Don't be selfish , make sure we include our spouses in all our decisions, so we can come up with a decision that both spouse can live with without causing confusion to the other spouse.This will at least show the spouse that you care about their input.

Benny Faye Douglass(C) copyrfight 2009

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    • creativeone59 profile imageAUTHOR

      benny Faye Douglass 

      7 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

      Thank you for your visit and comment Anonymous, I truely agree with you about shared decision between both spouses, but I cannot agree with you on there's no God, because I know he does exist in my life and I can't live without him. Godspeed. creativeone59

    • creativeone59 profile imageAUTHOR

      benny Faye Douglass 

      7 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

      I'm sorry confused, for taking for ever to get back with you, but I have had a couple computer break downs. I hope you anf your husband has come to some kind of agreement where both of you allowances for each other where everyone can it a share of the decision. I honestly pray that God will bless you to find work and answers to your need. Godspeed. creativeone59

    • profile image

      anonymous 

      7 years ago

      God said that man is the head is the household? Give me a break! Thats the biggest load of BS that I've heard in a while. It's because of unexamined beliefs like that that men think they can make decisions by themselves and that women oblige and submit. There is no god. But in a marriage none of the partners should make decisions that affect the other without talking to one another and reaching an agreement. Blessings!

    • Kerkedijk profile image

      Kerkedijk 

      8 years ago from Ireland

      I have been living abroad for years on and off and there is no place like home. I have just written my recent home-coming experience and know the fear you feel and the unhappiness and sense of loss. If you can return to your mother country, please do. It is better for you and for your children - you have the right to be happy too! I have learned that and you sometimes just have to put yourself first and the rest will follow. Making tough decisions is part of life so don't hesitate, we women are good at knowing with our gut feeling what is right for us and our children. Wishing you lots of success and sending you energy and hope. Kerkedijk.

    • profile image

      CONFUSED 

      8 years ago

      Hi, we live in my husbands country in europe. It is cold, dark and gray most of the time, and the schools do not have much of discipline or standards. My daughter does not like it here, and has not since we got here 4 years ago. I do not like it either, and I guess my verbal proclamation has made my husband believe that I am to blame for my daughter feeling the same way. Even though their are many benefits you get, for the high taxes you pay, it does not bring me happiness. I have alergy to cigarette smoke and almost everyone smokes, so you canot escpate it in your face when you go out, no matter where you go, not to mention the phelgm all over the sidewalks that you have look out for, or else walk in it! It is also very very expensive. I want to move back home, in the caribbean, but i am so scared to have to start all over again. Oh by the way, got so depressed, because having been here for almost 5 years, still i have found no job, so it has been very tough, and I have not been able to help my son and kids with their creative talents, because no budget to give them the piano, tennis or soccer lessons, and they are really good! There are problems in my home country too, but i feel i would be more happy there. Lots of decisions have to be made.

    • creativeone59 profile imageAUTHOR

      benny Faye Douglass 

      8 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

      Pmccray, I'm sure they all mean well, but we have to let them know that it hurts not to be included, just the same. Thank you for your comment and feedback. God bless. creativeone59

    • creativeone59 profile imageAUTHOR

      benny Faye Douglass 

      8 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

      Thank you for stopping by Audrey and leaving your precious comment and feedback. Blessings always. creativeone59

    • creativeone59 profile imageAUTHOR

      benny Faye Douglass 

      8 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

      Hi Joque, it's been a while but it's always a pleasure seeing you here. Thanks for stopping by and I holpe anything I said help you in your marraige seminar. Godspeed. creativeone59

    • creativeone59 profile imageAUTHOR

      benny Faye Douglass 

      8 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

      Thank you Micky and I agree with you 100%, thaank you for stopping by and leaving you comment and feedback. Godspeed. creativeone59

    • creativeone59 profile imageAUTHOR

      benny Faye Douglass 

      8 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

      Thank you Hello, for your comment and feedback On Decisions withn the marriage hub,I appreciate you. Godspeed. creativeone59

    • pmccray profile image

      pmccray 

      8 years ago from Utah

      creativeone59: this recently happened in my household and I threw a hissy fit. But I had to understand that he meant well, but it still ticked me off that this huge decision was made without my input. I can guarantee, it won't happen again. As you stated its like your opinion or input has no merit. Thanks for the hub, and have a wonderful evening.

    • akirchner profile image

      Audrey Kirchner 

      8 years ago from Washington

      Ah yes - it takes two - and the few times that Bob has made decisions without consulting me....well, let's just say they did not turn out too well. And of course being the nice, smooth-sailing wife that I am, I never got mad AT ALL - right! I think he remembers that most of all and decided after a few tries at being 'the dominant male' to decide to share the decision making! Great thoughts.

    • joque profile image

      joque 

      8 years ago

      Thank you creativeone, I'm going to use this in my marraige seminar tomorrow

    • Micky Dee profile image

      Micky Dee 

      8 years ago

      Too often there seems to be a dominant and a submissive. It should be equal. Thanks

    • Hello, hello, profile image

      Hello, hello, 

      8 years ago from London, UK

      I wish every man would listen to you or read your hub. Most man think they as they are the master of the house. Thank you for a very good subject raised.

    • creativeone59 profile imageAUTHOR

      benny Faye Douglass 

      8 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

      You are correct Veronica, thank you for stopping by and leaving your comment and feedback. creativeone59

    • Veronica Allen profile image

      Veronica Allen 

      8 years ago from Georgia

      A great example of man listening and including his wife in his decision, is when God told Abraham to listen to the voice of his wife Sarah when they were making a life changing decision.

      This is a great reminder to all married couples creativeone, that although the man is the head, the wife's suggestions or opinions should be taken into consideration and valued.

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