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My old 'friend', you're back again,
You've got me screaming again,
Punching myself in the head again.
Feeds my ego, gives it life,
It's the food that it needs to survive,
The sustenance that makes it thrive.
Narrows my perception, I can't see the woods through the trees,
Trapped in my emotion, single minded thinking, blood pressure is rising, my head is ringing,
My knuckles bleed.
Fighting battles, that don't need fighting,
Fighting enemies, that don't need beating,
It was dormant now it's alive and breathing,
The red mist is ascending.
Combative, aggressive, destructive,
The Angel tries to keep you in,
The Devil lets you go,
The triggers are the same,
Yet I still keep taking the bait.
Is a part of me enjoying it?
The broken furniture, head banging, smashed phones, my desecrated home,
The cuts on my fists.
Or is life dualistic?
Two sides to every page,
Two sides to every coin,
Are anger and peace two opposing ends of the same spectrum?
Am I at the mercy of my thoughts?
Their experiment their victim?
It's been said that you need intellect to control the animal within,
'Her-em-akhet', the true meaning of the sphinx,
If this is to be believed, then I still have a lot to learn,
A lot to take in,
Because my intellect's inadequate,
So my animal is winning.