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Okay, You've Convinced Me!

Updated on May 10, 2013

Yes, I know you think I’m ugly

No need to say it twice

If you could keep those thoughts to yourself

It really would be nice.

I know you think I’m worthless

I’ve heard you once before

I wish that you would say it less

Instead you tell me more.

I know you think I’m stupid

Despite all I that I know

You’re very good at what you do

You let your feelings flow.

You feel that I’m not good enough,

But good enough for who?

It’s funny, for a moment

I was just enough for you.

Alright, alright I get it

There’s nothing good to say

So I guess I should stop trying

Since you think of me this way.

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    • Cantuhearmescream profile imageAUTHOR

      Cat 

      5 years ago from New York

      Oh, my dear sweet Ed! ... little huggy bear, you're too cute and you've got me giggling! I certainly appreciate your perspective... I think I should get that printed on a shirt or bumper sticker or something. You can have all the financial profits... I'll just take the peace of mind... lol.

      You really are a sweetheart Ed. I sometimes wonder if being 'too nice' bites ya in the bum... but I'd just assume keep being 'too nice' :D

      I don't think they make them like you 'round here! lol

      You're awesome Ed... thanks for making me smile and my heart all warm and fuzzy!

      Hugs Hugs and more Hugs,

      Cat

    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 

      5 years ago

      Hey little huggy bear ! I think that men who belittle a woman are weaker than little children ! Knowing what I know about you - ---well , I won't tell anyone if you don't , --lets just say you are awesome and your my girl ! So ......where are those bullies , let me at um !

    • Cantuhearmescream profile imageAUTHOR

      Cat 

      5 years ago from New York

      Au fait,

      I am blown away and so deeply moved, thank you! After reading this, I honestly can say, I feel like I can face today with broader shoulders and a healthy approach. So many things you talked about are so true and equally inspiring. These are the things that we fail to recognize when stuck in our own little sad or negative holes. There is a better way to look at things and you've shined light on so many of them. It's funny because I do believe that I'm genuinely accepting of others and their flaws. I have respect for flaws and shortcomings because it makes me feel that in some ways, we are all alike. Yet, I feel that we live in a time and place where people choose to focus on flaws rather than positive attributes and it leaves me overwhelmed. After reading your words, I think I'm probably harder on myself than anyone else and you are so right when you say that, as adults, we need to reprogram ourselves and our thinking! As a child I was too innocent and ignorant to understand things and they seem to all come to light like a ton of bricks and I found myself unpreppared for how to deal with so much all at once. I am the only one that can choose which cards I play, right? So why not play my best cards?

      Yes, I do believe in God, though, again, in the time and place we live... so many try to knock even that down. You are right when you say most people don't appreciate a tough woman. I think so many are threatened by it and they shouldn't be, because one's toughness, should have no affect on another's weakness. Though I'm weak in mind often, I try to have a tough shell and I find that many people try to tear that away and make me feel small. Sometimes, that leads me to more insecurities because I feel like 'see what happens when I try to be tough... I'm knocked right back down'. By tough, I don't mean rude or insensitive, I just mean strong, personally. I absolutely appreciate toughness in a woman and I see it in you. You are also very wise and your psychology education and experience are extremely apparent, though I suspect you are in tune with such matters of the mind even without all the classes.

      I love the idea of praising efforts rather than successes! My son played on a soccer team at a young age and so many focus on "being fair and equal" that they actually did not keep scores for the games, in fear of hurting a child's feelings. Well, I grew up winning and losing and no, that's not all that counts... but it is a reality and kids today should be aware of it. If we don't ever let our children naturally experience any failures as kids, they will be overwhelmed by the harsh realities of the real world when they arrive there as adults! I tell my kids after a loss 'better luck next time, you can't win 'em all, but you played a heck of a game!'

      Au fait, thank you so much; you can't possible have a clue how much your words have touched and inspired me and I am so grateful for them and you!

      Cat

    • Au fait profile image

      C E Clark 

      5 years ago from North Texas

      Think about all the people you know, even the ones you just barely know. Are they perfect? If not, what are some of their shortcomings from your perspective?

      No one is perfect. Most people do the best they can with the cards they are dealt, but sometimes people don't realize the value of one or more of their cards and fail to play them as a result. Because they do not know the value of some of their cards, some people may even put some of their cards at the back of their hand thinking they are not even worthy of consideration when in fact it may be their most valuable card of all -- the card that can be played as anything they want it to be.

      Realize that everyone has their shortcomings, even your parents, though they probably seemed like Gods when you were very little. That is why it is so reprehensible when people abuse their little children -- because little children love their parents and look to them for literally everything. Love, guidance in an unfamiliar world, information, protection, basic life needs, etc.

      Especially at a very young age, no one has the ability to hurt a child more than a parent or close caregiver. Little children absorb everything they observe their parents doing and remember every word spoken. Even when their conscious minds may not recall those things, I promise you it is all perfectly recorded in their subconscious minds to whisper to them in those moments when they are uncertain, scared, attempting something new, hoping for some particular outcome.

      Since we know this, as adults we must sometimes reprogram our subconscious minds. When people have said mean spirited ugly things to hurt our heart and our confidence, and we know when we examine those words in daylight they are wrong, we have to reprogram ourselves with positive words.

      Even in jest, do not put yourself down. If you stub your toe on the way to somewhere don't say, "I'm such a klutz!" Or when a word will not come to you, "Don't mind me, I'm just having a brain fart." It may gloss over the moment but it also gets stuck in your subconscious mind and affects your attitude, your confidence and your belief in yourself. It will come out in that nagging whisper that tells you not to expect to succeed because you are a klutz, or subject to brain farts at the worst possible times. Whatever negative thoughts you have about yourself will replay over and over again in your subconscious mind and affect your daily life even though you are not consciously aware of it. I'm a PSYC major, so I know these things to be true.

      Who of all the people you know, and be brutally honest with yourself here, which of all those people is truly better than you are? Why are they better? Can they do something better? What can you do better than they do?

      Everyone has different talents and skills. No one is good at everything. Does someone you know have more compassion for others? Fix it. If they are truly better at something than you are and it matters, fix it, plain and simple. If it doesn't matter, forget about it. Concentrate instead on your own best traits, talents, and skills. Be an original.

      I don't know if you believe in God because so many people today say they don't. I will tell you what I told my daughter from the time she was 3 years old. God don't make junk. No one can demean you unless you let them. I can't tell you how many times people have tried to humiliate me. It worked when I was small, but it doesn't work anymore.

      There is always a reason why people are the way they are. If I seem tough it's because I've had to learn to be tough. Most people don't appreciate 'tough' in women and while they say a person should be themselves, they really mean be yourself so long as you're like all of the rest of us.

      Define yourself to yourself and don't let anyone diminish your spirit. If they try to do that it's usually because they need to tear you down to build themselves up in their own mind. Remember, everyone is who they are for a reason. If you can figure out that reason you will have better understanding and be more helpful to them. Eventually you will find yourself less critical overall, and more tolerant of people who are different or difficult.

      Everyone has scars and more people than you think have open wounds that just won't heal. Anyone who says they have no baggage hasn't lived -- or maybe they're just fooling themselves. Everyone gets a few nicks and bruises on their way through life. Once something is over and done and set in concrete, keep it as a learning experience and put it on the shelf for reference. If it was a bad hurtful experience don't let it ruin tomorrow the way it screwed up yesterday or today. You can control that. Once you make up your mind to be in control and not let other people and things control you and your life, you'll be much happier and become stronger and better at controlling your own life every day.

      Sometimes praise for effort is more important than praise for success, especially if the outcome wasn't that great. Honesty is important so you don't set your children up for disappointment when the rest of the world may not agree that the end result was a success. So if your child gives his/her best effort to making a great apple pie but it turns out to be soupy and too salty, instead of praising what a great pie it is, or what a great job they did, say instead, "I'm sorry it didn't turn out the way you wanted it to, but I know you tried really hard to make it just right. Next time it will be better because I know you learned some important lessons in this effort.?

      So now you have another hub to go with the one above that you wrote yourself! I have confidence in you Cat. I know you're going to do well at whatever you set your mind to.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile imageAUTHOR

      Cat 

      5 years ago from New York

      Au fait,

      The first time I ever read your words, I knew you were a strong and intelligent person and you never fail to prove I was right! I've honestly never thought about it like that before. I am probably my own worst enemy by feeding those negative thoughts to myself. Because I am so accustomed to them, I am all too ready to believe them from someone else. What I should be doing is reminding myself of my strengths and good qualities so I'm not so easily knocked down. Sometimes I just get in the mood and write these things and I don't really know where they come from, but they write themselves.

      My parents were great parents; they were very physicaly involved but I think my father was a little emotionally uninvolved. He unintentionally said things that will stay with me forever and didn't say some of the simple things kids want to hear. I think that's where I developed my 'not good enough' mindset from. But, thanks to my awareness; I can absolutely appreciate what you said about how we handle kids. I know how much these things in childhood affected my psychological well-being as an adult and I would never want my kids or any other to struggle because they fall victim to an irresponsible adult's mishaps. I really try to praise my kids as much as I can and I'm trying to help them build healthy self-esteems so the will be strong and not so easily knocked down.

      Thanks Au fait, I always enjoy your visits and your opinions are certainly thought provoking.

    • Au fait profile image

      C E Clark 

      5 years ago from North Texas

      The scripts in one's mind are easily set by others and even by one's own thinking and words. A person should never say negative things about themselves, such as "I never do anything right," or "I'm just a klutz." Even things like that may seem harmless, but the subliminal mind remembers them and will play them back in various situations.

      Mr. Ford, who invented the assembly line and Ford vehicles once said, "If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right." What you think matters and what you think about yourself will determine what you achieve and whether or not you always do things wrong or if you are a klutz, etc. If you think you can't, you'll probably fulfill that thought/belief. If you think you can, you're halfway to success! :)

      Never tell young children they are worthless/useless/stupid/good for nothing, homely/ugly/etc. You are programming them to be what you tell them they are and that's not fair. Give them the chance you may not have had -- to be who they are and all they can be.

      As always, your thoughts are well expressed and worthy of rumination. Voted up, interesting, and will share.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile imageAUTHOR

      Cat 

      5 years ago from New York

      vandynegl,

      Aww, you're so sweet! I forgot to tell you;

      Vandynegl is awesome for at least these reasons:

      1. She understands nutrition, and shares her knowledge with others to help better their health and in doing so, life!

      2. She’s super smart and can teach not only children, but adults, which neither is an easy task.!

      3. She must be one of the coolest wives!

      4. She loves her kids enough to MOTHER them!

      5. She’s passionate and adventurous!

      6. She gives life to fruits and vegetables and can appreciate the beauty in watching them grow!

      7. She is funnier than she realizes!

      8. She must be a wonderful friend!

      9. She has the sexiest set of vegetables I’ve ever seen!

      10. Despite her own opinion; she’s definitely not a nerd!

      Now I feel better :D

      Thanks nice lady!

      Cat

    • vandynegl profile image

      vandynegl 

      5 years ago from Ohio Valley

      Cat,

      Awesome poem, and yes, it is okay to "expose" yourself! Writing is the best way to do that.

      On another note, I'm enjoying the top 10 lists here.....can't wait for someone to write one about me!

    • Cantuhearmescream profile imageAUTHOR

      Cat 

      5 years ago from New York

      Oh Dearest Colin, you make me laugh and cry and laugh until I cry... that Lindsay Lohan bit is hilarious... I'd love to know what's in your Wheaties! :-) You are too darling... I hope you know how much you mean to me. No matter how ugly the world around me tries to get, you always find a way to make me see the beauty... you bringeth a smile to my face each and every day! You are a gift... a gift to the world and a gift to me!

      Colin, you've inspired me... 10 of the very thousands of reasons why Colin is truly a gift:

      1. You can dry a girl's eyes.

      2. You make the saddest of people happy.

      3. You find laughter where there is gloom.

      4. You make a rainbow in spite of the rain.

      5. The sun shines brightly because you ask it to.

      6. You share the sun with others because you feel the need to share the warmth.

      7. You inspire the world and make the smallest of people big.

      8. You see the best in people even when that means grasping at straws.

      9. You make others' strong even in moments of your own weakness and I have never seen a less selfless soul!

      10. You are not a jack of all trades, but a master of life!

      I could go on until my typing fingers blister...! These are only 10 of the many reasons I love you so!!!

      We just might need you to work that rainbow magic of yours today, for rain is in the forecast! I will hold your umbrella dear!

      Your Cat

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 

      5 years ago

      Well my delicious edible Cat you convinced me a long time ago with your inimitable charm and unique writing style and I feel an 'urge' to dedicate a brand new epi-man top ten to you:

      How the lovely Cat convinced me:

      10. When God made woman He went ahead and made women but He also saved a place for a special kind of woman and that was Cat.

      9. If Adam had Cat he would have asked for one favor - to be able to have access to the remote control and they would hav both lived in the Garden of Eden happily ever after.

      8. And Adam would have chipped in by washing the dishes and cooking a grand gourment meal every once in awhile for his lovely Cat

      7. and helped out with the gardening too

      6. and remembered to take the trash out

      5. He would babysit the children and let Cat have girls night out

      4. He would allow Cat quality writing time and support her dream of topping the New York Times bestseller list

      3. Although Adam had Lindsay Lohan in the garden (she was the fookin' serpent) he knew that Lindsay was a hussy and never bit into any forbidden fruit ....

      2. except into Cat's cherished peaches

      1. which is why they had many more children and they all did a stage revival of Rodger's and Hammerstein's The Sound of Music. Amen.

      lake erie time 1:48pm

    • Cantuhearmescream profile imageAUTHOR

      Cat 

      5 years ago from New York

      Colin,

      Thank you for your inspirational words, they mean a lot! I would love to do more poetry but thought it was not accepted very well here, before I found you anyway! Of course, you are way above my level, you are a lyrical genius.

      Two weeks ago I had my winter coat put away; now I'm freezing with it on!

      Thank you again, you're support is awesome!

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 

      5 years ago

      Well my fabulous Cat you must remember one thing - poetry is for everyone and if you write from the heart (and you always do) then the mind will always follow.

      Just be yourself and dare to be different (and you do that too) - I would love to see more from you - this Canadian says - bring it on.

      Yes I think they mark the calendar date of spring too early as March 21.

      Often winter doesen't really end as you know until April 21. lol

    • Cantuhearmescream profile imageAUTHOR

      Cat 

      5 years ago from New York

      Colin,

      I was afraid to read your comment; from a pro to an amateur. I love poetry, of all kinds, but I really only stick to writing the diddy kinds. I have notebooks and notebooks full of them that I'm sure no one cares to read though they bring me some pleasure as I write them, in the moment. It's kind of like looking at someone's vacation pictures. I turned this poem down a notch to be appropriate for the online community but after reading your awesome works, I see that they can handle more than I thought! You're great!

      Cold and snow approaching here in Upstate, NY. I will gladly take your warm wishes and offer some back to you.

      Cat

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 

      5 years ago

      I just simply love your no BS attitude and the sardonic way you view the world and the people who inhabit it. Your writing is always fresh and witty and often catches me off guard in the most surprising ways which is a good thing. lol

      How are you today my friend and sending warm wishes from a cold snowy lake at lake erie time canada 5:28pm courtesy of Colin and his cats

    • Cantuhearmescream profile imageAUTHOR

      Cat 

      5 years ago from New York

      RBJ33,

      You are the one who is insightful! Thanks, I appreciate the advice and yes, self-induced. I couldn't agree more. I say all the time that we are responsible for our moods, we can choose to see the dark side of everything or the bright side. I do find myself in the pity mode sometimes but I try to find sunshine every day and I try to pull others out from behind their dark clouds. There is nothing that bothers me more than watching a loved one sit in a rut, I think I am a good motivator but not always the best at taking my own advice. Also, I think it is easy to fall into a place where you don't really know how to find the strength to stand up when you are constantly pushed down; you start to doubt your own worth.

      P.S. I had to stop for dinner, but I will be getting to your hubs, I promise!

    • RBJ33 profile image

      RBJ33 

      5 years ago

      I fully understand what you are saying - tough situation for you, but there is no bigger mistake in life than living the way others want or expect you to live. Dance like no one is watching. Its hard to not being influenced by what others think, but with your tough skin I say be who you are and write what you want. I would like to see you also smiling on the inside. I believe that stress, like guilt is self induced - this is similar!

    • Cantuhearmescream profile imageAUTHOR

      Cat 

      5 years ago from New York

      RBJ33,

      Thank you, I' really appreciate your comments, they are uplifting and I found myself smiling thanks to you. But...I find myself wanting to write about what I know, but then I want my writing to be anonymous so as to not expose myself. I am a huge "smile on the outside" kind of a person and I don't want people to treat me like a victim and I definitely don't want to play victim. Do you understand where I'm coming from. I don't mean this in regards to your comment, I mean this in general. I have feared writing about certain topics because I believe people place the author as the main character. Is there anyway to avoid that or do you think I should embrace it? Nonetheless, thank you for the comments and never hesitate to say anything because I have tough skin and I am virtually impossible to offend :-)

    • RBJ33 profile image

      RBJ33 

      5 years ago

      There is a great deal of hurt in this hub - I am so sorry. I believe that the very bottom of the scum bag barrel are those that misuse and abuse children and women, nothing is lower than that.

      Keep going girl - you have a lot to offer, as evidenced by your writings - keep it up.

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