My random thoughts and feelings for today .
Honestly I don't know why i'm writing this, I have a book I have for all of this insight and thought I normally get , but I guess I'll just project it onto the web today , my hand kills after I write so long. I'm doing a journalism course, and really I dont know why right now, I love to write . I may not be very good at it in terms of grammar, spellings etc but ( trying not to sound too cheesy) it is something that comes from within me. It is a part of me, like a limb or a nose and an eye. :) I write poetry mainly , I dont write it to be professional, I write it to clear my mind . To get my feelings down on paper in a creative way. So I just presumed journalism would help me expand my ways of writing but now i'm not so sure. I want to write a book , I want to do something to inspire and reach out to people. I love to write but I dont see my self reporting news and writing articles. I know life isn't easy and the things you love and want to pursue don't come easily , but I'm the type of person that will never finish anything. Which is pretty bad. I start and rarely finish, inspiration temporarily runs through my veins and the vanishes midway. As much as I wish I was a motivated person i'm not. I find myself staying at home a lot and hoping that inspiration will walk back into my life like a long lost friend. But I know deep down I have to go out into the world to find inspiration to live and to learn. I just cant find any interest in journalism. Im not drawn to it and it makes me wonder. I love to dance and sing , that doesnt mean i should teach dancing and go onto the xfactor ( which would not be a good idea for my own dignity). I love to write , but does that mean I should make a career out of it ? All I want is to inspire , or help someone. That maybe a heartbroken girl or a lost person will see what I write and relate to it , and feel like their not so alone that I have felt what they have felt and that my words the fact I have been there can help to heal them in even the slightest way. Just like the poets and song writers i have come across have inspired me. I want to be brilliant , I want to be successful. Everyone does , nothing makes me any better or different. Its just , if one day I can write something even worth reading twice and enjoying I would be happy. Not articles , not news. Just Life. I want to write about life,love and passion. Pain and happiness. I want to be remembered, quoted, studied. I just wish i could find my way , to be motivated , to be the person I want to be. I have my whole life , but i am so scared that I wont succeed and in years from now I will be someone completely different to who I wanted to be, I will be a stranger to my own dreams. I dont want that . Not at all..