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No Fairytale

Updated on April 6, 2011
http://www.flickr.com/photos/alicepopkorn/4265335235/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/alicepopkorn/4265335235/




The knight leaves the fortress to seek his fortune


Behind him the drawbridge goes up


No one disparages the city behind the bridge


No one questions the knight his quest


Once dependent upon the other, now not


The Knight will travel his way


The city will have its feast day


And none shall judge



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    • bbnix profile image

      bbnix 6 years ago from Southern California

      Short and sweet Randy.

      I love the notion of the Knight alone on his quest, and yet, "The city will have its feast day...And none shall judge."

      You've set us, added adventure, tension, drama, optimism, hope, and ambivalence, all with an 8 line poem - wow!

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Metaphoric me, glad you liked it.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 6 years ago from England

      Hi, I can also see a greater picture within those 8 lines, I want to read some more! lol

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Thanks Nell, there is always more for those who look for it.

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 6 years ago

      ...well you're not the 'fairytale' type of writer - lol - so I was glad of the open ending and as BBNIX suggested - a poetic ambivalence. Intriguing concept here - and often 'less is more' when it comes to the equation of imagination between the reader and the writer!

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean

      No, I suppose I'm not. Just my metaphor of choice this time. Thanks for coming by.

    • profile image

      Emmanuel Ibok 6 years ago

      The feeling of setting out to accomplish personally set out goals. I hope the knight succeeds in his quest. I wonder whether positive or negative.

      Btw, your comment of JinglePoetry was tempting for a read and that brought me here. Nice!

      Bless!

    • profile image

      Jessica 6 years ago

      It works well, a clear image of the knight leaving, both the city and on his quest. By keeping it short it makes us think what else is going on. Less is more!

      http://jessicasjapes.wordpress.com/2011/05/16/dark...

    • profile image

      Ava 6 years ago

      Well-written. A clear message. My potluck: http://verseinanutshell.wordpress.com/2011/05/16/p...

    • profile image

      misz μεταμόρφωσις 6 years ago

      i simply like this!

    • profile image

      Matt Coughlan 6 years ago

      Methinks my lady there is something that lurks beneath the still waters of this poem. A piece like this is more of a question than an answer, which I dig. Deviously distinct! (in a good way) :D

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Greetings Emmanuel Ibok. Success does not always bring happiness and loss does not always bring pain.

      Hi Jessica. Better to be left wondering that not effected.

      Ava thanks for coming by and commenting.

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean

      I'm so glad Misz.

      And you would be very right Matt. :)

    • profile image

      Henry Clemmons 6 years ago

      Metaphor rocks in a plain simple format kind of way. I've felt like the knight before. ANd I didn't mean plain and simple as insulting. It was straightforward, a huge CLUE to let us look beyond the words. You gave us room to expand our view. A great piece. Luv it.

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean

      And I a fortress. Thanks for the great comment Henry.

    • profile image

      Clariice 6 years ago

      Behold the knight on his personal quest! Almost like how one leaves her/his country to strike out on their own :) I like the notion..Thanks for the metaphoric analogy!

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Greetings Clariice. That's a nice interpretation!

    • profile image

      Jess 6 years ago

      It certainly leaves open something more to come, or for us to imagine :)

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Poetry all buttoned up is not fun Jess.

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