N. KOREA DECLARES: "SHOW BIZ WAR!"

Said the supreme dictator this morning from his un-disclosed bunker: "If that motherf**ker Basso doesn't stop making fun of me and my dead daddy, North Korea is prepared to take supreme appropriate actions."

When asked, Supreme Leader Jung Un clarified that "appropriate actions" included, although were not limited to, the placing of personal sanctions against Reid Martin Basso, effectively barring the social commentator from ever entering the Communist nation.

In response, Basso said he sought only to work towards a peaceful resolution and extended an invitation to the dictator that the two "hold cooperative dialogue." Basso concluded by inviting the North Korean dictator to discuss their differences in a sit-down interview, preferably with JAMES FRANCO and/or SETH ROGAN present.

Kim Jung Un responded only by stating that if Basso did not stop his lampoon of the dictator's family, or his regime, he was not ruling out the use of DENNIS RODMAN.

Monitoring. More to follow...

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FNN:Fake News... Breaking at the Speed of Wind
[© Reid Martin Basso on assignment for FNN: FAKE NEWS NETWORK]