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My Diet Killed My Camera
Trying to be CreativeClick thumbnail to view full-size
It Looks Innocent Enough, But...
How patient is your spouse?
How would your spouse react if you destroyed/lost something expensive?
"NO!" I shouted as I looked down at my suddenly submerged camera. Shock quickly slipped away and I reached into the large container to grab my camera out of the goopy substance that was to be my breakfast diet shake. "No!"
What do I do? What do I do? I turned on the water, quickly rinsed off the sticky liquid, trying to remember if my camera was like those semi-waterproof watches that can get a little wet and not crash outright. It wasn't waterproof.
I tried turning my camera off, then on again to make sure I wiped away any remaining shake from the retractable lens. I dried off the lump of metal as best I could and ran upstairs to ask my television news hubby his advice.
"Honey, look at this." He was just getting out of the shower and drying off. I showed him the image display on the camera. "This is bad, isn't it?" There were these strange lines stretching across the screen and disrupting the foggy image.
"Turn it off. You need to turn it off," he told me. "How did this happen? What'd you do, Joey?"
I cringed as I told him the story, prefacing my tale by saying it was a friend's fault this happened.
"How could it be her fault?"
"I got this email from" no, I'm not going to name my friend. She's one of the most caring people I've ever known. "She's been reading my blog and she wanted me to change my photo from Jesse's rat to a photo of me. I was standing at the counter making one of my morning Isagenix shakes..." I'm glad to say I'm two shakes and one workout away from having lost 20 pounds, thank you very much. "And I saw my reflection in the brass knob on the kitchen cabinet and..."
"You were attracted by another shiny object?" My husband regularly describes me as someone who gets sidetracked easily when a bass lure happens by. He grinned, huffed and shook his head.
"So, I thought I would do something creative and artistic and something that hides how lousy I look this morning. I was taking some photos and then suddenly, "Kirplunk!" My camera fell into my shake. It was the only damn thing on the counter and that's where it fell!" As I spoke, my husband looked at me with amazement and frustration because he knew he'd be buying me a new camera by the end of day. And no, this really wasn't a ploy for a top shelf Mother's Day Gift... although, it may work for some of you out there (shhh!).
"I just put all the dishes away," he said. Yes, he did the dishes. I have such a good husband. "There wasn't a drink anywhere else in sight and you managed to drop it into the only drink in the kitchen." Mark looked at me as though he expects things like this from his wife.
"Okay, so I'm a klutz. That's why you love me, right?" Over the years, I've asked him that too many times. And lucky me, he always finds a way to laugh at my shenanigans, or more importantly, make me laugh. "I know this is a horrible time to have this happen, but are you mad?" Amazingly enough, he's not. He wasn't even mad the time I lost my prescription sunglasses in Mexico.
Before I got on that banana blowup boat with a bunch of other tourists, I handed my hat to my husband, but didn't think to take off my sunglasses. I'd never tried out one of those banana boats and it looked like the people out on the water were having fun. Little did I know this crazy Mexican boat driver and his buddy were going to give the American touristas a real ride, all the while laughing at us. My sister had been sort of bitchy to the boat driver earlier and I have a feeling he got the better of her abrasive personality.
They dragged the banana boat out onto the ocean going faster and faster until we all began losing our grip as we straddled the craft. One more fast turn, a bump in the waves and we all went flying down into the water. So did my $300 glasses! After slamming into the salt water then regaining my composure, I noticed my sinuses have never felt so clear. Of course, watching these snake animals and other things swimming around in the water made me wonder, what swam up my nose?
Mark is used to things like this happening to me. Crazy thing is, in both cases, had I only been wearing my usual strappy things, I wouldn't have lost either item.
Anyway, several hours later, my husband and children returned from Best Buy with a bag of goodies; a new Wii game for me to play while recovering from my surgery and a new Cannon PowerShot. As Mark handed me the bag, he explained, "I bought the extended warranty program because the sales guy assured me it will cover the camera if you drop it into another shake."
Oy, such a mentsh!