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Night Mare in a Box

Updated on September 28, 2012
Graphic Art by Lori Hrdina
Graphic Art by Lori Hrdina | Source

There is a chill in the air as I walk down the little side street on Halloween night, I pass by children and the parents that are out going from house to house shouting Trick or treat, only to see the faces light up as candy is placed in the little pumpkins and bags that they carry. The moon is big and bright and seems to be shining on one particular place tonight and that is the old mansion that sits all along at the top of the hill no one lives there anymore, haven’t for years since the death of the owners, it is said that their children have removed all the belongings out of the place except for one room that no one will even dare to go into, it is supposedly haunted and that all who enter the room are changed for life in some way. As I walk towards the old mansion, I notice some shadows moving around inside, I can see the flicker of candles that are burning and I am now becoming curious as to who in their right mind would even dare to go in this strange place. I proceed on up the driveway towards the front steps and notice that the wind has picked up and is getting colder, I can hear laughter as I reach the door and before I can even knock the door opens by itself with a screeching sound from the hinges being rusted. With a startle I step back and just look at this door that is made from a strong wood that still looks new, I slowly peek inside and whisper hello is someone in here, but get no reply, I slowly move inside the door and start to look around seeing nothing just and empty living room and a staircase in front of me and a hallway beside it, again I hear the sound of laughter and it seems to becoming from a room at the end of the hall. With a little louder voice I again say hello, can anyone hear me, still no reply, I began walking towards the sound that I heard and find myself standing in front of what appears to be a door to a basement or cellar, I gently turn the knob and push open the door, there are stairs that lead down into a dark room, the only light that is partially visible is from the moon that is shinning through a small window. As I slowly and carefully make my way down the stairs, I hear sounds of footsteps that seem to be running across the floor, but yet I see no one, once I reach the bottom of the stairs I find a candle that is already lit sitting on a shelf, so I pick it up and begin to look around in hopes to find someone that is making the sounds. I turn to the left and there are old clothes hanging from a bar along with some old shoes that sit underneath them, then I turn to the right and I see a table that is sitting alone in the corner with nothing around it, but sitting on top of this table is a small intriguing looking box, I notice that there is no dust on this table or the small box as if it was just dusted and never been used before. I start towards this table and the box that sits up on it, I reach out and run my hand across the top of the box, a chill runs across me as I lift the lid to see what is inside this little box, once the lid is open there is a sound of laughter that seems to becoming from within the box, I draw my face near as to look closer and see what this could be that is lying on the bottom of the box. The appearance of what looks like a small necklace shines in the candle light that I am holding in my hand, I began to reach in the box for the little piece of jewelry and as my hand goes in the box there is a tug at the back of my shirt, as I turn to see what is tugging on my shirt, a sound of cries start to come from the little box on the table, still wanting to know what has tugged at me I turn only to see a small child with a beautiful smiling face that tells me it is time for me to go and leave the mansion, for if I stay any longer I will not be able to leave and I will have to join those before me in the little box from which no one shall ever return. I quickly run up the stairs and out the front door, once I have reach the street I turn and see that the candles that once flickered in the windows were now gone and the mansion was dark again. I began to run home as fast as I could possible run, and once inside my own home I began to tell my parents of what had happen, but to my amazement they begin to laugh and told me that the mansion had been torn down years ago and that it was just an empty lot now. I could not believe what I was being told, for I was there inside of this mansion, the next morning I awoke and went back down the street to see for myself and once there I seen nothing but a driveway that lead up to an empty lot, there was no mansion, as I turned to walk away and head back home, I heard a small child say in a soft tone, see you next Halloween.


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    • alancaster149 profile image

      Alan R Lancaster 5 years ago from Forest Gate, London E7, U K (ex-pat Yorkshire)

      Some suspense that builds during the story is wasted in the lack of separate paragraphs. That could help build up the suspense. Try giving your spoken passages separate lines, even if you don't use quotation marks. Then the last bit about the child's voice saying: 'See you next Hallowe'en', could have a line to iself at the end to add to the spookiness. Do you read M R James' stories? He was a master of his art, and a slow build-up helped transmit the feeling of horror latent in his writing. There's one story about a man looking for a book in a library, finding the book missing and seeing someone else reading it... Of course the 'someone else' is a ghost in a dark monk's habit'. The mystery goes building up from there.

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      Lori Hrdina 5 years ago

      Great Halloween story, great writing.