More Than Breathing
I was breathing but I wasn’t alive.
Thinking, tomorrow my life would arrive.
Tomorrow, not the day after this
But someday, when I meet my prince.
Once Upon a Time, I had dreams
Wishing on stars and winking at moonbeams.
I wish I may, I wish I might
Have the wish, I’d wish all nights
How would my fairy tale tell?
All the others, I knew so well.
Happily Ever After, is how they go
True love always prevails, this I know.
Where and how will this happen for me?
A land, far away, when least expect it to be.
My heart had been leant to a prince in disguise.
I was young and had untainted eyes.
I waited and waited for my fairy tale to write,
Daydreaming away, long sleepless nights.
No magic was making, but pages were turned
The heart that I leant was slowly being burned.
My fairy tale dreams were coming apart
I was foolishly eager to give over my heart.
By the window, I’d glue my face
What, would be after this place?
Is this my future, my fate, my destiny?
Will I be stuck here for eternity?
Do I get the chance to try it again.
If I'm to leave; where, how and when?
I’d ponder these things, the next several years.
Wanting to leave, but not facing my fears.
Finding a way to live without living.
How to be tired but still keep on giving.
Going through the motions, finding a way to smile.
Suffering in silence, crying only once in a while.
The tears I don’t share but rather, I hide
A wave of them crashing deep down inside.
It be not important this prince is a villain
It is me and my choices, my heart has been killing.
He might wear a crown upon his head
But I failed to listen to the words that he said.
I should’ve know to walk away
Before I gave up my heart that day.
How does a fairy tale come true
If not willing to let people through?
I will always struggle to fully understand
How to let in the good while keeping out the bad.
But why bother to keep my eyes open wide
When I have shattered pieces of a heart inside?
Who wants to fix a badly broken heart?
Why would I let it fall further apart?
Finally free but how do I heal
When I’ve learned how to live but nothing to feel?
How can I tell if it’s real or fake,
How do I not repeat my mistake?
Accepting, no fairy tale is written for me
That is the how I will live safely.
It might not be living, life how I should
It might not be great but I’ll settle for good.