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NEED FEEDBACK- PART1. Book i am writing, title to be decided.

Updated on November 19, 2015

I hope you like it! Thank you again!

It was past midnight. She closed the curtains and huddled on her bed trying to hold back the tears. He should have been home hours ago, why hasn’t he called? She’s beginning to panic and she can feel the anxiety bubbling like lava under her skin. He was only at work, less than five miles away. They’d live in one of the nicest mansions in (haven’t decided where) what could have possibly happened? After attempting to call him for what seemed like a decade, she called the police station and reported a missing person.

The next morning it was all over the news and in the newspapers. Headlines Read; DEA AGENT Michael L. Simmons reported missing, never returned home from work. The article then went on to read “Anyone with information regarding the missing agent is required by law to report it to their local police station. Withholding information is a…” She wasn’t sure if she was glad they were helping or if all of this was freaking her out even more. On top of being on the front page of every newspaper her phone would not stop ringing and the neighbors were crowded around her house like it was an episode of Law and Order SVU. Why were they all standing there? Just staring at me through the window like an animal stares at their prey. There was nothing to see, Michael wasn’t here. Michael apparently wasn’t anywhere. Almost a full 24 hours had gone by and absolutely no one had come forward with any information. It was like he just vanished; fell off the face of the earth. But things like that don’t just happen… not without reason that is.

“Would you please go check on Deseray sweetie? I’ve been calling her all day and she hasn’t responded. I’m worried she’s not okay Jess, what if something happened to her too? Please go check on her”! Deseray’s mom Diane said nearly sobbing through the phone.

Jess, short for Jessica, was pretty much her best friend since they were born. “Of course I will go see how she is doing! Even though we don’t talk a lot, you know I’m still always there for her mom”. She responded with the same gentle voice she always had growing up.

“I just think she could really use a friend right now you know? You’re the best Jess! Thank you so much”! Diane was a lot less panicked this time

Jessica responds back “I know she does, I was planning on going over tomorrow, but you’re right. I will let you know what she tells me! Talk to you soon”. She quickly hangs up the phone, grabs her bag and heads out the door.

The ride to her house should have taken forty five minutes but it only took Jess a half hour. When she arrived at the Mansion, Deseray looked like she hadn’t slept in days even though it had been less than one. Jessica also questioned if she showered, or, if she even decided to get dressed. She was wearing an old pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt that she cut the neck off of. We were always weird with things like that growing up, our shirts were too tight on our necks and our skirts weren’t tight enough. That’s how girls are these days, not that we’re still children, or teenagers for that fact. They were both 27 and coincidentally their mothers got pregnant, probably on the same day because there due dates were two days apart. The girls both ended up being born on the same day a half an hour apart.

“I missed you Jess, thanks for coming by”. Deseray said trying to force excitement.

“I missed you too! It’s been a while and your mom called me worried about you. She said she tried calling you a bunch of times. Are you alright? What’s going on love? I’ve been seeing Michael's Missing Persons story all over the news”.

Deseray says with a sad look on her face, “I feel like a little kid who just lost their favorite toy forever”.

“Yeah maybe, but the difference is you don’t know if it is forever”. Jessica said back, almost regretting it instantly. Deseray looked up slowly; she looked like she had seen a zombie for the first time. Her pale white skin up against her dark brown hair did nothing for her. She hesitates once more before finally saying “I think that might be worse”. Jessica can’t help but think to herself, why did I say that? How can I make her feel better and how can I help her? Deseray sits there staring at an old mark on the wall that looked to be like jelly, while her friends watching her wondering what she was thinking.

After a few awkward moments of silence Jess grew the courage to speak again. This time she asks her what she was thinking, she was not failing at giving her advice again. She is still sitting there, staring at the jelly but she reply’s

“I didn’t know Michael….” Des spoke with a struggle and a voice so soft Jessica missed the last half of the sentence. On second thought, she wasn’t even sure if she finished it.

“You didn’t know Michael what”? Now she is almost in a panic herself.

Deseray repeats “I didn’t know Michael was a DEA agent”. This time she spoke a little louder, but her voice was still distraught. Jessica sat there for a moment half expecting her to say she was kidding. A few seconds go by and she realizes she is not kidding.

“Then what did you think he did? And why wouldn’t he tell you? Whys there a reason to hide it? Do they have to”? Jessica could feel the rage and all of the questions coming at once. She paused, took a step back and a deep breath ; Don’t overwhelm her Jessica says to herself Knowing that Deseray probably had a million more questions than she did, she patiently waited for her to answer the ones she already asked.

“I knew he worked for the government, but as a Human Resource Manager at Department of Health and Human Services” she said almost afraid of what Jessica might say next.

“How in the hell didn’t you know that he lied? I mean you never had any doubt”?

“Nope” she said so positively. “It totally just happens all the time, husbands lie to their wives about where they work, to pay the bills for the MANSION that they live in.” Jessica almost looked confused, she wasn’t, she was taking in every that was happening. It all happened so fast, no one had time to adjust. After a few minutes went by she spoke. Not before noticing Deseray was beginning to look restless again.

“OK. No that doesn’t happen every day, but why did it happen is what I want to know”

“That is all I want to find out! Not knowing what happened to him and why is eating me alive. Why doesn’t anyone have any information and if they do why have they not come forward”? The tone in Deseray’s voice was starting to sound angry.

“I got it” Jessica jumped up so fast and so excited. “Let’s Go”! she yelled.

“Go? Go where”? She said

“I know someone who can help” Jess said happily.

“Help”? Deseray now looked confused but, she wasn’t taking in anything. She was really confused.

“What could they possibly help with? It’s not like you know anyone who knows him. Or do you?”Deseray was now getting skeptical of everyone, she felt like everyone was lying to her. She feels betrayed, hurt, lost… “Did you know about what he did for work?”She accused her again but couldn’t even bring herself to say it.

“NO! Oh my god Des! How could you even say that”? This made Deseray think more about what she had said, she didn’t mean it. She knew her best friend wouldn’t keep something like that from her. She was quick to apologize to Jess for being out of line, they get in the car and head off. To where? Deseray had no idea, she would ask Jessica where they were going and she would only respond with trust me Des trust me!

© 2015 Amanda Drew


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    • Mel Carriere profile image

      Mel Carriere 

      3 years ago from San Diego California

      I like the idea of a female lead in this story. It breaks the tired old stereotypes. Good idea, keep at it.

    • profile image


      3 years ago

      I'm intrigued!!! And impressed!!!


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