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My Phobia

Updated on March 20, 2011
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My Phobia

There is nothing I dread more
than darkening the dentist's door....
I would rather feast on frogs,
green and slimy, fresh from bogs!


Just the thought will make me sweat...
for I am but a wimpy fret!
It is a full-blown phobia...
this dental xenophobia!


I rock and roll in trembling fear
when to the dental chair, I near.
I twist and gag in bound reflex
and offer up such sound effects...


all beyond my self control,
for in his chair, I won't console!
It is with great embarrassment
that this is my impediment...


'Tis today these thoughts arrive,
as I sit and type to toothache's thrive...
and shudder as I spill my fear...
my day of reckoning is near...

There is nothing I dread more
than darkening the dentist's door....
For I would rather feast from bogs,
on green and slimy, kicking frogs!


"Copyright 2011, All Rights Reserved."

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    • tnderhrt23 profile image
      Author

      tnderhrt23 6 years ago

      Should there be any doubt...just ask my oldest son...who has held my hand in the dental office!

    • tumblintumblweed profile image

      tumblintumblweed 6 years ago

      Very cute and funny read! I certainly can relate to the way you feel.Got any frogs? Voted up and awesome !

    • bellawritter23 profile image

      Erica Sanchez 6 years ago from California

      This was fabulously silly tnder! I hate the doc that drills into thy gums eeeekkkkkk!

      smiles :)

      bella

    • tnderhrt23 profile image
      Author

      tnderhrt23 6 years ago

      Thanks tumblin, Not fond of frogs either!!!

    • tnderhrt23 profile image
      Author

      tnderhrt23 6 years ago

      bella, I've got to be the biggest baby going, when it comes to the dentist...and I am gonna have to bite the bullet and go there one of these days...in the mean time, might as well share a little entertainment...thanks, Girl!

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean

      I like frogs! Yum. Dentist? not as much. Cute.

    • tnderhrt23 profile image
      Author

      tnderhrt23 6 years ago

      Well, Randy, I like frogs more than dentists...don't like either in my mouth! BLAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Thanks!

    • Lady Wordsmith profile image

      Linda Rawlinson 6 years ago from Lancaster, UK

      Hypnotherapy? You poor thing :(

      Dentists are just nice people, who want to help you have lovely teeth :D (as well as take lots of cash from you, so not Totally nice). Maybe you should find one to befriend - that might make them less scary.

    • profile image

      Denizee 6 years ago

      Ok, I confess as well dentists are not my fav of the medical profession - and please keep me awake while they are in my mouth telling me everything is just fine.

      I also fear podiatrists as well after working for some.

      Bless your son for holding your hand - You made me smile for the humor in this poem.

    • flying_fish profile image

      flying_fish 6 years ago from GTA

      I LOVE my dentist, (his receptionist and dental-assistant a little more... ;) - but maybe for the same reasons you don't. This was a wonderfully giddy read!

    • tnderhrt23 profile image
      Author

      tnderhrt23 6 years ago

      Lady Wordsworth, I must confess...I think, given the level of fear in me of the dental office, they need to administer some heavy duty sedatives and knock me slap out! Then I don't make a fool of myself and they can take care of business!!! I wrote about it to bring a little humor to a huge fear that I am trying to sidestep! And most dentists that I have encounter dont take too kindly to whimpettes like me...lol...

    • tnderhrt23 profile image
      Author

      tnderhrt23 6 years ago

      Denizee, My dear sweet son came home after holding my hand and roasted me...he impersonated me, ok??? and all I could do was hide my face, laugh and cry at the same time...I had a premolar pulled and it was horrible! my blood pressure skyrocketed to something like 248/120, and the dentist didn't even say good bye after torturing me! yup, knock me OUT! Pleassssse! tnderhrt is somewhat of an understatement in some areas and dentistry is one! Thanks for your visit and great comment...! Hugs!

    • tnderhrt23 profile image
      Author

      tnderhrt23 6 years ago

      flying_fish, lol...I am happy for you! lol I am happy too that you enjoyed this little confession...a true one. Take care!

    • CMCastro profile image

      Christina M. Castro 6 years ago from Baltimore,MD USA

      I had a history of dental work and you just triggered some memories. Instead of writing them out here, I think I will write a hub about it. Thanks for a poetic look at the nerve wracking experience. Hope you got over the dental pain quick!

    • tnderhrt23 profile image
      Author

      tnderhrt23 6 years ago

      Thanks Christina...sorry to trigger unpleasant memories...and I hope I get over it soon too! Hope you are feeling better!

    • To Start Again profile image

      Selina Kyle 6 years ago

      sorry you have to be scared :( but this was a great poem!

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 6 years ago from Wales

      I'm sure that will relate to you on this one, I know that I can. I am quite fond of frogs so i agree there also. ha ha! Thanks for sharing this one with us and Take care

      Eiddwen.

    • tnderhrt23 profile image
      Author

      tnderhrt23 6 years ago

      Thanks, To Start Again! It was a fun write inspite of the willies it gave me!

      Eiddwen, thanks! My sister, when she was a crawling toddler managed to find a little green tree frog in a basket of clothes just off the line, capture it, and shove it in her mouth...No one would have known except I saw this little green wiggling thing sticking out of the corner of her mouth...a hind leg...that is where I got that concept...we did manage to rescue the frog...lol

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 6 years ago from Wales

      Ha ha!! That really made me laugh , this is what I love about writing we can always make use of little snippets in our memories.

      Have a nice weekend and take care.

      Eiddwen.

    • tnderhrt23 profile image
      Author

      tnderhrt23 6 years ago

      Eiddwen, you have a great weekend too! Thanks!

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 6 years ago

      ....my phobia is not being able to ever read you again - so I went back to sleep and dreamt the dream of dreams - you were writing once again - and I was happy - and content!

    • tnderhrt23 profile image
      Author

      tnderhrt23 6 years ago

      Not to worry, epi...as long as these fingers can tap away and this little brain can fire...I will share the wanderins with you! and mind you, the same applies here!

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 6 years ago from Southern Illinois

      HAHAHAHAHAH I can relate, but a green slimy kicking frog, i could never eat. FUNNY

    • tnderhrt23 profile image
      Author

      tnderhrt23 6 years ago

      If truth be known, neither could I but tis surely my preference over a visit to the dentist!!! lol...thanks Ruby~

    • bbnix profile image

      bbnix 6 years ago from Southern California

      Here's to the best tapping fingers I know and the most wonderful brain to fire ;)...

    • saddlerider1 profile image

      saddlerider1 6 years ago

      Give me a dentist anytime over a slimy frog. I actually love to have my teeth cleaned, buzzed, drilled and filled and a shiny new toothbrush gift on the way out the door. he he.

    • vietnamvet68 profile image

      vietnamvet68 6 years ago from New York State

      everyone hates the dentist, but I would rather go to the dentist than eat those slimy frogs. :)

      God Bless

    • tnderhrt23 profile image
      Author

      tnderhrt23 6 years ago

      saddlerider, I am a bit envious...I never get a shiney new toothbrush gift...because I am not a good girl in the dental chair!!!

      vet, I don't cherish the thought of eating slimey frogs either but ....that is what I would choose over the dentist every time! I don't much like making a total fool of myself anywhere! LOL Thanks!

    • tnderhrt23 profile image
      Author

      tnderhrt23 6 years ago

      bbnix, thank you, kind Sir...I almost missed you there! sorry! It would seem I have a case of "verbal runs"....lololol

    • Bumpsysmum profile image

      Bumpsysmum 6 years ago from Cambridgeshire

      Oh tnderhrt23, you are so not alone in this!

      I usually end up with finger nail marks in the chair arms, despite the vast improvements in technology, there is still something quite alarming about a visit to the man with the road drill and cement mixer, his nurse is the navvy with the shovel and pickaxe :-)

    • tnderhrt23 profile image
      Author

      tnderhrt23 6 years ago

      Bumpsysmum...thanks for that! I so wish I could bite the bullet and be a big girl in the chair!!! But, alas, it is not to be, I fear! They gonna have to knock me out!!! lol...Peace, mum!

    • Bumpsysmum profile image

      Bumpsysmum 6 years ago from Cambridgeshire

      I'm with you on that tnderhrt23 and long may your teeth be healthy enough not to need the tools of that esteemed tradesman!! :-)

    • tnderhrt23 profile image
      Author

      tnderhrt23 6 years ago

      And you, as well, my friend, and you as well!

    • Vickie Bovender profile image

      Vickie Bovender 6 years ago from Southeastern US

      Smart is the dentist who does anything he/she can to make the patient calllllllllm. Mine will do that, but if only he'd do something about his BILL! Great Hub. :)

    • tnderhrt23 profile image
      Author

      tnderhrt23 6 years ago

      I so agree! Thanks, Vickie!

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean

      I thought of you today Tenderhrt. I went to the dentist. He hurt me repeatedly for 45 minutes. Then I paid him. Its kinda a sick relationship. I see him again next week.

    • tnderhrt23 profile image
      Author

      tnderhrt23 6 years ago

      Awwww, Randy Behavior, I am so sorry!My heart goes out to you!

    • Fluffy77 profile image

      Fluffy77 6 years ago from Enterprise, OR

      You know we all do have at least one, mine I am currently and very slowly working out. Writing does help allot though, and from what I see with all of your writing it is healing for you as well. Wonderful work here.

    • tnderhrt23 profile image
      Author

      tnderhrt23 6 years ago

      Fluffy, yes, writing is most cathartic and healing for me, too. A wonderful tool and gift. I shall hop on over to your hub and check out your work, and I appreciate your visit!

    • Plarson profile image

      Plarson 6 years ago from Alabama

      Tndr - Too funny, my dad is a periodontist..lol Poor frogy's. I have missed you,bella,epi and the gang. Sigh. -Paul

    • tnderhrt23 profile image
      Author

      tnderhrt23 6 years ago

      And PLarson, you have been missed, too! This was a blatently honest write, my friend! My dental experience has not been good and my fear factor is great!!! I am not, may I repeat, NOT fond of frogs...so that should give you an idea...lol...what a whimpy fret I truly am!

    • BeyondMax profile image

      BeyondMax 4 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      LOL Marsha, how sweet and expressive! Vivid dental horror =) Truly brilliant, my friend!

    • tnderhrt23 profile image
      Author

      tnderhrt23 4 years ago

      Max, thank you...but there is nothing sweet about me in the dental chair...I am an embarrassment to my very self!

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