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"My Aim" - A Pantoum Poem of Hope

Updated on November 29, 2016
Hopeful Road
Hopeful Road | Source

"My Aim"

My bed hummed my name;

I passed up quality rest.

My eye is on my aim.

My mind is on my quest.

I passed up quality rest,

To dance around town all day.

My mind is on my quest,

As I pushed slumber away.

To dance around town all day,

I'm dedicated to my to-do list of needs.

As I pushed slumber away,

I pulled out life's weeds.

I'm dedicated to my to-do list of needs,

As I lined up my goals.

I pulled out life's weeds,

And placed tree seeds in the holes.

I will watch my trees grow;

My eye is on my aim.

In steps, conquer a sleepless show;

My bed hummed my name.

[2012]

© 2012 Alyssa Scheidemann

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    • profile image

      shoaib malik 2 years ago

      very good

    • AlyssaScheidemann profile image
      Author

      Alyssa Scheidemann 4 years ago from Southwest Florida

      Thanks! :)

    • ocfireflies profile image

      ocfireflies 4 years ago from North Carolina

      What a cool take on the pantoum form. Very much enjoyed.

    • gmaoli profile image

      Gianandrea Maoli 5 years ago from South Carolina

      Really good! "My mind is on my quest." That line is going to stick with me for awhile. We often ask for rest from our daily demands, but deep down there's always something going on out there that we need or really want to do.

    • profile image

      Gelbee 5 years ago

      Nice write...I really liked the image of "life's weed's"

    • Jaggedfrost profile image

      Jaggedfrost 5 years ago

      This looks like a modern take on ancient poetry forms that call for both the repeated refrains and the beginning and end drawing to the center. The form I am thinking of escapes me but it is biblical in nature. I feel something sexual and a few things that feel drug related but it is encoded well such that it could be just a worship of the season. It is interesting at any rate. Cheers.

    • AlyssaScheidemann profile image
      Author

      Alyssa Scheidemann 5 years ago from Southwest Florida

      Thank you :)

    • RTalloni profile image

      RTalloni 5 years ago from the short journey

      Thought provoking…poignant.