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My Take on The Game of Desire by Shan Boodram

Updated on January 17, 2020

The Game of Desire by Shan Boodram

Book review written by: Ashley A.


Starting the book, my excitement was high. I had been following Shan Boodram on different social media platforms and have been loving the way she presents her work and how she conducts herself. Shan Boodram is a certified sexologist and an intimacy expert who has made a name for herself through her publications and her online persona. The bulk of her work discusses relationships, intimacy, and open discussions about love and sex. In the book The Game of Desire, Ms. Boodram combined all of knowledge of relationships to create a piece of work that every women could use to improve their dating lives. The book starts off with Shan and Courtney, one of the six girls, preparing for Courtney’s date. It is a great start to the book because it showcases the out of the box methods Shan uses to guide the women in the book. The book follows 6 women, with different dating desires, participating in a set activities to learn more about themselves and to push them out of their own comfort zones. These activities were designed and lead by Shan Boodram in the hopes of giving these women the greatest chance of their success. Overall, the book is a great read that provides the reader with tons of information and worksheets that can be used along with the women in the book. This is a unique feature which I believes add great value to the book. These resources and worksheets help the reader learn more about themselves through active practice.


The timeline of the book from beginning to end feels a bit quick from my own perspective. There is fast progression between one activity to the next. The book is designed to help the reader understand themselves and to be able to start improving their dating life as soon as possible. From a therapeutic perspective, the progress these women have made through the books would take the better part of a year. However, it is compacted into 300 pages which does blur the timeline a bit. There is a lot of self exploration that aims to to help these women learn their own worth and how to use that worth to better their relationships and dating life. Along with self-exploration, Shan Boodram had the girls learn how to enhance their own skills with professionals speaking about the different aspects of dating, such as flirting, consent, etc. My favorite part of the whole book is the underlining lesson of the individual learning about themselves and using the power of self-awareness and personal growth to understand their self-value. By understanding one’s self-worth, individuals learn to not accept less than they deserve and to be better at picking who they want in their lives based on how they are treated. Shan Boodram mentioned she did a lot of the experiments as a way to get these women out of their comfort zones and to learn more about what they do or don’t like. These women were taught to enhance their own skills, but also enhanced how they viewed themselves in a dating environment which has made a huge difference in each of their perspective stories. Another aspect of the book is how Shan Boodram scaffolds the lessons onto one another and the art of continuous practices to improve one’s own skills.


As a reader, I loved getting to know the women in the book and felt as if I was a part of the group sessions and learning along with them. The book is made for readers in different relationship statuses and in different parts of life because there is information that can benefit everyone. I am in a committed relationship and do not need dating advice. However, I learned about myself in terms of the characteristics I want, and have, in a partner. Along, I learned about my love and apology language which I use to communicate with my partner. I do use some of the tools within the book to give to my own clients because I am a therapist and they are a beneficial resource. I applaud Shan Boodram’s work with The Game of Desire and the strides that were made for the women in the book. It is a great piece of literature that has an amazing educational backbone. I recommend this book to anyone interested in learning about themselves in a relationship/dating perspective. I always recommend learning more about oneself to improve life in different areas, such as dating, friendships, employment, etc.

© 2020 Ashley

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