We made our bed in surroundings, splendid
Of a wondrous architecture fashioned.
Our joys were the joists and the beams our dreams;
From fantasy thus was our castle raised
Where often the sun-splashed halls we walked
To hear the fountain's music as we kissed.
Oft we met in sweet rendezvous of bliss.
Chairs, kitchen counters and tables all rocked
Beneath us as our sweating bodies raged
And we played out every sensual dream,
Expending on each other our passions
In every pose we tried, indeed we did.
Perfection was embodied in our kiss.
Whenever our feverish lips were locked
The temperature of the room was raised.
Our life was idyllic within our dreams,
As our lovemaking grew more impassioned
Until, as all dreams must be, ours ended.
Unsustainable is the pretended.
One cannot forever stay in Play-land.
Dream castles must fall without their dreams;
Imagined love without its fantasies fade.
We found the road to fantasy blocked
By the truth that we never touched and never kissed.
Castles fashioned of dreams are perilously raised.
Far the fall to earth from imagined towers of bliss,
Yet beyond regret these passions:
Priceless the memory of the kiss within the dream.
We are all seeking. We all have a place of emptiness inside. Theories about the universal feelings of emptiness range from the psychoanalytical to the spiritual. On the one hand is the idea that these feelings stem from never having recovered from our exit from the womb. On the other hand is the idea that we begin as part of the universal and separate ourselves to be and experience being; yet being creates disorientation in our spirit since it is accustomed to oneness. Somewhere in between is the vague and seemingly harmless idea that maybe one is in the wrong job, wrong relationship, location, etc.
There are many things we turn to in order to fill ourselves up when we feel empty. Sometimes we seek external validation in the form of praise or victory - (Getting nice comments on your poem published online, or winning at the poetry contest, for a couple of examples). We might eat or drink excessively to fill ourselves up, or spend excessively to make assuage our emptiness with a false feeling of abundance. In the workplace we may try to prove that we are better than our coworkers. At some point in our lives, many of us seek to prove our desirability by attracting a partner, because we think the intimacy and pleasant physical sensations of a relationship will fill us up.
It is possible to want something so much that a person imagines they actually have it. They build a fantasy love without physical substance but as charged with emotion as the real thing. Falling out of one’s imaginary castle in the cloud can be just as dangerous as falling out of a real castle. In the case of fantasy love, one can end up as bereft as any victim of lost love even though they never even shared as much as a kiss with the person they think they love.
Yet the answer to the memory of lost love, be it real or fantasy, is the same as the answer to all memories. May all your memories be worth cherishing, but those memories that cause sadness act as an anchor, connecting you to a past you no longer need. Let time ease them into forgetfulness.
Cut the chain.