No Title for Goalie Heaven
A writer can encapsulate his world for the sole purpose of establishing their knowledge. However the true meaning of where this knowledge came from has to be determined by the past. If I were to go back into the past I can only say that the woman I loved gave me more knowledge in determining who I am without my established title.
If one can look at the past, can there be certain established aspects in determining the future? I can only determine the future through the knowledge that someone gave me the ability to think. Without the ability to think I am unable to determine who I am in this world and why I exist. For this, I must give the credit to someone who gave me the knowledge that escalated my life to be successful in what I am today. I could've chosen the academia world to solicit my knowledge, but then again it would not be me. She taught me how to think, and I love her for that. My future unfolded after I met her.
He definitely was no ordinary pupil; he lived in an abstract world that even harmony had no place in expressing abstract beauty. He knew he had to take the journey into the past. It was tactical maneuvering of his past that expressed his interstate feeling in the transition of learning. He encompassed tactical calculations that the universal order and beauty would be drawn on an abstract that separated the assertions of his education.
For him, the professor was easy on the eyes. He planted himself in front of the classroom with no books, pens, and all the amenities that distinguished him from the other students. At the end of the class, before he got up to leave, she motioned him to stay put. Everyone left and she crossed her arms, “I noticed you have written no exams, no assignments, you carry no books, and you sometimes look bored. This is the second semester you’ve taken my class, which is odd. I need an explanation as to why you’re doing this.”
He replied smiling eagerly, “Isn’t it obvious?” “Let’s get one thing straight, I don’t sleep with my students. Of course I’m very happy with the attention, but you’re here to get an education.” She waved to him, “Now run along.”
He laughed, “Are you being serious? The problem is that your formal logic is wrong and some of the theories you expounded are wrong. Of course, some of the theories you deemed as fact don’t even begin to answer the question of why these theories exist or how the individual arrived at these theories.” She blushed, “God, I’m cursed. I’m so embarrassed.”
“Don’t be. You can not possibly be embarrassed for thinking like that. I’m never self conscious about romance. Mind you, I never allowed convention to get into the way of the theory that is sound and concrete. Let’s get a bite to eat and I’ll tell you exactly where you’re going wrong.” She replied, “Sure, but I’m paying, I feel horrible.” He quickly glanced over, “Nothing to feel horrible about, but if you insist I’m more than willing to take the offer.”
After a month her defense mechanisms broke down and she got used to him. Every time she talked about her theories it put a smile on his face. He knew the best thing he could ever do for her was to highlight certain things about herself even though she had achieved many disappointments in her life.
She finished her joint and rested her head on his chest, “You want to talk about theories?” He closed his eyes, “Do we really have to? Can’t we just allow our silence to take place and let our minds drift away?” She responded, “So what are you going to do after you graduate? Are you going to become a professor like me?” He rolled his eyes and mumbled, “Yeah sure, Mr. Professor.”
She lifted her head and stared at him, “What do you mean by that?” He replied, “Come on honey get real, I’m not even registered at the university. I just go class-to-class and learn whatever I choose to learn. As you know it’s very expensive to go to university these days. There’s one thing I learned about teachers though, it’s very easy to get knowledge but never wisdom. Sometimes there’s always an error in knowledge, which is why you should never be chained to your limitations. Honey, can you get me a glass of wine?”
She slid off the bed and tumbled to the floor. He quickly reacted and came to her aid, “Honey are you ok?” She shot up, “Yes yes I’m ok!” She filled the glass and handed it to him; this time she felt duty-bound to breakdown his knowledge to fit herself into his mind. She felt like knocking his brains and showing him some responsibility for hard work.
“Do you really think it is fair that you get a free education while others pay for it? I deserve to get paid like everybody else, so why should my knowledge be free for you to exploit. I can’t believe I fell in love with you, how can you use the system for your own benefit?”
He told her to lay down next to him, but she refused. “Honey I’m broke, what do you want me to do? Register and pay all this money? That makes no sense. The good thing about it is that I’m getting a free education and unlike the kids you teach, I’m very resourceful. We can not make this an issue, you get paid no matter what. There are empty seats in the classroom and I choose to sit. Do you have a problem?”
“Why yes I do. You have no responsibility at all and you think everything is free. A gentleman will know his limitations and will never argue against what is right and moral, how can I feel anything for you if you’re abusing the system for your own purpose by establishing your own knowledge and forsaking others who rightfully pay? Even if you don’t have money you can still go to this university, that’s what I don’t get and I can’t comprehend your logic.”
He looked at her. “Honey, it is the freedom to choose knowledge as I see fit. Yes, you’re right that I’m abusing the system. However, I’m always there to work, think, and acquire the knowledge in order to be successful in my life. I don’t have the means nor the money to establish the rigorous work that most students do to achieve their titles. I’m not here to achieve a title, I’m here to learn and I’m grateful to you for that.”
She began to cry, “I can not be with a man like you. You go against everything that I dream of, you simply don’t understand. Even though I love you, I can’t have you in my class anymore.” He accepted that with full awareness that she was wrong.
A few years later she dropped by his store and bought a gift certificate for $300 for her husband’s hockey skates. She locked eyes with him, “We both caught up and your hair has turned silver as mine.” She gave him a piece of paper with the location of the university she was teaching at, the note asked if he would be willing to attend one of her lectures. She left the store.
He sat at the back of her class and waited for all the students to leave before he made his move. He slipped the $300 into her jacket. She asked, “How did you know?” He replied, “You gave me wisdom that no one was ever able to give me. I’m very proud of you, you went beyond everything I could ever imagine.” She squeezed his arm tightly. “I needed to hear that from you, it means everything to me.” As they left the classroom she gently slid her arm off his and drifted in the opposite direction. To this day, both of them will not take any titles unless it is a title that they came to themselves with a very long time ago.
At this age, I can truly say that if there is a spiral staircase that revolves around where I have been but am no longer there, that the spiral staircase exists upon my soul and the woman I loved in the past for giving me order in how the world works.