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A cool breeze kissed my forearms as i continued my journey to the Railway Station. its Sunday evening and the city is in a hurry winding up the day's busyness. The face of the guy walking through the footpath looked gloomy like the setting sun just between the trees. The entire noise of the city sounds like a muted television as i continue my journey in the autorikshaw.
The smiling face of my mom and my little sister is stuck in my mind and i wish i could freeze those images in my mind forever. This is not the first time I'm leaving my dear ones, but this time it is different, its my last vacation. I won't be back again. The feeling of not seeing them again muted my mind and everything around seems irrelevant.
A smal was holding her mothers hand and walking through the roadside. But he didn't smile back. It seemed like the innocence in his heart is already covered by the busyness outside. I gazed around like a small kid. Not because i was anxious but because i wont be seeing these again. Small things started to mean more important. A kids smile, a birds flight, an old couples walking holding their hands, a temple bell, a radio song.
The pain is not over yet. She must be waiting for me at the railway station. I felt as if the vehicle is pulling me away from myself. My heart started to feel heavy. My mind wanted to cry like a kid who is forced to go to school. But i cant cry, certainly not now. She will be there and i can't cry. I should be smiling.
She is so sweet. This vacation i spend more time with her than usual. Every time is look at her eyes i felt like that small kid who used to play with her in my backyard. For me she is like a book in which every page has a story about me. As story has no existence without the book, i don't have any meaning without her. We had good time yesterday together. I kissed her as i dropped her at her home and i knew from her looks that she knew that its our last kiss. I had tears in my eyes as i disappeared into the dark and i wept like a kid.
I reached the railway station. Auto driver smiled at me as i gave him Rs. 200 for his Rs.150 journey. I patted his back and walked into the railway station. My eyes and my mind started searching for her among the crowd. I saw her sitting anxiously near the tea stall. She looked at me as I walked towards her. My heart felt so heavy that i couldn't speak. I held her hands and held them tight. I wish i had a time machine so that i could go back again into my life and live again.
We heard the railway announcement and my train will reach in 5 mins. I have only 5 mins with her now. I never thought that 5 mins will have so much importance in my life. We didn't speak. I just held her hands and sat next to her. We were so close to each other that we no longer needed words to convey. I never told her that this is my last visit, but i am sure that she can feel that.
She held my hands tight as the train started to approach the station. She wanted me to stay back, but i had to go. I held her hands and i started to walk with her towards my compartment. I reached the entrance of my compartment. Its time. I looked at her and i let my hands off her hands. I could feel the last sense of her touch in my hands. I boarded the train and i looked at her as the signals changed from red to green. My hearts signal changed from green to red.
The train started to move slowly. I went inside and sat in my seat. I looked outside and i could see her looking at me. I wanted to cry out loud, i wanted to jump outside, but my body didn't move. Her face started to fade as we continued to look at each other. I looked at her and smiled. She smiled back. I wanted her to have a smiling face of mine inside her heart. Her face diluted into the crowd. A small hand pulled my hands from my left. I turned around. A small girl looked at me and smiled. I looked at her eyes and i smiled....