My Kitten Is Neurotic

I might have told you the story but I have to repeat it for those who haven't heard

Almost a year ago I got a kitten

So cute and cuddly and fun

We named her Charlette because she was the littlest of the bunch

Are Goddaughter's cat had kittens and my wife thought we would take one

We had two cats and unfortunately one of our cats got hit by a car

Because our cat Baby wouldn't stay home and had to go play across the street

He had plenty of room in the back yard and front yard to roam

But being a cat and a cat must do what its insticts tell them

Not a good choice when we live near a road that has cars

So after missing him so much and feeling our other older cat would be lonely

This is the best thing to do

What we didn't expect is what we got

A kitten who is bent on destruction and disaster

She is young and playful and I get that

So we bought her some toys she loves so well

They pile up on the floor like her own private mountain

When she isn't playing tag in the middle of the night

With our older cat Daryl who is pushing 16 years old !

She is climbing on our bureau and turning picture frames over

Scratching at the mirror and pulling on pictures tucked in the mirror frame

She climbs behind our queen bed and starts to scratch like it is her own giant size sratching post

We constantly take her out of the flowering plant in the kitchen

She digs at the dirt like she is digging for a lost bone

She climbs on the counter and we tell her get down

She walks on our table then when we go to get her she jumps down

She has a couch to lay on and a chair to sleep on

That's not good enough for her she has to leap

She walks behind the t.v. set and we are afraid she is going to knock it over

So we call her by name and she never comes

We trick her by playing with string

She comes running until she finds something else that catches her desires

When I type on the laptop she has to come up

I pat her and give her all the attention she needs

She climbs on my arm like it is the monkey bars in gym class

Once I stop patting her she nips at me like you forgot me

She jumps down when she gets board

Only to go over to the cat box to do her business

She had to go we all know

But then she gets out and goes back in clawing the sides of the cat box up in the air

She does this 3 or 4 times

She comes out and can't wait to knock her water dish over

We were told when she does something wrong spray her with water

She won't like it and it will do her no harm

She will stop and run

Then she will jump on to the kitchen counter then off the microwave and up to the cabnets up above

There she will rest and watch us

O.k. we let her stay since she can't do much harm

We were wrong again

She walks across the cabnets knocking over vases and ornaments we have up there that are in her way

She climbs on to the kitchen  curtain rod where she will hang until she falls

I come running to pull her down

She thinks shes in a circus and she is a clown

Later she runs to the living room and goes behind the lamp

Not to walk behind and sleep but to knock it over and see it fall

We come running in when we hear the crash

She rubs against our legs while we are picking up the pieces

She swears it just fell and she could do nothing to stop it

We put her in the bathroom and shut the door

She jumps into that flower pot and makes a mess

We let her out when the first mess is all cleared

So now she won't get hurt and she is safe

We cut her claws so they won't be sharp

We got her a scratching pad with catnip to make her happy

She climbs under it and walks with it on her head

We feed her thinking she is hungry

She eats wet food with our older cat

Then she eats her kitten food that she has plenty

She has gained some weight but I am hoping she will work off her baby fat

She jumps on the printer and waits

She scratches at newspaper and magazines

When we go in to watch t.v. I lay on the couch

She comes right up on me and lays under my chin

I pat her and she seems to fall asleep

Then she gets up and moves closer to my face

She wants to lie on top of my face

I gently move her down

She does the same thing again and again

Until I put her down

Later we go in our bedroom and shut the door

She claws at it until we let her in

When the door is left open she walks away

She goes in the other room and claws at the closet door until it opens

She is crazy I tell you

She  needs a cat sedative to calm her down

I use to think she was just playful and full of mischief

Until she nocked over a vase filled with flowers more than once

The water came spilling out like a damn had broke

She didn't run off to hide she came closer to the water and put her paws in it

When we come home she runs to the door

She tries to find a way to make her get away

So we open the door slow and shoo her in

She hops up on a stool and pushes her head up to greet us

She is lovable and when we go to pick her up she wants to be put down

She has knocked over a small c.d. player/radio on the floor

She loves to walk on the edge of the tub when we are in the shower until she falls in

Then she scampers quite fast

She will claw at the toilet roll until it is empty

We have to put the toilet seat down afraid she might jump in

When you sit down to use the toilet she thinks it is her cue

To jump into your pants that are down by your knees

She gives you that look like please please let me stay here

We shake the cat food and she leaves us like a hot potato

What she does next I can only guess

You be the detective

I think she is bonkers and has rocks in her head

If you open a closet she thinks it is her own private lodge

So she runs in the back of the closet where she can't be found

When she get tired she lays down beside Daryl like a normal cat would do

But she is far from normal I can argue the facts

She will insist on looking pretty and wiggles when she walks

She is only a kitten but she has used up her 9 lives already

Looking for excitement and she is like an outlaw who is running from the posse

She will keep it up until we lock her up

That will have to be some other day

Since she has gone again into another room

To cause more havoc than a race car with no driver

I will be back to tell you more adventures of Miss Charlette soon

For now I have to stop her or our house will be in ruins