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No Idle Mind Resides

Updated on August 30, 2013
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No Idle Mind Resides

By Tony DeLorger © 2013


Unrelenting, this guilt from past,

how I acted, what I did and the shame of knowing,

I could have done better,

could have stood bravely in the light,

rather than shield myself from human pain.


When least expected, thoughts envelop me,

bring up disparaging moments,

moments when I fell to my ineptitudes,

and me, wallowing in the doubts that plague a mind,

about who I think I am.


I can forgive myself, no-one is perfect,

but my expectations are high,

from what I know and understand about life,

and even though there is understanding,

action is yet another matter.


So many fragments of pain arrest me,

bring me back to those indecisions,

those excruciating instances of being torn,

between what's right, what's needed,

and what can be accomplished.


All seems to point ignominiously to me,

to my lack of stance, my fear,

and to how I have coped with overwhelming life,

witnessing cruelty, suffering and death,

of those whom I have loved.


I carry no blame, for that is a misnomer,

yet these definitive moments arise,

to drag my weary mind through pain again,

for what purpose I am unsure,

but pain and confusion none the less.


I know my mind is filled with beauty,

it flows from my pen, and yet,

what runs through my mind is darker than night,

and I, trapped within it, whimper,

from my own torturous prison cell.


Life is hard, life is fair, in balance,

and I know my pain bares fruit,

but often I feel unable to be free from myself,

that ceaseless open mind, absorbing, reliving,

this dream, this miracle, this torture we call life.


The greater the insight, the greater the creativity, the greater the emotions and the greater the pain: because we have a conscience.

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    • Tony DeLorger profile image
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      Tony DeLorger 3 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia

      My pleasure Open Heart, so glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for dropping by.

    • profile image

      Open Heart 3 years ago

      I really enjoyed this poem. Life is truly a struggle. The key is not to give up. You open the door to what many face every day. Writing is a talent that helps us all. Thank you for your work.

    • Tony DeLorger profile image
      Author

      Tony DeLorger 3 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia

      Beautifully said Wayne, and thank you. By the way, that last poem of yours was superlative. I think every now and then we excel, seem to find balance in all aspects of the art. This one for me, was such a emotive write, so raw and honest... it stands out. Excellent work my friend.

    • wayne barrett profile image

      Wayne Barrett 3 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      The deeper our well, the greater we feel its emptiness, and a stronger hunger to fill it again...and again.

      Nice work, Tony.

    • Tony DeLorger profile image
      Author

      Tony DeLorger 3 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia

      You are kind with your words Vincent, and I appreciate your opinion being an accomplished poet yourself. Thank you, my friend.

    • profile image

      Vincent Moore 3 years ago

      You covered a vast array of emotions with this beautifully painful poem my poet, I could see the hair raising on my arms, feel the stiffness of my neck as each one of your descriptive words twisted it into a knot. I felt tense, not relaxed, why? because much of what you penned, I felt deeply. Now that my friend is the talent of a great poet, to move his reader, have them feel what he either feels or creates in his own mind, and to bounce it off theirs. You are a magician my friend, bravo, I applaud your work, Tweeted and shared.

    • Tony DeLorger profile image
      Author

      Tony DeLorger 3 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia

      Much appreciated cleaner3, thanks for your comment.

    • cleaner3 profile image

      cleaner3 3 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      love your insight .. great poetry ..!

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