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Monster in My Kitchen

Updated on October 23, 2012
Photo Credit: daughter Monika Simbajon
Photo Credit: daughter Monika Simbajon | Source
Just playing with colours. This Venus Fly Trap came all the way from Chicago to Toronto.
Just playing with colours. This Venus Fly Trap came all the way from Chicago to Toronto. | Source

Monster in My Kitchen or Samuel L. Jackson? –a Venus Fly Trap story


“Mom, look a fly trap plant!”

“Where did you find that?”

“I didn’t find it; I mean yeah, I found it in a store in Chicago. I’ve wanted this all my life just like the Sea Monkeys!”

“And you were able to bring that back to Toronto?”

“Mom, duh! I came back with it, isn’t that obvious?”

“How are you gonna take care of that?”

“It is easy. It needs only distilled water. Do we have any? Also, rain water will do. Don’t water it with water from the faucet, it will kill it. Also, it only survives in peat moss or poor soil, not any good soil you use in the garden.”

“Omg, why SO complicated.”

“It’s NOT. Just do what the instructions say. And only 4 hours of partial sun.”

“Do you mean I have to take care of this ‘Man-eating-plant’?”

“Geez mom. It’s NOT a man-eating-plant. It’s a carnivorous fly-trap!”

“Geez Monika, I’m only kidding. But it still looks like a man-eating-plant monster to me like in that old movie during my time. I think, the same time around when the movie Mothra vs Godzilla was in black and white.”

“Mom, you’re very old. Can you please look after it for me?”

“Fine. But I want to move that monster-plant in a big pot. Let’s buy some peat moss.”

So one day, we went to Home Depot to purchase peat moss. To our surprise, it was a heavy block of package and we can’t even lift it up and walk home with it. Days come and go and my feet and hands are really itching to move the plant to a more spacious home. “Why can’t peat moss come in small packages? We don’t need that much.”

Still we don’t have the peat moss. I feel awfully lazy to pick one up myself, going to the store alone.

“C’mon Monika, this is your plant. I’ll pay for the peat moss, just come with me.”

“Mom, it’s just across the street. Just bring our buggy.”

“I’ll lose my poise with it. It takes away beauty, hahaha.”

“Then, take a backpack with you.”

“Just come with me. I don’t want to drag it on the street alone.”

“Geez mom, just go buy it. I’m going out.”


My daughter named her Venus Fly Trap after the star Samuel L. Jackson.  Sorry SLJ, I have no idea why.
My daughter named her Venus Fly Trap after the star Samuel L. Jackson. Sorry SLJ, I have no idea why. | Source

Another day she came around and I overheard her saying…


“Hi, Samuel L. Jackson! How are you?”

“Who are you talking to?” I asked.

“Samuel L. Jackson,” she replied.

“WHAT?”

“I call my Venus Fly Trap- Samuel L. Jackson.”

“Why is that?”

“I just like calling it Samuel L. Jackson! He is an actor, mom.”

“I know who he is. The black actor and I like him. But what similarity does he have with the fly trap?”

“Nothin’. Like I said, I just like calling him Samuel L. Jackson.”

Samuel L. Jackson will not be too amused to be compared to a carnivore plant, I thought; except if he’s got a set of teeth just like it.


The Orchid Moss,  a sphagnum moss that I can use like peat moss when moving the plant into a 6 inch pot.
The Orchid Moss, a sphagnum moss that I can use like peat moss when moving the plant into a 6 inch pot. | Source
Venus Fly Trap looking like a hungry-alien plant.
Venus Fly Trap looking like a hungry-alien plant. | Source

Searching for the right peat moss.


Today, I had a drive to the Home Depot Nursery. They have the garden peat moss, totally not the one I am looking for. I’m just glad that the garden clerk was honest about it because it was humongous! He was very friendly to advise to check out the Sheridan Nursery and added that they for sure will know the type of peat moss I am looking for. I thanked her, and so we proceeded to Sheridan Nursery.

The Sheridan Nursery is a cool place. Lots of plant varieties (outdoor and indoor) but a little bit costly. I went around asking three accommodating staff and one led me to the Flower Shop lady. Use the Orchid Moss (sphagnum moss), she said. I’m but relieved it was the size of loaf bread and so light like rough saw dust inside the pack for $7.99. Cool, just a little expensive than the garden peat moss in Home Depot, but this is the real thing that’s right for the fly trap. (Oh, but I wasn’t really convinced that it was since it says ‘Orchid Moss’ on its packaging.) Nevertheless, after a few repeated rounds (desperate to find a package that reads “Fly Trap Peat Moss”, I went back to the flower lady and asked if it was the right thing. She said, “That will work.”

I walked away, tucking it underneath my armpit; it was so light that I wasn’t bothered how to carry it. I could have also balanced it on top of my head and not worrying about the bag bursting if it landed on the cemented floor. Not too far from my walk to the cashier located by the outdoor nursery, I went back in to bother the flower lady one more time that was very intimate with her flower arrangement.

I said, “So sorry to bug you, do you think that I would need 2 packages of this? I want to move it to a big pot at home. It’s still sitting in a teeny-weeny plastic red pot (demonstrating a small circle with my point fingers and thumbs) since the day it was bought and has babies now. Need to move the whole thing.”

“Oh no, glad you asked,” she exclaimed. Her eyes widened behind her thick eyeglasses.

“Don’t move it straight into a big pot. You’ll kill it. It will rot and will quickly die in it.”

“Do you mean to move it gradually to the next step?”

“That’s right. It’s just like being used to wearing such wide pants (spreading her arms side to side); you can’t just jump into the smallest size to fit. You will have to go through the next sizes down gradually.”

“Okay, I got the point (giving her my biggest smile with some chuckles). Thank you so much.”

She laughed and again she said waving her hand as I walked away, “I’m glad you asked!”


This housefly was devoured not too long.  Then, it escaped and got trapped again.
This housefly was devoured not too long. Then, it escaped and got trapped again. | Source
There he is falling in the trap.
There he is falling in the trap. | Source

Why can’t we just say ‘Samuel’. Shortcut?

I texted my daughter and told her about the moss purchase and she text messaged back- “Omg Samuel L. Jackson is so high maintenance!”

She continued texting:

“I’m going to give away Venus Fly Traps for my future wedding.”

“Waaaaaa, what does that mean? Giving away the likes of Samuel L. Jackson?”


(Why can’t we just say ‘Samuel’. Why does it have to be Samuel L. Jackson?)

I continued…


”Any meaning why for a wedding? It’s a nightmarish plant.”

“I don’t know, they’re cool give-aways or maybe centerpieces!”

“Hmmm, it’s going to nip someone’s nose,” I sent back my message.

And quickly I sent another one before she could reply…

“It stands for your snapping at Ken all the time, hehehe, but really, the Venus has lots of patience.”

“Who said it will be Ken?”

“Hahhhhha. The fly trap is you n’ways, hehehe.”


From there, the texting stopped.


Well, I thought the texting had stopped but my daughter sent me one more…

“I want more Venus fly trap. I’ll name my next one Angelina Jolie.”


I didn’t reply to that, but I thought of texting Angelina Jolie.

“Hey Angelina, what do you think?”


≈♥≈ ©coffeegginmyrice 22.08.2012


If you just enjoyed this hub, check out on how to care for a carnivore pet at http://coffeegginmyrice.hubpages.com/hub/Hungry-Venus-10-Things-On-How-to-Care-for-a-Venus-Fly-Trap


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    • coffeegginmyrice profile image
      Author

      Marites Mabugat-Simbajon 5 years ago from Toronto, Ontario

      Hi Missiswa! The poor fly is now all sucked up from its nutrients, poor thing and there is nothing to say more about the fly life, lol. One hot midday, I was out in the backyard on my knees trying to catch some potato bugs to feed Samuel L. Jackson! These critters escape too fast and destroyed my fingernail, so I came back with my puller, hehe. SJ accepts these potato bugs big and small, but these pb's seem to look tough. Oh never mind, the plant will figure it out. The rest of the potato bugs (which we call bola-bola if you remember) had died inside the jar. I should just have left them alive in the backyard. And definitely NO to breeding flies (I got the joke), hahaha! Thank you for your visit and introducing yourself to Samuel L. Jackson. Glad you both finally met.

    • coffeegginmyrice profile image
      Author

      Marites Mabugat-Simbajon 5 years ago from Toronto, Ontario

      Hahahaha, Cris! I almost choked laughing at your comment especially- Brad 'Peat' Moss. That's really smart! Never thought of that but that is your idea; so funny. Okay, I guess I never will be successful in receiving the "Hub of the Day" accolade for my topics are far from 'serious', lol. I have too much of the seriousness in my life already that I need laughter, lots of laughter! Thanks for your funny thoughts! Enjoy this lovely day!

    • CrisSp profile image

      CrisSp 5 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Poor Samuel Jackson and I mean the plant. Maybe, you should just leave him alone. Angelina Jolie won't text you back because Brad "Peat" Moss is missing. Okay, that's another cheesy joke. Kidding aside, you are full of humor coffeegginmyrice-all the time and I look forward to reading another enjoyable hub from you next.

      Voted up and funny!

    • Miswa profile image

      Miswa 5 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      i've been scrolling down hoping to find more about the poor fly...but it's been all about Samuel L. Jackson and the peat moss. LOL! Maybe you should start breeding flies so it can eat. LMAO. Nice hub though, sis!

    • coffeegginmyrice profile image
      Author

      Marites Mabugat-Simbajon 5 years ago from Toronto, Ontario

      Really teaches? A burger? Is it because of the juice from the burger? Thank you for your admiration on this hub, glad you enjoyed it. But I'm not sure if SLJackson will keep his wide grin forever, hahaha!

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      We had one of these plants when we were first married and my hubby fed it hamburger. It grew very well on this and flies. You had a good idea in using your conversations to make the hub topic interesting. I am sure Jackson would not mind the comparison.

    • coffeegginmyrice profile image
      Author

      Marites Mabugat-Simbajon 5 years ago from Toronto, Ontario

      Hahahaha, I'm laughing, really, laughing with your comment. Thanks aviannovice for sticking by. Have a happy day!

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 5 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Excellent! More sick humor...I can't wait to see what I find next...

    • coffeegginmyrice profile image
      Author

      Marites Mabugat-Simbajon 5 years ago from Toronto, Ontario

      I was actually laughing while writing this up, Faith Reaper. Also, I'm glad that I have not deleted my text messages yet. Thank you for finding it hilarious (I'm still giggling with amusement from your comment) and thanks so much for the votes!

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 5 years ago from southern USA

      I love this! The exchange between you and your daughter is precious and hilarious too. She is very clever just like her mother. Great hub. I did not know all that about the care of the plant, very interesting. In His Love, Faith Reaper