Have you ever entered into something head first...that you knew was too good? Its almost a trap when that happens. You find yourself twirling around on some kind of mental mountain like Julie Andrews. Thing is, with all that twirling, you either stop and find something still to focus on, or you fall down.
Wheres my still thing? Wheres my focus?
I never set my eyes on anything, so down i fell.
Down and down and down.
What a nightmare.
You know, when your young, and you fall in love, you think everything is going to be okay. You think that the attributes that you are so fond of that the other person holds are the ones that are going to get you through the rough times.
You never stop to think that maybe its the other persons flaws that are going to bring on those rough times. That maybe the light you see beaming from that persons eyes will fade away and dissapear. What do you do then? What do you do when the stuff that drew you in fades away.
Sometimes you do nothing. Sometimes you are appeased momentarily by glimmers of what the light used to be. Sometimes that glimmer buys you a few more days.
That is why some people feel stuck. That is why alot of times, at the point where you feel you should leave, you dont.
Because you catch a glimmer. a glisten. a slight shimmer.
And your hopeing maybe it will be the begining of the return to happy.
But thats not reality. Sometime when the light is gone, its just gone.
Sometimes you need to know when to pull out.
Anyway, his glimmer, his light, is gone. Ive attempted to move on to better things, but im pretty sure replacing someone elses light is not the answer.
Time to brighten up my own.
I dont want to be the glow in the dark star that needs the light to recharge, and can only be recharged by another.
I want my own light.
And so im starting my journey.
Wish me luck.