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My Suicide/a poem

Updated on June 11, 2013

My Suicide

My Suicide

The bullets are laid out, and the gun is by my side. The letters have all been written, the tears have been cried.

I have gone through the funeral, and what I will wear, who will be grieving, and who won’t be there.

I have heard the questions how could she do this, and I don’t know why, ALL I know in my heart is that I’m ready to die.

The pain of living is too much to bear; this life of torment isn’t going anywhere.

I have tried to be happy but sadness always follows. And how much hurt do I have to swallow.

So please forgive me, I know it’s not right, but with this gun I’ll find peace tonight.

By Theresa Bauserman

I do not in any way condon suicide, or promote it, this is just a piece that I felt compelled to write.
I do not in any way condon suicide, or promote it, this is just a piece that I felt compelled to write.

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    • jdw7979 profile image

      John David 3 years ago from Middle America

      Strong words and well done.. I pray you are in a good place and did see the disclaimer. Again, thank you for sharing and stay strong, as well as focused. Life is truly grand, even with all its misadventures and such.

      You only get one chance at the skin you are in, so make the most. Happiness can be considered work at times, yet work with great results and purity. Whatever it takes to stay on this earth for a longer period is worth it, I promise, no matter what it takes..

    • To Start Again profile image

      Selina Kyle 3 years ago

      I found this raw and telling and it takes courage to say what will, no doubt, be taken with mixed feelings and critique. So often, we don't hear the voice of the one thinking of doing something like this until it is too late and we are reading a note. This has brought to light some of those thoughts and feelings before the fact. So many of us have these thoughts swirl through our minds at one point or another and I think you were compelled, as you said, to write this because someone else needed to read it. There have been some great comments already here and I am sure there will be more to come. I only suggest that you add a few links at the end for anyone who stumbles across this that may be thinking of taking their own life. An outreach of sorts. Beautifully tragic poem, you have here ;)

    • tbauserman profile image
      Author

      Theresa Bauserman 3 years ago from Somewhere in Georgia

      I did not mean to offend anyone with this poem, and yes I have thought of suicide in the past, but I would never take my own life, or encourage another to do so. I suffer from bipolar disorder and poetry is my gift, but sometimes unpleasant poems creep in and this was one of them, I assure you a poem is all this is. sincerely T bauserman

    • Danieltastic profile image

      Daniel James Hinton 3 years ago from Orlando, Florida

      The cuts on my forearm have healed. Yours will too. Reach out for a friend, I'll be there.

    • janshares profile image

      Janis Leslie Evans 3 years ago from Washington, DC

      You've captured the inner world of the suicidal person very well, tbauserman, powerfully expressed, well-written. In fact, so well, you've got us fellow poets worried, despite your disclaimer. To be honest with you, I missed the disclaimer until I saw reference made to it in the first comment, just an fyi. I won't put on my mental health hat, but I speak as a fellow poet: we have to be very careful about how we approach certain topics. This came up in a forum a few months back. The poster had no idea what a ruckus his post would create as he meant no harm to himself or anyone else. I just wanted to offer this critique with good intention, hubber to hubber.

    • MrsBrownsParlour profile image

      Lurana Brown 3 years ago from Chicagoland, Illinois

      I see the disclaimer under the photo and also hope that this is a work of pure fiction. I share the concern that this poem might be a cry for help OR that it might reach the eyes of someone who is suicidal and connect in empathy but not pull them back up into living.

      Your writing is gifted and speaks too well of the pain of suicidal depression...I know because I have felt that kind of deep darkness myself. We must always find the seed of hope in hopelessness---the memory of hope and light---because it exists. There is always, always hope....just like at the bottom of Pandora's box when all the evils were let out, hope was left. Not joy, not happiness, not all the good things we don't have, but hope.

      If you or anyone reading this is considering suicide, please call a trusted friend or a suicide hotline:

      1-800-SUICIDE 1-800-273-TALK

      1-800-784-2433 1-800-273-8255

      1-800-799-4TTY (4889)

      Deaf Hotline

      Suicide is not peace. Ask for help. It will get better.

    • cynthtggt profile image

      cynthtggt 3 years ago from New York, NY

      I hope you do not do this. I take this kind of post seriously and I am very concerned. Let me tell you something: I felt the same way once in my life and I am here today with a totally different perspective. You are young and you think things can't change, but they can. I want to help if I can, so please reply. Don't end your life because you might just find that you will remain the same if there is an eternity - and NO one has been able to prove there is not one for sure. Incidentally, you say underneath the photo in this piece that you don't condone suicide; however, writing this kind of thing might give an impressionable mind that you are serious if they miss that statement under the picture. I like your poem, but this is not a joke.

    • PHILLYDREAMER profile image

      Jose Velasquez 3 years ago from Lodi, New Jersey

      I hope this is just fiction but just in case it's not. Don't do it. There can't be happiness without sadness, and no matter how sad you are there will be a happy moment on its way.

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