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Male Muse Wanted Immediately

Updated on January 28, 2009
Zeus
Zeus

I’m finding little time to sit and be creative lately, and when I do finally sit at my desk and start writing, I’m not able to produce anything that I truly like. So I tried calling out for any of the 10 Muses to please come and muse me. None of them showed up. I've pleaded and wailed and begged with my heart full of anguish and despair, yet none of them appeared. I've thrashed in my bed for countless sleepless nights crying for them to come to me. Nada.

Oh well. Someone else must be hogging them, and I have my suspicions about which hubbers are hogging the muses. But that’s fine. Who needs a female nymph muse? Not me. Who says a man can’t be a muse? Now that would be a very interesting twist. So I’m putting out an advertisement to recruit male muses. I’m sure they’re out there just waiting to be called upon. Sorry ladies, I think we need to give guys a chance to muse, and I'd love to be the one who starts the new muse revolution. What follows are the needed qualifications, sample interview questions, and basically what I will expect from my new male muse.

Necessary Qualifications:

  • You must have muse-like qualities: an ethereal air of divine superiority with a touch of softness, high intelligence, and your clothing should be flowing and sparse revealing most of your assets. The outfit of choice will be gladiator sandals and a loin cloth. Since an ethereal air is difficult for a human to achieve, I will also consider a candidate who simply amuses me.
  • You should be able to produce a family tree showing some connection to Apollo or Zeus. If you cannot produce such family genealogy, then having a body that looks like Apollo or Zeus will be sufficient.
  • You must be able to inspire me. You may do this through humor, dance, music, poetry, letting me copy your writing or by looking like a Greek God. A little Greek God dancing would be quite inspirational.
  • Dragon slaying experience is preferred but not required. Simply looking like you have dragon slaying ability is very good. A willingness to play dragon slaying games is even better as long as you remember that I am always the slayer and you are always the dragon.
  • At least 2 years experience in musing or amusement is required.
  • You must be willing to do some cooking and light housework. Hey, I can’t do those things and write too. I’m an artist. Frankly, if you can’t cook and clean while musing me, then you needn’t apply. Please take immediate note that I am most easily mused by roast beef and mashed potatoes.

The Interview

Send or post your resume here along with a list of references immediately. After I review all the resumes, I will start the interview process where you will be expected to answer some very common interview questions, such as:

  • What makes you think you would be a good muse for me?
  • When was the last time you mused for someone?
  • Can you muse 24/7? Why or why not?
  • Have you ever been fired from musing?
  • Can you bake a chocolate cake?
  • Can you throw lightning bolts like Zeus? If so, would you be willing to throw lightning bolts at my adversaries?
  • Can you get those nasty coffee stains out of clothing in the laundry pile?  

After all the candidates have been interviewed, I will choose 5 people to proceed forth with the loin cloth competition. I advise you to come prepared and to be well oiled. Tardiness will not be acceptable and will result in your immediate dismissal...unless you look like Apollo or Zeus or find some other way to amuse me into forgiving you. Suggesting some dragon slayer role-playing would be highly advisable if you are tardy.

Muses dancing with Apollo
Muses dancing with Apollo

Compensation:

Your compensation will be the internal gratification you receive by inspiring me to produce large volumes of written material that will be loved and adored by everyone. Plus you will go down in history as the first male muse to successfully inspire a talentless aging writer to greatness.

Of course, you will be given a proper muse name, like Harmonicas or Acidophilus, and accommodations will be made for you in my dungeon…I mean basement. We will have a lovely time with me writing and you musing and cleaning and musing and cooking and musing some more.

Now make haste! Brush up on your musing skills and prepare to inspire me to hire you!

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    • profile image

      5 years ago

      Good luck finding that which sight can only be given by the muse itself. Curious if you never seen the muse how will you know when it declares itself so? Ps you don't card a god. lol

    • profile image

      John Ketseas 6 years ago

      Perhaps overqualified but here I am:

      https://picasaweb.google.com/107016037887630884274...

    • Pam Roberson profile image
      Author

      Pam Roberson 6 years ago from Virginia

      That means you've been cranking out some writing that I've been missing and I need to go have a look pronto. A service sounds like a good plan! But you're potent enough...I shudder to think of what would develop if you also had a potent muse.

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Pam maybe you should start a service, matching blocked writers with potent muses. I'm keeping myself amused these days but will definitely be knocking on your hub should I run dry again.

    • Pam Roberson profile image
      Author

      Pam Roberson 6 years ago from Virginia

      Oh Randy, what a versatile, smart, handy, and mighty hot muse my johnny is! Mercy. He's quite possibly the most musing muse I've ever had the pleasure to grasp...mentally of course. ;) Stamped approved! I'm tickled! :D

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Curious how the..ehemm... grasping is going?

    • the johnny profile image

      the johnny 6 years ago from San Luis Obispo,Ca

      I am excited to .I have already noticed some subtle changes on my end .i give freely so feel free to grasp all you want .

      Your Johnny

    • Pam Roberson profile image
      Author

      Pam Roberson 6 years ago from Virginia

      How adorable! The contract is in the mail. :) Don't worry, it's not terribly legal nor is it terribly illegal. ;) :) I'm excited...in the artistic sense of course. ;)

    • the johnny profile image

      the johnny 6 years ago from San Luis Obispo,Ca

      I wish you and Randy didnt have hot profile pics .I have the feeling i may have pulled the yellow tape off the entry way of a seductive crime scene. I am so your muse now .Where do I sign

    • Pam Roberson profile image
      Author

      Pam Roberson 6 years ago from Virginia

      LOL Randy! Yes, I am feeling quite stirred (first person even), and perhaps it's time for me to ask "the johnny" if he'd be willing to do a very simple name change to "my johnny." :) My Johnny the muse of muses. :)

      BTW Johnny, I like that saying about get off the cross. Very nice. :) And it is often true that what goes around comes around in the musing business. ;) So are you mine yet?

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Surely this young Muse, Pam, has stirred in you some literary genius. Even I feel a stirring third person!

    • the johnny profile image

      the johnny 6 years ago from San Luis Obispo,Ca

      Good morning Pam, "Rain Dancer" now there is some material for ya .I l luv your advice .Sharing is good .I have actually told my story from podieums before large groups.Writing is so in my own face and scary.I have all the exceuses for not finishing . One of my spiritual advisors told me very boldly to "Get off the cross we need the wood Johnny .I wrote 4 pages after that .

      It must be true .Every muse has a good muse

      Ciao Girl

    • Pam Roberson profile image
      Author

      Pam Roberson 6 years ago from Virginia

      Dear Johnny, the only thing, I think, that defines a writer is desire to write and the willingness to attempt to dedicate oneself to learn how to follow some basic mechanics so that the reader can follow what you're trying to say. The desire part is huge. Why don't you consider sharing some of yourself in a hub?

      Thank you, and I'll be waiting for that sparkling moment. :) Ciao and adieu rain dancer.

    • the johnny profile image

      the johnny 6 years ago from San Luis Obispo,Ca

      I have been writing a book as well.Its called "Hub Caps"

      A true story of my life .I havent put the pen to the paper for months .Trouble is i am not a writer .Its interesting that I end up on a hubpage. Pam please feel free to contact me if needed thru my profile .

      I am hoping the material you wish for comes to you in a sparkling moment of clarity today .Its actuall more likely to happen this evening for you .Ciao Bella

    • Pam Roberson profile image
      Author

      Pam Roberson 6 years ago from Virginia

      Patty...could be, could be. I happen to be ready to fire my current muse. Great roast beef and gams are one thing, but I need material! This has become most unsatisfactory. ;)

      Johnny, I have the most high appreciation for a muse who stands in the rain allowing it to pelt his face. Lovely. Adieu

    • the johnny profile image

      the johnny 6 years ago from San Luis Obispo,Ca

      Wow ! Thank you for that .This is really stretching my comfort zone .I must be where i am supposed to be.i hope everyone is having a great weekend .Its raining here in Cali nonstop .Im am going outside and let it hit my face for a while .After your kind words pam it only seems right to do so Ciao for now

    • Patricia Costanzo profile image

      Patricia Costanzo 6 years ago from Behind the Redwood Curtain

      Perhaps that's him?

    • Pam Roberson profile image
      Author

      Pam Roberson 6 years ago from Virginia

      It sounds like you were born a natural muse. How fortunate for you and those you muse! You have indeed mused me! Use your powers wisely and may the force continue to shine its light upon you. :)

    • the johnny profile image

      the johnny 6 years ago from San Luis Obispo,Ca

      i am not a self proclaimed muse.I have been called that before.I am someone who helps people in many areas of life .I wasnt even sure what a muse was.I started researching it .Then I googled male muse to find out if there was such a thing and landed here .If I can be helpful to please let me know . I am not incharge of who i help and dont normally pic them .It just seems to happen have a good day pam and thanks for welcoming me

    • Pam Roberson profile image
      Author

      Pam Roberson 6 years ago from Virginia

      Thank you for following your calling to be here johnny. :)

    • the johnny profile image

      the johnny 6 years ago from San Luis Obispo,Ca

      I am here now .just flollowing where I am led to be

    • profile image

      Milos 6 years ago

      I am a muse and have been inspired by muses, but not in person. To say that I am a creative coach is more appealing than life coach. I have not inspired those that do not know me yet. I am available as a virtual muse.

    • habee profile image

      Holle Abee 7 years ago from Georgia

      Too funny! I think De Greek is the man you seek!

    • Pam Roberson profile image
      Author

      Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia

      malcx...you mean the hexagonal laundry isn't finished yet? Scarlet pumpkins and dungeons of stars...very interesting indeed. Chat away Mr. Malcx. :)

    • malcx profile image

      malcx 7 years ago

      Well here! we are , thoughts flow from scarlet pumpkins around the dungeon of stars to hexagonal laundry, Umm we need to chat

    • Pam Roberson profile image
      Author

      Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia

      epigramman, you are tooooo musing! You do your title justice! Your fellow martians must be so proud of you!

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 7 years ago

      greetings again earthling - it is Epigramman from Mars.

      And it took me so long to scroll down to the bottom of this screen that Jim Morrison returned from his sabbatical in Paris and knocked on my door singing 'BREAK ON THROUGH TO THE OTHER SIDE - BREAK ON THROUGH TO THE OTHER SIDE'

      ....when I read this hubmania that you write - I break on through to the other side!

    • Pam Roberson profile image
      Author

      Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia

      LOL epigramman! You would be the first Martian Muse! How can I resist? You are hereby granted the title of Prince Martian Muse Epigramman-opolis. Please go forth and muse earthlings!

      Thanks for reading! :)

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 7 years ago

      it took me so long to scroll down to the bottom of this screen that the NFL football season has just started and it's still June!

      Well well well I could be your muse - I am funny, intelligent, loaded and from Mars - and the Martian people have sent me earthling to your planet on a mission to discover hubtastic talent such as yourself!

      And you are the exception to the rule - a creative anomaly!

    • Pam Roberson profile image
      Author

      Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia

      Mr. Zachrodisiac! I'm honored that you'd even consider applying when you're so clearly qualified. The ability to breathe fire and smoulder a dash of smoke with each exhalation is beyond my expectations, and I could care less if you can cook or clean! Just breathe honey! Just breathe!! :D

      Ooh me, okay, I think I've composed myself enough to thank you for taking the time to enter my lair. I'm most humbled and you are now Prince Muse Zachrodisiac the High Prince of Muses! Muse away!

    • randslam profile image

      Rand Zacharias 7 years ago from Kelowna, British Columbia

      Zachrodisiac here applying for the job, ma'am...ms...or miss...I, too, do not wish to offend. I believe my credentials are in order...though I'm somewhat softer in my 40's than I was in my 30's. You see, I've become a writer and lost a little bit of the Adonas body thing.

      I have slain dragons...pursued young children held hostage and rescued them...I breathe in fire and smoulder with each exhalation a dash of smoke.

      I shall stop now. What a great idea...the male muse. It is this Lancelotian dreamer's most exquisite wish to inspire and "amuse." Thank you for doing the same...just joined your fan club.

      Appreciatively,

      Rand

    • Pam Roberson profile image
      Author

      Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia

      Al, you are too kind, and I appreciate you taking the time to read this! :) Thank you for the generous comment, and I'll look forward to reading your hubs this weekend because I must find out more about a kind person such as yourself who also has a good sense of humor. :)

    • Mystique1957 profile image

      Mystique1957 7 years ago from Caracas-Venezuela

      Dear Pam...

      I´ve gotta hand it to you. That was funny, subtle and with very good taste! You say you are talentless? Wow, isn´t that a bit cocky? You have made me chuckle a lot tonight! Thanks for sharing!

      Warmest regards and infinite heavenly blessings,

      Al

    • Pam Roberson profile image
      Author

      Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia

      Dohn! Unless I'm mistaken, you're a friend of Cris A's (I've seen your comments on his hubs right?), and any friend of his is OKAY with me! You're in! :)

      You can start musing people any time you wish--but I think you already are. The certificate is in the mail, and you can add the title of "Prince" before your name. I would suggest wearing a loin cloth, but it's really up to you. ;)

      Have fun Prince Muse Dohn! Or would you rather be called Acidophilus? :D

    • dohn121 profile image

      dohn121 7 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

      Wow! I was very, er..."Amused." And to reply to Maximus' inquiry:"Are you not entertained?" I am! Reading this certainly made my night. So are you still accepting applications?

      Dohn

    • Pam Roberson profile image
      Author

      Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia

      Ah you!! Because you are musing me beyond belief, and my stuff is hideous compared to yours. HIDEOUS I say!

    • De Greek profile image

      De Greek 7 years ago from UK

      HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUgely funny! Why did you tell me not to read your other stuff?

    • Pam Roberson profile image
      Author

      Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia

      Snag, you surpass my most selfish expectations and big, blue marbles are cool. You must be mine! My heart beats with paradoxical excitement. :D

      Thanks for the awesome comment!

    • profile image

      Snag 7 years ago

      I am thaumaturgist,the original,the only one that can fulfill all your criteria.

      Reluctant hero, clueless poet, voiceless balladeer,great cook,construtive hypocrite,housebroke,richest broke man you'll ever meet,I can count pennies while wearing a see through blindfold and not only that.since you are a goddsess of Erato, you will never be shy of inspiration.

      I slay,neuter,and reprimand dragons,I quell and or incite riots, I can start wars,end wars and mediate wars,(not real crazy about that one),I love peace,and pieces of love, I know a little about herbs and their benefits,I can cut onions without crying,and I love garlic.

      My life experience has thought me that everybody has an opionion, be it at a best,a good one, or one induced by drugs.

      This big,blue marble,is all we have.

      Without us she will not survive,neither will we.

    • Pam Roberson profile image
      Author

      Pam Roberson 8 years ago from Virginia

      Hi Christofers Flow! Now let's see here...I'm going to check off each correct answer concerning me and my muse plan:

      Idealistic - YES!

      Selfish - YES!

      Off base - You bet!

      Misguided - Totally!

      Wonderful creature - Ah, well, this is the only error. I am but a desperate, pathetic creature who will stop at nothing for a cheap laugh. All the more reason for me to be mused immediately. The madness must stop.

      You sir just might be the ultimate muse for seeing through my cloak of neediness, but I'm not feeling very pissed off. Hmmm. ;) Oh well, it was nice to meet you!

      Thanks for coming in! :)

    • Christofers Flow profile image

      Christofer French 8 years ago from Denver

      This is a great way to get conversations going, and so I do not restrain myself. I am your ultimate muse, but I know what you need to get inspired. You can't have a list of qualifications for your muse -- that's an idealistic selfish little plan for yourself so you can have a date AND a muse. No, your muse comes with his own set of qualifications and you decide to listen or not. I like the way you have handled this though, even though your are completely off base and misguided. You're a wonderful creature who really does need a muse. You are reaching out, and that's what is most important. See - that's what a muse does, he gets under your skin and pisses you off. That is what a muse does. After he pisses you off, you create.

    • Pam Roberson profile image
      Author

      Pam Roberson 8 years ago from Virginia

      Cris! I really dig that new photo of yours! Yes, I AM in dire need of a muse again. I didn't realize that male muses could be so, um, flighty. ;) They muse you, then they leave you for someone new. Someone should write a song about it. :D

      I'm wallowing in happiness for sure, but it's not in online poker! (not yet!) LOL! I miss you Cris, and I really look forward to catching up on all your fabulous writing and poetry. You're the bestest. :) Thanks for checking in!

    • Cris A profile image

      Cris A 8 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      hey pammy!

      well my dear friend, it seems you are in dire need again for a male muse! next time, don't be too choosy - you need, really need, to write again!

      PS I hope online poker has not consumed you totally - if it has, well i just hope your wallowing in extreme and out-of-this-world happiness :D

    • Pam Roberson profile image
      Author

      Pam Roberson 8 years ago from Virginia

      Dear Jeb, While I normally like to have a resume to look at, the fact that you think you love me is enough to make you qualify as a muse of the highest regard. I look forward to your musings! :D

      Thanks for coming in to read. :)

    • profile image

      Jeb 8 years ago

      I think I love you, and also, that I qualify.

    • Pam Roberson profile image
      Author

      Pam Roberson 8 years ago from Virginia

      Dianacharles, thank you! Yes, Christoph's application was impressive, and he had more muse that one woman can handle. All of them are so good that they are now musing as they wish, but you've given me an idea that I'm going to be thinking about. Thank you! :D

    • dianacharles profile image

      dianacharles 8 years ago from India

      Oh boy...what a great hub and I see all the muses have been hard-selling themselves. So any favourites Pam...its been 3 months?? I thought Christoph's application was quite well delivered ;), though hairy A.S.S, and so many of the others seem to have their merits......lol

    • Pam Roberson profile image
      Author

      Pam Roberson 8 years ago from Virginia

      Randy, you're hysterical! Claim away and enjoy! Mr. hairy is quite the rascal though, and he might try to booze you up with rotgut moonshine, but he's rather irresistable in an outback kind of way. ;)

      Yes hairy, you are hereby mused, so don't waste too much energy in battle tonight. ;)

    • profile image

      hairy A.S.S. 8 years ago

      Well Cap'n Queeq as well as you have done against this vagabond of a pirot we must be awf and plan our attack on him. Looks like I got the arse as a muse anyway. Who is this man they call Tom comin in ear with all his funny words strolls in ear wif half a dozen words and she'd ooked mate. Come on mate I gotta patch up old hairy ass !

      a bit like Blazing Saddles ain't it?

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 8 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Pam, remember, way up there somewhere, you said I could have a go at whomever you didn't select. (sloppy seconds) Remember?Remember? I'm here to claim my booty... harem... what hub is this?

    • Pam Roberson profile image
      Author

      Pam Roberson 8 years ago from Virginia

      Sheena, thank you! Actually I'm considering Pest because he has the attitude of a muse with all of the self gratification that he speaks of. I think he'd work quite well! :) Thanks for coming in for some musing. :)

      Laughing Mom, your comments are always appreciated no matter what you care to talk about...and this one is a really sweet one! Thanks! Actually, Christoph did such a great job with the questions, that he made my part easy. :D Thanks again!

      Now I'm really off to bed!

    • Pam Roberson profile image
      Author

      Pam Roberson 8 years ago from Virginia

      The Real Captain...oh my! What a combat roll that was to behold! Hair extensions on "The Captain?" I'm so confused, but I'm very impressed with your nimble moves and brazen actions! I'm off to bed, so please help yourself to the snacks, and clean up the blood before you leave. :D

    • Laughing Mom profile image

      Laughing Mom 8 years ago

      Not to get serious or anything around here, but Pam, I thought you and Christoph pulled off one great interview!!!

    • sheenarobins profile image

      sheenarobins 8 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      LOL, Pam. This is extremely musing me. No one is going to qualify. Not even Pest. On second thought, what would you do if Pest applies and qualifies. heheheh

      Love it!

    • Pam Roberson profile image
      Author

      Pam Roberson 8 years ago from Virginia

      Tom's hired! That penetrating gaze beneath the arched brow is so intense that I'm overwhelmed with musing thoughts. I must retire before I have a heart attack or something. :D

    • profile image

      The Real Captain 8 years ago

      In a somewhat surreal segue from an entirely differently hub, The Real Captain dives through an open window, performs a perfect combat roll, and flips up to his feet. With an effortless sweeping motion, he uses his exquisitely polished shoe to scoop up the nearest weapon. He brandishes the jackalope like a true master. A few quick moves, and The Captain's cheap hair extensions decorate the the floor. "I call that the rape of the lock!", he proclaims.

    • Pam Roberson profile image
      Author

      Pam Roberson 8 years ago from Virginia

      Captain, how generous of you and your muscular self to leave your ship and visit my muse lair. I'm honored! Although I fear Chi Chi's wrath. So let's stick to business...you are clearly muse material with your puffy pirate sleeves and other things that are very manly, so you're hired. Now I understand that your captain duties come first, so a little moonlighting will be fine. ;) Or would you prefer the position of simply keeping the muses in line? That works too as long as I can watch you as you work. :D

    • Tom Rubenoff profile image

      Tom Rubenoff 8 years ago from United States

      The muse merely must appear and look you in the eyes, awakening within that which you fantasize.

      My work is done here.

    • Pam Roberson profile image
      Author

      Pam Roberson 8 years ago from Virginia

      hairy, Sheila would like a fire, but she's a little worried about the rotgut moonshine. The last time she had moonshine she got amnesia, lost her shoes, and broke her toe.

      I'll go see if Amazon has some of those ornots! :D

    • The Captain profile image

      The Captain 8 years ago from The Carribean

      The Captain swings into the hub on a rope, he long locks flowing behind him like silk in the wind.  He draws his saber and quickly draws a bloody letter C on hairy A.A.S.'s hairy behind.  The Captain turns to the Lady Roberson.

      "M lady," the Captain said in his deep, rich baritone that made her golden skin all goose bumpy.  "It seems hairy A.S.S. will be otherwise engaged recuperating with the Aborigine's of the outback."  I kindly offer my superior and muscular services."  He then bowed low to the Lady Roberson. Unseen, the wounded A.S.S., from his crumpled position on the hub floor, eyed the Captains tush hungrily.

    • profile image

      hairy A.S.S. 8 years ago

      Cor blimey Ag ewe were right cobber. Now awl i gotta do is get me won of those old loin cloths or an ornot. Hey Ag wats an ornot.?

      I reckon I'll just take me pure merino sheep skin blanket and get this sheila in front of a nice warm fire with a bottle of me best rotgut moonshine. I wonder if youse could find us a pair of those matchin ornots  ?

      This Jewels sheila worries me a bit with this wet suit thing shes got on. Derya reckon you could find her a ornot two ?

    • Pam Roberson profile image
      Author

      Pam Roberson 8 years ago from Virginia

      Mr. hairy A.S.S., while you haven't followed the traditional muse application protocol, I find you very musing. That raw commanding tone of yours is stimulating as well. I think you'll be GREAT! You are hired loin cloth unseen. In fact, wear what you wish! Or not! :D

      B.T., Frieda will be so happy to hear that you're available on Tuesdays and Thursdays. What a sport you are! Looks like you'll be booked on Wednesday's with Jewels as well! You certainly are one busy jackalope with your world domination plans, new construction job, writing, and freelance musing. ;)

      Jewels, you are a wise woman to overlook narcisstic behavior and go for the body. I hope that B.T. will have an opening for you on Wednesdays. If not, Mr. A.S.S. certainly appears to be very qualified. :)

    • B.T. Evilpants profile image

      B.T. Evilpants 8 years ago from Hell, MI

      Hey Sue! I've been looking for you for days! A tag team sounds fun! Who's askin'?

    • profile image

      bunyip named sue 8 years ago

      I could do a tag team with BT Evilpants if thats of any interest to you.?

    • Jewels profile image

      Jewels 8 years ago from Australia

      Muses have always been narcisstic. Self gratification is their top priority. Regardless I'm partial to a good body. I'll take the Wednesday in between Frieda's Tuesday and Thursdays.

    • B.T. Evilpants profile image

      B.T. Evilpants 8 years ago from Hell, MI

      I still do freelance musing. Strangely enough, I am only available Tuesdays and Thursdays. And for birthday parties (adults only, please).

      @Hairy: I think I saw The Captain over in the forums. You had better go have a look!

    • profile image

      hairy A.S.S. 8 years ago

      Strewth what a bloody line up of wimps you got ear.

      A good lookin sheila like ewe can do betteren that that.

      I'm well kwalified at this ear "musin" thing, whatever it be, we do somthin like that to the sheep.

      So tell those other guys to bugger off ya got yaself a real muse.

      Go grab ya laptop, cuddle up to old hairy ass and tap away to ya earts content. I'm only available for a short time, so ya betta get in early.

    • Pam Roberson profile image
      Author

      Pam Roberson 8 years ago from Virginia

      Frieda, you are a riot! You never fail to make me smile and I adore you for that. :) Thank you for forwarding this one. It was quite generous of you and I do get such a kick out of being passed around. lol!

      All these guys were so grand that I had to make them all official muses and then set them free. So call upon them on Tuesdays and Thursdays at your will, but be forewarned, it appears they are quite busy musing themselves these days!

      Thanks again Frieda!

    • Frieda Babbley profile image

      Frieda Babbley 8 years ago from Saint Louis, MO

      I read this back when it first came out and forwarded it to a whole bunch of people. It cracked me up into a million pieces. I think I even have it bookmarked. I came back to see what my comment was, cuase I couldn't remember, and noticed, OMG I didn't comment. So I'm commenting now, months later. Awesome hub. Thoroughly enjoyable. Delicious. So did you ever hire one? If so, did he turn out to be a good choice? If so can I borrow him on Tuesdays and Thursdays?

    • Christoph Reilly profile image

      Christoph Reilly 8 years ago from St. Louis

      Thanks for the Pamiriffic plug!

    • Pam Roberson profile image
      Author

      Pam Roberson 8 years ago from Virginia

      Randy, lol! Thanks! No I haven't used it before. It just popped into my mind. You can blame or give credit to Christoph for making me think about hub-isms after reading his latest hub. :D

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 8 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Pam, have you use "hubgasm" before? That's hilarious!

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      Pam Roberson 8 years ago from Virginia

      Good idea Cindy! I'm feeling the distinct subtle waves of a hubgasm just thinking of it! I must try to consult with him today. Good thinking! :D

    • cindyvine profile image

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Pest will make a good muse I think. He has the physique that would look stunning with a loincloth

    • Pam Roberson profile image
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      Pam Roberson 8 years ago from Virginia

      Hello Jewels, Feline, and Cindy! Oh the misery and angst I must report at this time. I ended up declaring that all of the applicants are official muses, and now they have all fled off on their merry musing ways to other ventures either musing themselves or others! Hence, I've been left hubless for a month! OH woe is me! But it's a sacrifice I was willing to make. They were all so good that I had to set them free. :D

      However, if I put out another ad, I'll be calling on you three to assist me in the process! The loin clothes do hang quite nicely on these fellows. ;)

      Thank you all for coming in!

    • cindyvine profile image

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Can I come along to help judge. Fancy seeing how well the loin clothes hang

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      Feline Prophet 8 years ago

      Looks like I missed it too! So tell us Pam...did you find a likely candidate?

    • Jewels profile image

      Jewels 8 years ago from Australia

      Darn I missed this hub in it's prime time! Was so funny.

    • Pam Roberson profile image
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      Pam Roberson 8 years ago from Virginia

      Thanks Randy! I appreciate you coming in to read this one. :) Actually, I'll tell you a secret, but don't tell anyone...all these guys are too hawt for me to handle. Now the not so secret part is that I gave them all entitlement to muse away. They are all official and free! :D Have fun!

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 8 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Pam, this is hilarious!!! Can I have your rejects? They still need to clean but I can kill my own dragons.

    • Pam Roberson profile image
      Author

      Pam Roberson 8 years ago from Virginia

      LOL! After reading your hubs, I see that you are muse material for sure. So carry on! Muse away and hurl those lightning bolts at anyone you desire...just not at me please. ;)

      Thanks for coming in for a read. I appreciate it. :)

    • TheRealTruth profile image

      TheRealTruth 8 years ago from Virginia

      Hmm......a male muse, eh? I HAVE been working on my lightning throwing ability....hmm. I'll have to give it some thought.

    • Pam Roberson profile image
      Author

      Pam Roberson 8 years ago from Virginia

      CC...ROFL! I'm slightly aware of the Reilly factor, but I'm way way behind. Thanks for the alert!

      We had to switch our internet service to satellite, and they limit our usage. We've already exceeded our 30 day allowance, so my internet time is limited to a REAL quick email check and scanning through hubpages. :( No time to read hardly anything and comment. :( It's so SAD!

      Will be playing catch up when we drop back down to the allowed percentage. I hate satellite. :(

    • profile image

      C. C. Riter 8 years ago

      Pam, one of your Muses is now elevated to Cult Leader Status. Beware of the Reilly factor.

    • The Old Firm profile image

      The Old Firm 8 years ago from Waikato/Bay Of Plenty, New Zealand

      Like the well brought up young lady: Never smoked, never drank, and only swore when it slipped out.

    • The Old Firm profile image

      The Old Firm 8 years ago from Waikato/Bay Of Plenty, New Zealand

      Have a few drinks BT, you'll probably slip out if you're well oiled.

    • B.T. Evilpants profile image

      B.T. Evilpants 8 years ago from Hell, MI

      It's...very...tight! I might have to shift into four wheel drive! I knew I shoulda gone with the half-kilt.

    • Proud Mom profile image

      Proud Mom 8 years ago from USA

      Well, you backed in. Forward out.

    • B.T. Evilpants profile image

      B.T. Evilpants 8 years ago from Hell, MI

      Nighty night, Pam. I'll be along to tuck you in, shortly. First I have to figure out how to get out of this damned unitard.

    • Pam Roberson profile image
      Author

      Pam Roberson 8 years ago from Virginia

      Thanks for coming in Proud Mom. :) You're right, those loin clothes don't do much flowing. lol!

      BT...ROFL tenderloin cloth! And the half kilt thing is a hoot to imagine. :D

      You all are too funny! I'm off to bed. Have a good one, and thanks for the laughs. ;) There has to be something VERY healthy about laughing your butt off before going to sleep. :D

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      C. C. Riter 8 years ago

      Once a lopeajackpoo got tuck lucked in a utoo. what am I going todo said hetu slefme, I know Pam, where the iscorsis at?

    • B.T. Evilpants profile image

      B.T. Evilpants 8 years ago from Hell, MI

      It does indeed! It's got me thinking about my half-kilt, again! Or maybe the tenderloin cloth.

    • Pam Roberson profile image
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      Pam Roberson 8 years ago from Virginia

      Thanks A LOT CC! :P First I got a laugh that you were giving me a poke in the ribs, then I really got a big laugh over the video!! :D It's almost worth having that silly song stuck in my head. ;)

      That's right BT, spandex does kinda make your body feel airy and good, and I'll bet it really shows off your hocks. ;)

    • Proud Mom profile image

      Proud Mom 8 years ago from USA

      Wait a minute!! Unitards and TuTus?!!?!?? What happened to the required loin cloth?

      I'd like to see C.C. do one of his Tolden Goad things on this hub!!!!

    • Proud Mom profile image

      Proud Mom 8 years ago from USA

      Had to come see what all the hubtivity is about.

      A question, Pam. How is a loin cloth flowing? Not much there to flow.

      Very funny!! And excellent candidates.

    • The Old Firm profile image

      The Old Firm 8 years ago from Waikato/Bay Of Plenty, New Zealand

      And you're the guy who got it into a tutu BT!!

    • profile image

      C. C. Riter 8 years ago

    • B.T. Evilpants profile image

      B.T. Evilpants 8 years ago from Hell, MI

      Wrestlers and bodybuilders wear spandex, too. I'm just flexing my muse muscle a bit! Also, this thing really breathes! Besides, you're the guy that hangs out with the tu-tu wearing bear. How kinky is that?

      Thanks CCR. That means a lot to me.

      Sorry, Pam. I was going for In The Navy, or maybe YMCA.

    • profile image

      C. C. Riter 8 years ago

      You know BT, with those macho antlers I htink you can carry it off.

    • Pam Roberson profile image
      Author

      Pam Roberson 8 years ago from Virginia

      Silly me, being a woman you'd think I'd know you have to back into a unitard. ;)

      CC, you can wear a kilt if you want. Heck, now that you're a prince, you can wear what you like. :D

      ROFL...um, Ozzie is the Prince of Darkness, but that's still a good one TOF. :D

      Now you've done it BT, I've got that Macho Man song in my head and it won't go away. lol!