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My First Poem, 4 Years Ago

Updated on June 7, 2013

I don't plan to sit here and rhyme, relive, and tell you how I lived
My life.
Believe me I'm trying to change
To grow, to be nice.
But besides the fact you know all that I just wanted to tell you
What's on my mind, nothing mythodical, physilogical, or psychological
Just words from the kind.

I miss seeing you around town, I mean I've looked all around.
How are you? Are you ok? What else can I say?..
Seeing you kills me, knowing earlyer in life it was another way
Hey wait dear
-Do you have a moment to stay?

I saw that guy you were with the other day
The one with the slicked back hair
Shiny car
Glasses? Yeah I know you know his ways.
I don't mean to get inbetween but.. is he good to you? Does he make
You laugh, smile and help you through
Your painful life?
I hope he does babe, I mean I just hate to see you cry, and that
Onetime with the knife?
- It still haunts me, and will for life.

I know we ended badly, I live with it everyday..
But I know why you left
Even I wouldn't of stayed.
Now don't give me that word... I know what your thinking, but it's
Time for my say
I know you don't care! But darling I'm sinking.

I loved you babe
But now it's not the same.
I've been bottleing this inside, taking it in stride
-But it's been taking me for a ride.

I'm sorry for what I did
I don't even know what that was
But I don't dare to think about it because..
Now I know what I lost.

I lost you
You're gone
Like a whisper in the wind.
...But I'll be there till the end...?

Ok ok I know, you have to go
-maybe I'll catch you around?..
I understand.
Good bye.

Even after all you put me through..

Good bye.

-I love you


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    • Danieltastic profile imageAUTHOR

      Daniel James Hinton 

      5 years ago from Orlando, Florida

      I'm well thank you :) definitely welcomed on my hub Karn!

    • ImKarn23 profile image

      Karen Silverman 

      5 years ago

      This was an awesome poem! Definitely sad, but full of life and living!

      I also enjoyed the unique style. I trust you're doing well after 4 years?

      Thank Philly for getting me here, and look forward to getting to know more about each other!

    • Danieltastic profile imageAUTHOR

      Daniel James Hinton 

      5 years ago from Orlando, Florida

      Thanks Wayne, always appreciate the comments. Definitely a goal to work that sense in there. It adds a first person situation aspect to this, almost like this poem is in his head while they are talking about nothing.

    • wayne barrett profile image

      Wayne Barrett 

      5 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Very good work Daniel. I like the way you wove dialogue into the rhythm of the piece.

    • Danieltastic profile imageAUTHOR

      Daniel James Hinton 

      5 years ago from Orlando, Florida

      This wasn't our story - but a story formulated about if we were to give us a chance. It's true. These all help us move through the water. We all just get a little better at swimming. Thank you, and thanks for commenting :)

    • Sunny River profile image

      Sunny River 

      5 years ago from A Place Without A Name which resides somewhere between Fantasy and Belief, just north of Reality

      Powerful words, Daniel. I've seen plenty of friends go through relationships that ended with scenes like this. It's tough, but sometimes it's what you need to heal and move on. A very moving piece. Thanks for sharing.

    • Danieltastic profile imageAUTHOR

      Daniel James Hinton 

      5 years ago from Orlando, Florida

      The person who brought this into existence hadn't been in my life for a long time till very recently. Even then, what is Facebook if not a collection of Faces? She's engaged. I find a lot of peace in that.

    • PHILLYDREAMER profile image

      Jose Velasquez 

      5 years ago from Lodi, New Jersey

      It's weird, because my first love is also the mother of my first son. Having a child with someone, ties you to that person for life. I was the one who ended the relationship, but it wasn't because I stopped loving her, it was because she kept pushing me away. When I finally found someone else, she tried to win me back, but I shut her down. I wonder now if she felt this way.


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