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Mind your womb

Updated on July 2, 2016

She was exhausted. She was desperate. She was tired of waiting. She was lost in thoughts. She turned over to see his face. The face of the man that she loved the most in the entire world.

There they were, lying close to each other after having had the soulful union of their bodies. But there was some bareness replacing the spark that they were believed to have had, each time they lost themselves in the process of making love.

It was evident that it was not as it should have been because they did not end up in the bed as the powerful emotion of love took over in a matter of seconds, making them restless until they give themselves to each other. These days, it was different. Different in a less desirable way. Not that they did not love each other anymore. They still loved each other and cared and respected each other immensely.

She was sick. She was sick of having to force herself and him to do it when it has to happen by itself. She was sick of having to plan and do it at the "right time" as they say. She was sick of having to do it at the time her doctors advises them to do it. She was sick of having to do it and wait like a school boy waiting for his test results. She was sick of having to do it over and over again and wait for it desperately.

She was sick of all the medicines. She was sick of all the people questioning her. She was sick of all the longing. She was sick of all the waiting. She was sick of the sorrow that had slowly started taking over her life. She was sick of the envy she incurred on other women who had children that complete their beautiful family. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she wondered why she could not conceive after all that she had been sacrificing including her happiness.

On the other hand, there was the other woman. A woman in the dilemma as whether to call herself a girl or a woman. She was lonely with nobody but her pillow to listen to her and bear her tears. All she could feel was regret. She was sixteen. A few months ago, She was innocent. She was happy. She was drunk in her sweet first love.

She felt like she was pulled straight into a fairytale. She felt that she was the luckiest and happiest person in the entire world. Just when she thought things could not get any better, she entered into the beautiful world of romance where she lost herself to him. It felt like a dream. It felt magical.

The over whelming experience slowly died and started exposing its true colours. She missed her period. She fell sick. She threw up. Her belly started swelling up. She was scared. She was nervous. She gathered her scattered pieces of courage and decided to take the pregnancy test with a small ray of hope that it would fail.Her hope gave up on her. She was devastated. Everything desserted her except for fear and regret and the tender soul that was already loathed and had blossomed in her womb.


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