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Nightmare of the Public Washroom in the 21st Century
The public washroom has changed and evolved over time. It is no longer a simple task of relieving oneself and a quick wash and dry of the hands.
It has become a puzzle; the challenge is "how on earth does everything work?"
It’s just a tap, but how does it work?
I don’t know about you, but I stand and look at the tap first for clues. Slowing turning my head to the left and right, just acting naturally and quietly observing how others are tackling it.
If they press the tap ‘down’ and nothing happens - it’s not a push down.
If they are trying to turn it without a result, avoid that option.
If they suddenly shriek and everyone’s soaked, it’s definitely the "hands under, sensor type".
Don't even get me started on hand driers..
We have all been complaining about the hand air dryers in public washrooms for a long time now, they make a lot of noise, but don’t seem to do any drying - in fact they are just a lot of hot air!
Well I don’t think that was justification for the revenge of the manufacturers with this "Monster".
Just one word sums it up: "Terrifying!"
I would rather leave the washroom with wet hands and do the usual drying on my scarf or jacket trick, than put my hands in this monster.
"They" are determined that we use this thing, look around the washroom, everything has been removed, there is absolutely nothing left that you could possibly use to dry yourself.
Ok so you’re going for it?
That’s good. Follow these easy instructions and you will be just fine….
Take a deep breath, fingers pointing downwards carefully lower into the jaws of the ‘Monster’
Recite the following:
"I am not putting my hands into a shredder
I am not putting my hands into a toaster
My hands will still have fingers attached
They will not be toast!"
Just a thought, if you needed a little freshening up and had splashed some nice cooling water on your face……
The mystery tap puzzle is a doddle and the "Monster" hand dryer a lamb compared to the new so called Super State of the Art Washrooms.
Instantly recognisable by being empty, they appear to be devoid of all the necessary items we associate with a bathroom......i.e. no sink and no taps!
You may find these instructions useful
Approach with caution
Give it a wide berth
This ‘Bad Boy’ demands respect.
Take your sheet of instructions and stick them above the buttons.
Don’t be afraid and confront it full on
Make yourself as big as possible
This ensures a 1 to 1 experience
People queuing behind tend to get impatient
And will try to get to your buttons
You need all of this Bad Boy’s attention
Use your elbows if necessary
You don’t need someone invading your space
For a smattering of soap
That’s your air
Mind where you stand
If you have boots with you
Now is the time to put them on
Check the floor
It will be slippy with soap
Or wet with puddles
Ignore the queue forming behind you
Press button ‘Soap’
Hands in and lather
This is when the soap drips on the floor
Press button ‘Water’
Wash off soap
Dripping, puddles on floor
Press button ‘Air’
Wait, wait, seconds ticking away……
Hands still wet?
Remove your instructions
Walk away holding your head high
But mind you don’t slip on the soapy wet floor
Dry hands on your scarf.
The whole ‘Nightmare’ experience of the modern public washroom is probably best avoided.
My best advice to avoid high stress levels, frustration and embarrasment, is to avoid all liquid consumption for 2 hours before leaving home!
Take care out there.