ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Books, Literature, and Writing»
  • Commercial & Creative Writing»
  • Creative Writing

Murder on The Eiger Mountain

Updated on November 12, 2016
manatita44 profile image

Manatita is an esteemed author living in London, UK. He writes spiritual books, flash fiction and esoteric poetry, his favourite genre.

A Bill Holland's Challenge

William Dale Holland, A.K.A Billybuc, has issued a writing challenge, which can be found here: I have included some names and stories of other Hubbers who took the challenge, at the end of the Hub.

The Mountain

Challenge Picture 1
Challenge Picture 1 | Source

Finding The Victim

The grey mist of burning air felt stifling, as they struggled down the dangerous Eiger. Six men went on that climbing trek -- three climbers, two porters and a guide -- but now one man was dead, and Clint must use all his energy to find out how he died.

Pulling out his special phone from the grey backpack his porter carried, Clint dialled base control and asked for a helicopter to take the dead man down. Parker was a messy sight. His own knife caressed his heart some six inches to the hilt and he was still clutching the suicide note when they found him, two hours later; twenty paces from the ridge.

Moving on this mountain was no man’s cup of tea. It took thirty minutes to walk just twenty paces, and the cold, white and merciless silence of the treacherous ridges, made it rather difficult to locate him. Yet find him they did; still left to ponder the mystery of how he had managed to stab himself, write a suicide letter to Jill, his missus, the paper still clutched beneath the fingers of his right hand.

Mountainous Descent

Climbing down the mountain
Climbing down the mountain

Clint's turmoil

Climbing down the mountain was both arduous and meticulous. Not as slow as going up, but they were schooled by the porters in the art of Poleh, Poleh (slowly, slowly), and knew what they had to do to survive. Clint, a former policeman and expert in forensics, felt that something was amiss.

Why was Parker so far away from the group? Why was he lying face down and where did he get the paper to write that suicide note? After all, the guide was carrying Parker’s backpack! The thought that one of the climbing expedition could be the killer did cross Clint’s mind and his heart almost froze with trepidation.

Down at base camp was an old, dilapidated and derailed train, in which Clint and company had left some of their first aid, emergency and other equipment. They had come for a six week expedition, and the surrounding trees and foliage had made this train unobtrusive, and a great location to rest undisturbed. It was to this seemingly abandoned shelter, that Clint now put his mind and visualised the computer he’d need for some research work on the dead man.

Abandoned Freight Train

used for storing mountain supplies
used for storing mountain supplies | Source

Casey Disappears

After another six hours, Clint and company got to base and he headed to the old, disused, quaint-shaped coloured freight train, to collect his computer. Who was Peter Parker? Clint asked himself.

A quick search showed him that Parker was not only married, but also a woman’s man. He had a few girlfriends and one of them was definitely a beautiful blonde bombshell, who frequented the pages of his blog. There was another surprise! This blonde, Marie Casey, was married, and Peter Casey, the very man who was now a member of the mountain party, was her husband.

Clint jumped out of that freight compartment, looking around quickly to see if he could see the men who had descended the Eiger with him.

“Where is Casey?” he asked. The group looked around, no answer. Casey had slowly slipped away. Turned out that he was a licenced helicopter pilot, had planned the whole thing from scratch, had hidden a private helicopter in a disused barn some two miles away, and had now left the party of mountain climbers.

Disused Barn

Used for hiding the Helicopter
Used for hiding the Helicopter | Source

The Graveyard

Man and helicopter
Man and helicopter | Source
Caseys wife is buried here
Caseys wife is buried here | Source
Loo on a mountain
Loo on a mountain | Source

Giving Chase

He was fit, but Clint was fitter. Asking the porters and guide to fan out in one direction, he followed some footprints beneath the grassy fields where sure enough, some fifteen minutes later, he found Casey preparing to take off in his private helicopter.

“Why did you kill him, Casey? “ Clint asked.

“He took my wife and used her.” Casey said tearfully, as if suddenly getting a weight off his shoulder. “Then he dumped her.” He continued.

“What happened to her, Casey?” Clint asked.

“She’s dead!” Casey began to cry most uncontrollably. “She was a mountaineer when he seduced her, and when she committed suicide, I brought her here, and buried her in this graveyard (pointing). The first of the three stones that you see is hers.”

“I’m so, so sorry.” Clint said solemnly. “I will definitely speak of your good record and absence of previous crime, when we get back.” Casey nodded.


“How did you do it?”

“I followed him to the toilet.” Said Casey. I wore gloves and stabbed him with his own knife. The letter was pre-written by me on my computer, which I then placed in his hand after I dragged him away from the kill.”

“You do know that you will have to come back with us, said Flint.”

“Yes, I’m willing,” said Casey. With that Clint pulled out his whistle, and summoned the other members of the expedition, to take them home.

As he was leaving the graveyard, Casey turned once more to look at his wife’s stone. He could swear that he saw the smiling figure of her silhouette, giving a cold nod of approval, for her husband’s deed.

-Manatita 9th September, 2016.

Do not stand at my grave and weep

Bill's Challenge

Writing Challenges, what's their purpose?

See results


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 17 months ago from london

      Thanks Frank. Good yes, but I wrote in a rush. I may re-visit; create a love scene with a guide on the mountain; add some more forensic clues and have the assailant putting up a fight initially, then surrendering through guilt, perhaps.

      Many good and great ones here, but I have read three outstanding ones, and mine is not one of them. Thank you so much, my Friend.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 17 months ago from Shelton

      mantita, I took pause at the dramatics of this flash piece... Bill will be proud of this entry my friend :)

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 17 months ago from london

      Thanks Cam. I have about 10 or so Flash or stories here. This is a noble effort but perhaps my weakest of the lot. Nice ideas but I was perhaps in a hurry to finish. The plot is great but I need to add more. Yours is stronger, more solid, and so are the two girls that I may have mentioned. I wish you well in the challenge. Much Love.

    • cam8510 profile image

      Chris Mills 17 months ago from Missoula, Montana at least until March 2018

      manatita, I had to start over several times because I couldn't follow the meter or find the rhyming words........haha, how exciting to read a short fiction piece by you. And you cut right to the emotional heart of the story. Very well done. Thank you for taking part in Bill's challenge and sharing your story with us.

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 17 months ago from london

      Thank you, ChitrangadaSharan. So happy that you liked it. Loving thoughts.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image

      Chitrangada Sharan 17 months ago from New Delhi, India

      Excellent response to the challenge-What an engaging murder mystery!

      You have mastery in poetry as well as fiction. You combined all the pictures and some of your own into the story beautifully.

      Very well done my friend! Thank you!

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 17 months ago from london

      Yes, my Dear. The plot is great but for a longer story. Then I could add forensic details and have him putting up a fight. I could even make one of the guides a female and introduce love on the mountain. You'd like this no? ha ha.

      That was a quick one. I like it, and it is good, but not up to my other Flash here. Some here are super-excellent, especially two females and one guy. Guess? Love you, Shauna.

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 17 months ago from Central Florida

      Oh, the wicked webs we weave! Nice response to Bill's challenge, Manatita. I'm a little surprised that Casey gave in so willingly. But that's the beauty of fiction: it can take whatever direction the writer's muse sees fit.

      Good luck in the challenge!

    • Emese Fromm profile image

      EmeseRéka 17 months ago from The Desert

      I enjoyed reading your story, Manatita.

      A great murder mystery, which is very hard to pull off in such a short story. Engaging, good plot, I especially liked the ending. I see potential for this story to be developed into a longer piece, though it is enjoyable just as it is as well.

      Great job! Glad I had the opportunity to read it.

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 17 months ago from london

      Thank you, my Brother Venkatachari M.


    • Venkatachari M profile image

      Venkatachari M 17 months ago from Hyderabad, India

      Very thrilling story with a surprising twist at the end.

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 17 months ago from london

      John and company, welcome first of all, and thank you so much! So happy that you enjoyed this Hub. Much Love this weekend.

    • johnmariow profile image

      John Gentile 17 months ago from Connecticut

      Very engaging and intriguing. A well written, well constructed mystery. I enjoyed reading it. The ending is terrific.

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 17 months ago from london

      Thank you, Suzette. Much Appreciated.

    • suzettenaples profile image

      Suzette Walker 17 months ago from Taos, NM

      Nice twist on this challenge. I enjoyed your story and was totally engaged in it.

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 17 months ago from london

      Thank you, thank you. Interestingly, I have a background in both. I'm a creative writer, no schooling. Just lots of reading and practice from the age of 4.

      I also give all credit to God, My Master and meditation for the intuitive side. Much Love, my Sweet.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 17 months ago from The Caribbean

      Another good story in response to the challenge. I admire you for your ability to handle both prose and poetry so well!

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 17 months ago from london

      Thanks Jodah.


    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 17 months ago from london

      Thanks Bro. Peace...

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 17 months ago from Olympia, WA

      You made the deadline and all is cool in the world. Thanks my friend, for taking part. I look forward to reading this tomorrow when I go through all of the entrees.

      blessings and peace, always

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 17 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Lots of intrigue in this one, Manatita. Though a little hard to pull off successfully in such a short story. Glad you entered the challenge. Good job.

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 17 months ago from london

      Thank you. It's great, but I did not feel that I was running with this one like say The Tragedy of The Telephone Call.

      A theme or line I can run with but I opted to start on the mountain with this one. Not my best. Glad you approve. Much love.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 17 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      This is very cool. I am glad you entered the challenge.